Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:

Hi everyone, welcome back. I'm so happy to be here with Shrylle. Shrylle, can you introduce yourself?

Shrylle:
Yes, hello! Thank you for having me on, Jessi. I'm excited to share my story and hopefully help somebody who's listening.

My name is Shrylle. I'm a life and leadership coach and a non-smoker.

Jessi:

Yay, that is incredible! Walk us through your experience with smoking, what smoking was like for you, how you were able to quit, and where you're at today.

Shrylle:

Sure. It's kind of silly. I never smoked growing up. But when I turned eighteen, in the state where I grew up in South Dakota, you're legal to buy cigarettes, buy pornographic magazines, and buy lottery tickets. So, I bought one of each of those things, like, “Woo, look at what I can do!”
I started trying cigarettes, right? There we were. It was very intermittent. I wasn't what you would call a regular smoker. That was like my senior year in high school, and then when I got to college, I became a more regular smoker and a social smoker and a habitual smoker. And that's kind of how I got started.

Jessi:

That's a really wild story. Were you kind of just curious? So that's how it started–you just wanted to see what it would be like?

Shrylle:

I think that that's probably it, right? I mean, my parents both were smokers growing up when I was younger, but I had never tried their cigarettes. In fact, I had tried to get them to quit smoking so many times, and my mom did quit eventually. I remember one time me and one of my friends were hanging out and I took one of their packs of cigarettes into the garden and I shredded it up into tiny pieces and buried it and was like, "Sorry, they're gone."

Jessi:

Wow.

Shrylle:

The irony of where I ended up. Yeah, I was just curious–what it was like. At first, it was like the thrill of something I could do that I had never done before. And I guess the habit just forms that quickly.

Jessi:

What was it like that first time you smoked? Did you like it? Was it kind of tough?

Shrylle:

When I think back to it, there's this dry, sticky taste in my mouth that doesn't taste good. I'm sure that I probably coughed and like, choked it down, trying to learn how to actually inhale and not just: [shallow inhale, short exhale]. And I did notice the buzz, right? I remember catching a little buzz. I don't really know how to explain that feeling other than, you know, now I guess I can connect it to when you have a little bit too much caffeine.

Jessi:

Right.

Shrylle:

It's maybe similar in that way.

Jessi:

Yeah. Yeah, I can relate to that. And then, was it a social thing for you or solo?

Shrylle:

When I was in high school, I would say more of a solo thing. It was something that–my friends didn't smoke. It wasn't something cool to do when I was growing up. So, it was just this rebellious thing that I did once in a while by myself, and maybe if I was with somebody else who smoked, I would do it.
And then when I got to college, that was like this party scene in my life. I hadn't been a huge partier or drinker, any of those things. So when I got to experiment with those things, smoking went along with drinking and the social aspect of it. And then my friend circle was also smokers. So it wasn't like, “Oh, I need a cigarette so bad! I need to go outside and smoke.” It was like, “Hey, do you want to go outside and have a cigarette?” So I guess to answer, it was very much a social thing.

Jessi:

Right? Yeah, it is for a lot of us. Or it's also, alternatively, a time to step away, to take a break from people, to step out. I always liked it for that, as an introvert, like, "Oh, this is my excuse [laughs] to get away from people."

Shrylle:

M’hmm.

Jessi:

But it goes both ways for most people, I found. Yeah, so, when you started getting really into it, what was that like? How was your day around smoking? Was it something that you weren't dying to do? Was it on your mind a lot? Did you have certain times, certain patterns that you would smoke regularly once you became more addicted?

Shrylle:

For sure. I would say the most common one was being in a car, right? When I got in the car, I'd light up a cigarette. And that's still a trigger for me. I really enjoyed that. I loved listening to music and smoking a cigarette. Sometimes after meals, it was a habitual thing. Always if I was having a drink, it was a thing. And a social thing, too, right? If you're with your friends and you have a drink, you go out and have a cigarette.

You know, a lot of people–you were sharing yours–was like to kind of step out and get away. I know a lot of people are like, "I'm stressed out. I need a cigarette." And that was never really my MO. And I really, almost prided myself on that because, “Oh, I don't smoke because I'm stressed out. I just smoke to enjoy it,” as if that was somehow better. [laughs]

Jessi:

Okay, that's interesting. Yeah.

Shrylle:

And as the years went on, I became a pretty light smoker. I never smoked a pack a day. I would maybe–in the earlier days a pack would last me like three days. And then as I pulled myself back a little more, a pack could last me a week, sometimes two weeks. And so I justified my habit with being such a light smoker. And I smoked that way for years.

Jessi:

Wow. You didn't really depend on it for the kind of stressful emotions, a lot of unwanted emotions. Do you think maybe it was like a boredom thing for you? You did it when you were bored?

Shrylle:

Yeah, I would say. Especially as I got away from the college life and was living on my own and drinking less. Then it was not really habitual unless I was in the car. It was probably kind of a boredom thing.

And after I quit, I did notice some stress triggers. I was like, "Oh, maybe it was almost like I was in denial as a smoker." Because as a non-smoker, I can feel that feeling of being stressed out and being like, "I want a cigarette. That would feel so good right now." And instead, just [breathes deeply] taking some deep breaths, because that's really what smoking is, right?

Jessi:

Definitely. So, that's a great tool for when you're in those early days and just getting used to not smoking. The breath is a great go-to. What was your process for quitting? Did you use aids? Did you go cold turkey? You mentioned that you cut back as a strategy.

Shrylle:

Yeah, I smoked for like eighteen years, and quit off and on. One of the first times that I quit was, “I'm not going to smoke in my new car.” And that was a huge trigger, right? “I'm not going to smoke on my breaks at work,” and just cutting back these different cue times when I was traditionally smoking. And I never really lasted more than a couple months at a time, max, right? Cold turkey. I never used patches or Nicorette gum or any of those things.

One of the things that really made me want to quit was the way that my clothes smelled. I could smell the cigarette smoke on my clothes. And even after I quit smoking, I remember one time I was sitting in a clinic office of some kind, and I had put on this cute little scarf that I hadn't worn yet this season, and it just reeked. And I was like, "That's it. I'm done." That wasn't my last time, [laughs] but I did quit for a while then.

Jessi:

Yeah. It sounds like you were having a lot of practice runs. Most of us do. It's not very common to hear of someone quitting on their first try. Ultimately, when you did finally quit this past time–it was in October, right?

Shrylle:

Right, yeah. I quit. It was my birthday gift to myself. And the last time that I quit for the longest span, I think I made it like eight months, six months. Either six or eight, I can't remember. It was a birthday gift to myself: I'm going to quit smoking. And I quit cold turkey.

And then summertime rolled around and I'm cruising with the windows down and I was like, “I really want a cigarette.” And I was like, “I can just have one or two, right? And it'll be fine. I've quit for this long. It'll be no problem to quit again.” But it was. [laughs] It was a problem to quit again. And it's really hard even still, because I enjoy smoking cigarettes, regardless of how it smells. I suppose people listening to this will understand the enjoyment of smoking a cigarette.

So yes, I quit in October. I did buy one pack of cigarettes like a month later, and slowly smoked that pack for–that pack lasted me 3 months. So although I kind of claim October as my quit date, my last cigarette was actually January 1st, December 31st, and I haven't smoked since then.

Jessi:

Right on. Yeah, it can kind of be fluid like that. It's not always just, “This was the last date.” It's kind of a mindset where you're like, “I know I'm moving on from this. This is not going to be a thing going forward.” Because people will slip up and it doesn't have to set you back so much.

I mean, it's best if you can stay away from it, but sometimes things happen and it can really set people off the rails if they're like, "Oh, no! I'm a smoker again." Instead, just being like, "No, I can keep going." Like, even if you start smoking one, you can still put it out and just say, “Never mind,” [laughs] you know?

Shrylle:

That is excellent advice and so true, right? It is a mindset and I have–you know, I'm a life and leadership coach, so I do a lot of mindset work and shifting your beliefs. And if you start telling people, "Oh yeah, I'm trying to quit smoking." But instead saying, "Yeah, I'm not a smoker." That's a completely different belief and story that you're creating for yourself, and rewiring your subconscious to start to create a different reality for you. “Oh, I'm a non-smoker.” How do you quit smoking? You quit buying cigarettes. The more that you repeat that story, the easier it gets.

Some of the other tools, I would literally put a pen in between my fingers. I know other people have done that. That was always helpful for me. And just choosing not to, right? Reminding myself, especially now when I'm coming up on that eight month mark. It's summertime and the windows are down and the cravings can be really intense. And I know that I won't enjoy that drag. It'll be like that first time when it tasted disgusting in my mouth and I might have to cough. I won't be able to enjoy it. In order to enjoy it, I'll have to smoke at least two cigarettes, right? And then it's like, “That's not what I want. I don't want to smoke two cigarettes. I just want to enjoy one cigarette.” And that's not going to be the reality for me and I know that. So, it helps remind me and deter me from purchasing the pack.

Jessi:

That's so helpful to play it forward: “What will it look like?” And because of all those times that you practiced, you know what it will look like. You know that awkward feeling when you're like, "This feels weird in my hand and my mouth." Like when you’ve moved on and you try to go back to it, and it's like, “This is weird in the beginning.” I remember that so acutely, it burning. And it's like, “No, but this is what I do for my stress or my habit or my pleasure.” That's so funny that you mentioned that, because I forgot that feeling for myself, honestly. It's just bizarre when you go back. It's like, “This isn't what I thought it would be,” until you get back in the pattern again and harden yourself to it. [laughs] Because it's kind of harsh. It's a harsh thing on your body, and if you have that awareness you can start to see that.

So I'm wondering more about the pleasure side of it. So, you said that you were able to utilize breath work, taking a deep breath. Have you found that there's other things, things that you associated with smoking, that you can still incorporate in your life, without actually smoking? Maybe like, driving with the windows down, or just something that feels good, that really wasn't the smoking itself, it's just the association with it? Because I found that for myself, that breath was huge. Taking a deep breath, taking time outside. Because I really need that outside time and it's like, “I can still go outside,” you know? I don't have to smoke to go outside. So that helped me get through that. I don't know if you had any others.

Shrylle:

Both of those examples. So again, I live in North Dakota, right? So we have a lot of cold weather. So when it's nice out, I want to be outside. But oftentimes I would go outside and smoke. Not oftentimes, most times, right? Just simply stepping outside and being out there, the first few times it feels weird, right? You're used to the habit. You're feeling the trigger. And just acknowledging those things, like, "Okay, I recognize that I want a cigarette right now and I don't need one.” Take a breath instead and ground myself to other things around me. Listening to the birds and listening to the wind and seeing the color of the grass and just tuning in to other things around me to basically distract myself from the habit and tune outward to my surroundings.

Same within the car. I love to sing, especially in the car, and when you're smoking a cigarette, I would have to not smoke while I'm singing the certain part of the song. So, I've eliminated that, and can sing the whole song and will still roll the windows down and tune into how that feels, and just enjoying the experience without the cigarette. And sometimes if I have the craving, I'll put my fingers up, pretty rarely because it feels so weird, but I have done it.

One other mindset tool that really helped: I put a lot of energy into my physical and my mental wellness. I was kind of bragging to my best friend, "Yeah, I'm pretty healthy. I'm doing this and this and this and this." She's like, "Yeah, but you smoke." And I was like, "Huh." That was something that I think about all the time. Like, I pride myself on being this healthy person, but I smoke, and that is not healthy. And we all know that. So, I wouldn't say it was really a shame thing, as much as just a reminder of, “I want to make healthy choices for my body.” And smoking cigarettes isn't one of them.

Jessi:

Yeah, that's so great to tap into joy and pleasure, because it's hard in the beginning to imagine, “How am I going to have any fun in life or have happiness again?”, when you've totally linked all of your happy moments and feelings with smoking. So, I love that, when you start to make that shift and you're like, "Wait, I can still have a great time. I can still enjoy life." And maybe even more so–like you said–with singing, that you have a wider array of options. When you don't have to be tied to smoking constantly, you can do different things, new things, or things that you love that you aren't able to integrate with smoking.

And I also like what you said about the wellness focus because, honestly, that's been a pattern in doing these podcasts and hearing these stories. A lot of people are health minded, but smoking is their thing. Either people can look at it like a balance, like, “Oh, I counteract smoking with all these things to care for myself,” or they're just kind of learning how to care for themselves, and haven't quite been able to move on from the smoking. It's lingering from that side of them that was maybe self-destructive or reckless when they were young.

So, I just think that's really cool that you were able to shift out of that and use self-care as a tool out, because that really helped me as well. I had an affirmation that I always used, “I'm taking care of myself,” to shift from the pattern that I was used to, where I was just, “Oh, I just want to feel good right now. Who cares? You know, we're all going to die.” I had so many excuses. I really like what you said about beliefs. So, what are some of those beliefs that were maybe keeping you stuck, that you were able to shift, besides the identity as a smoker?

Shrylle:

My dad was like, "We're all going to die from something.” You just said that. And I'm like, "You know what? I'm living life. I'm having fun. You only live once." All of those beliefs allowed me to use them as an excuse to continue doing what I was doing. Your affirmation is perfect because it's so short and quick and sweet. “I'm taking care of myself.” That's valuable.

Have you seen those memes of these women–or men, whatever–they're a hundred years old and the question that you ask in the interview is like, "So, what is your secret?" And they're like, "Smoke a pack a day and drink a beer every afternoon." And you're like, "God dang it. Is that the thing? Okay, I'm right on track.” [laughs]

Jessi:

[laughs] Yeah.

Shrylle:

And of course, that may be true that that was their habit, but there's a lot to be said with choosing the things that make you feel healthy. If smoking a cigarette makes you feel healthy, sure. Sometimes if a woman is pregnant and they go to the doctor and the doctor's like, "Well, you don't want to quit cold turkey because of the stress that that can put on your pregnancy,” which is kind of interesting. So, sometimes for people, weaning off slowly and choosing a new habit slowly is a good practice.

Jessi:

You were saying that, having that awareness with health, how that makes you feel. And so I'm wondering: you said that you got some pleasure out of it–was there pain also? So, were you aware of any kind of discomfort or pain or any effect it was taking on your health, whether that's emotional or physical?

Shrylle:

Yes. So, one thing that I'm hyper-aware of is: if I would catch a cold or a sore throat, I wouldn't know if it was from smoking, or if I had a cold. And that bothered me. I wanted to know if it was this bad habit or if I just happened to catch a cold.

The other thing was I would notice before I spoke, every time before I spoke, I would [clears throat], clear my voice. And I didn't notice that until one of my staff members was like, "Why do you do that?" And I was like, "Do what?" And then of course I became hyper-aware of it and noticed that it was–I don't do that anymore.

And in regard to my lung capacity or our heart capacity, I didn't really notice any of those. Yellow teeth, the fingers, I didn't really notice any of those things. But the smell, like the smell in my hair, on my clothes, those are some of the negatives that reminded me, “This is why you don't want to do that.”

Jessi:

Yeah. And so going on with that, have you noticed any changes since you've quit? Sometimes there can be surprising ones.

Shrylle:

Not really, other than the pride of knowing for sure when I have a cold. I'm not clearing my voice. Being more in tune with my eating habits, I guess, actually, which is kind of interesting. I didn't notice that at 10:00 p.m. I would always smoke a cigarette, sometime in the evening. I usually go to bed around like 11:00 or 12:00, but around 9:00 and 10:00 I was always smoking a cigarette.

Well, after I quit smoking, I was getting a snack. And I didn't notice that being a trigger or a substitution, until I started paying attention to my eating habits, as I'm on this health journey and paying attention to some of the eating triggers as well.

Jessi:

Okay. Yeah, that can happen as sometimes we can replace it subconsciously, or maybe it's not always healthy if you're not aware of what you're doing.

Shrylle:

Right. And choose a healthier snack, right? It's just another place where you get to choose. But the first step–I always tell my clients–the first step is awareness. You're aware that you don't enjoy smoking; you get to make a different choice. You're aware that you're eating sugar at 10:00 p.m.; you can choose an apple instead, or a glass of water. But so many times, our habits are mindless. They're on autopilot. We're not consciously making the choice to smoke a cigarette when we get in the car. So, bringing that awareness to when–especially for somebody who's new to quitting smoking–what are your triggers? Is it after you eat? Is it when you get in a fight? Is it as you get in the vehicle? Is it after you have an alcoholic drink?

I started removing smoking from drinking. And then I didn't like smoking when I was drinking, because it made me a little extra woozy, which is ironic because that was how I had always smoked before. That's what geared me up. So, I kind of reversed backwards. [laughs]

Jessi:

Yeah. What would be any final words that you have for someone that is feeling like they're stuck smoking, or they don't think that they can do it, or maybe they've tried to do it and not been successful? What would you say to them?

Shrylle:

That you do have to want it. If you're trying to quit because you shouldn't, but you really don't want to quit, you're not going to. You really have to want it. What you can do is ask yourself why it's important to you to quit. If you're a mother, maybe it's for the vitality of your health to be there for your children or your partner. Maybe you have a goal to run a marathon, and you know that you can't run a marathon when you're a pack-a-day smoker. So really tying in why you want to quit to truly understand, that'll help you not want to do it anymore. Mine was because I didn't want to stink and smell weird anymore. And that you can do it if you make the choice to change and choose something different.

And listening to podcasts like this to remind you that it is possible, and to keep different little tips and tricks in your back pocket. There's books out there. I haven't read any of the non-smoking books, but I've heard for some people that has been super valuable. And then just choose a different habit. That's the best thing that I can say. When you're in the car, if you're reaching for a cigarette, instead just tune in to the song on the radio and the wind in your hair, and bring that awareness to something other than the craving.

Jessi:

That's all really great advice and really well said. Thank you. Where can folks get in touch with you if they want your services or they want to connect with you?

Shrylle:

Yeah, absolutely. They can find me. I'm on Facebook and Instagram and TikTok. My website is alignlifeworks.com.

I primarily work with women. You know, we lose this version of ourselves as life goes on and we go into autopilot, whether we're in autopilot with our smoking habit, or taking the same route to work, and serving other people. So, I work with clients to help them tune in to themselves, get clarity on what you really want for yourself. Maybe it's quitting smoking. Have the confidence to believe that it's possible for you and the courage to take the action and make it happen. I'm happy to speak with any of your clients or listeners here, whether it's about learning how to quit smoking or looking for support and personal growth in other areas. I'd be your go-to gal.

Jessi:

Definitely. That sounds great because it's so difficult to sort out from living so long in that habit and to even know how to step out of it, and what you're moving towards. So I think that's really important work to help guide people through major transformations, whether chosen or thrown upon us.

They're all different phases of life and we can learn so much. And it's best to get some support to go through that, if you can.

Shrylle:

Absolutely. Having somebody who can help you ask the right questions, to help guide you and tune back into yourself and keep you on track.

Jessi:

Yes. Well, thank you so much for being here. I'm really inspired by your story. There's so many different paths; every version is valid and it's just great to hear how many people were able to find a way to being smoke-free, but in their own way. So I really appreciate you adding to the collection here. Just thank you so much for coming on.

Shrylle:

Absolutely. Thank you for having me and thank you for putting this podcast out there. I think it's something that–I used this as advice–that this can be really helpful for a person who's trying to quit.

So, brilliant idea and good luck to all of you who are trying to quit smoking today.

Jessi:

Yes. Good luck everyone and I'll see you next Tuesday. Thank you.

End of interview.

Jessi:

I hope today's story inspired you as much as it did me. When we hear stories like this, it's a powerful reminder that change is possible. If you're ready to start taking those steps for yourself, I'd love to help.

I put together a free minicourse called How to Survive a Craving to help you access tools to get through temporary cravings and hold fast to your true desire to quit smoking. This course is the stuff I wish I knew when I was practicing quitting, and I've put what worked for me in one place for you. You can grab the minicourse right now by visiting honoryourheart.net/craving.

Until next time, remember to treat yourself with kindness and to cherish the gifts of your heart. I'll talk with you soon. Thank you.




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