EP6: Building A New Identity After Quitting Smoking - Kathleen Gage

Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:

Hi everyone. Good to see you. Welcome back. I'm here today with Kathleen Gage. Kathleen, can you introduce yourself to the audience?

Kathleen:

You betcha. I'd be happy to. I'm actually a non-smoker now for thirty-one years. I know the show is about letting go of smoking. And I like to call it ‘letting go’ rather than ‘quitting,’ because when we quit something, we oftentimes want to start again. So there's a whole story behind that. But I actually own a digital marketing business and my focus is within the vegan space. It's called Vegan Visibility.

I actually started smoking when I was fifteen or sixteen. And it's funny because normally I don't even think about smoking anymore. As I was thinking about actually sharing my story with your community, what I realized is that there were a lot of things that I did around smoking that I would sneak around with my smoking–when I was a teenager, when I was married. I remember one time I had–back in the day, this was in the ‘70s–I had an MG Sedan car, which basically was a little box car, and I had lost something, and my dad said, "Well, let me help you find it." And he lifted up the seat. Actually, the car was designed so the seat lifted up completely, and there was a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. And he goes, "Uh, are you smoking?" And I said, "Oh, no, no, those belong to a friend of mine." And it was like, "Oh my gosh, busted." And I used to get busted all the time. And finally when I was forty-one, or forty, I quit smoking.

I live in Oregon. I actually live in the beautiful Willamette Valley. We live right across from the Willamette River. We have a few acres; we have rescue animals. So I have a really pleasant life and one of the things I'm most grateful for is that I don't smoke.

Jessi:

Yes. Wow. That sounds incredible. You’ve come a long way. Lived a lot of experience there. I’d love to hear more about your journey with smoking. You said that you were young. I was also very young and I think a lot of people do start young–it's a common story–and so I'm just kind of curious why you tried it, what you were looking for, what that first time was like when you started smoking and how it snowballed from there, or just, why did you continue to smoke?

Kathleen:

Back in the day, I actually started smoking, I would say, in 1970. I was fifteen or sixteen and I'm seventy-one today. I started mainly because it was an act of rebellion and I was going through my teenage years. I knew that it was kind of like, if you wanted to rebel, you would smoke. And it was also a way of being accepted by a certain group of people.

When I was a junior in high school, my parents moved to South Lake Tahoe. And I got involved with a rather fast crowd of seniors where we were not only smoking, but we were drinking and we were doing drugs. We were dropping acid and going to high school.

I've been sober also for forty-three years. So the two kind of went hand in hand. But it's interesting because with my smoking, when I quit drinking, I really held on to my smoking because it was like, “Okay, I've given up drinking. I've given up drugs. Well, I'm not going to give up smoking.”

And it was when I was forty, I had a threat of breast cancer first. That was a little red flag for me. And I thought, “I really need to quit smoking, because it probably is going to contribute to me getting cancer.” And then on the Fourth of July weekend, right after my fortieth birthday, I was rushed to the hospital with what they thought was a heart attack. And it turned out that–at the time I was bodybuilding–and I had such low body fat that it actually looked like a heart attack for some reason. So I was in the hospital on the Fourth of July weekend and I was like, “I can't do this. I just can't do this.” So it was at that time that I made a decision to quit smoking.

And I had tried, I would say–actually quitting smoking was probably harder than quitting alcohol, because it was more socially acceptable at the time. We didn't have the kind of laws that we have today. You could smoke in restaurants. You could smoke in waiting rooms. You could smoke just about anywhere. Gas stations you weren't supposed to, but people did. So for me, it was like I would stop and I would start and I would stop and I would start, and I ended up being a three-pack-a-day smoker when I finally quit.

Jessi:

Wow.

Kathleen:

I tend to be extreme on a lot of things. (Laughs.)

Jessi:

Yeah. Yeah. I can relate to that big time. You said that you had tried to quit. What kind of things were you trying to quit? Were you trying to cut back or use the patches?

Kathleen:

Yeah, at the time patches weren't real popular. I actually, when I made the decision that I was going to stop, I went to my doctor and I said, "I need some help with this." And I got the patches and also my doctor prescribed Wellbutrin because Wellbutrin was supposed to help with the withdrawals, and it did. And it was so interesting because when I finally reached the point where I quit and there were people who found out I was using the patches, they said, "Oh, you're using a crutch." And I'm like, "I'm quitting smoking.” I mean, give me a break! And so for me, I tried cold turkey several times.

And really, when I was drinking, drinking and smoking went hand in hand. There was no way I was going to be able to stop smoking as long as I was drinking. And drinking took me down a very dark path in my life. I actually went into a Twelve Step program. But back in the day, in Twelve Step programs, when I first went into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, everybody smoked.

Jessi:

Yeah.

Kathleen:

I mean, I didn't know too many people who didn't. I mean, it was like you'd walk into these, like, smoke dens and the big thing of doing service work was to wash ashtrays. And it's like my sponsor would tell me, "Go wash some ashtrays and go wash some coffee cups." And I don't even drink coffee anymore, which is kind of interesting.

But I tried virtually everything you can think of. I tried tapering off. I tried quitting cold turkey. I would buy a pack of cigarettes and then would throw it away. And when I realized that it was affecting my health the way it was, that's when I really made the decision, because my dad had been a smoker and he actually had a heart attack at the age of–I think it was–forty-one, and it was a very serious heart attack, and they attributed it to his smoking, but he still continued to smoke.

Jessi:

Yeah, that has to be hard to see someone fall ill like that and to go through that struggle with continuing to smoke. I definitely… that’s hard.

Kathleen: Yes, it is.

Jessi:

So, do you think that maybe given that you grew up around smoking when you were young and I know that smoking was more acceptable in society back then, do you think that kind of influenced you with starting and seeing it as normal and accepting it as a normal thing to do?

Kathleen:

Yeah, I would say yes, because when I was–I've had my business 31 years, so I am my own boss–but back in the day, when I was working for companies, the only way that you could take a break was if you went outside to smoke. So, there was kind of a support system for you smoking so that you could actually get away from whatever job you were doing at the time.

And I mean, I've done everything from working factory lines. I worked for a PC company back in the day, Fairchild–way back in the day–in Mountain View, California, and almost all of us smoked. And the only way we could actually, legitimately take a break was to smoke, which I find so interesting because they were basically condoning a behavior that was so negative for us.

But the reason I started was the acceptance. It made me feel cool. It made me feel like I was kind of being a little bit of a bad girl. Then it got the better of me.

Jessi:

Yeah, that's crazy that they used to incentivize that. I've actually… they still do in restaurants. I worked at a restaurant, and that was the same deal that you got more breaks if you smoked.

Kathleen:

Right, right.

Jessi:

So that’s still going on. But I'm wondering: that must have been hard–it was for me at least–when you get those patterns where you're like, "Okay, this is my time to relax, to take a break, to step outside." How was that when you were quitting? How were you able to navigate that and still have time to take breaks and take care of yourself in that way?

Kathleen:

Well, you know, I relate any kind of a negative behavior to what I learned in Twelve Step programs: that there are certain things that you need to be willing to change if you really want the behavior to change. Early on in sobriety, my first sponsor said, “You only need to change a few things. You need to change your playmates, your playground. Basically, everything in your life has to change if you want to stay sober.”

And it's the same with quitting smoking. If you continue to hang out with the people that you smoked with, you're probably going to continue to smoke. Like, on that one evening that you're kind of stressed, you go, "Well, I'll just have one puff." And as we all know, one puff leads to one cigarette leads to one pack leads to one carton, and pretty soon you're back smoking.

So, I think for me, I had to get really honest with what type of life that I wanted, what was the quality of a life I wanted. And what was so interesting is when I did quit smoking, I was bodybuilding at the time. And so I was very into physical fitness, but that was the one thing that I continued to do, which made no sense whatsoever. I look back on it now and it's like, “Well, that was kind of dumb.” But I've probably done a few dumb things in my life. You know, by the time you hit your seventies…

Jessi:

Oh yeah.

Kathleen:

…you make a few mistakes along the way.

Jessi:

You're living.

Kathleen:

Yeah.

Jessi:

That's common, too, is that people will be health focused. Everyone used to make fun of me because I would have–in college I would eat with my roommates–and I'd have a salad and a beer. They're like, "What are you doing?" I think that we're all full of those contradictions that make sense to us in our own fantasy world.

Kathleen:

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Jessi:

You can make anything make sense.

Kathleen:

It's so true because it's like, you know, you can look at behaviors today of people who say they want to live a healthy life and yet they do things that work against them. And so for me, what I've learned in my life is, I have to decide: what's the type of life I want. As I get older, I have to tell you, there's a lot of things that I do differently now that I really don't care if people make fun of me. Like being a vegan, for example. I know people make fun of me. I'm well aware of that. And it's like, “So you're making fun of compassion. That's interesting.” So for me, it's really looking at, what's the quality of life I want and what do I need to do in order to achieve that.

For example, I go on morning walks with my dogs. I have a couple of rescue dogs and they each get to go on at least a mile long walk. And so with that, if I was smoking, I wouldn't have as much energy. I wouldn't be as inclined to do that. So I think for me what I've learned is that it's determining quality of life and what's the reason I want that quality of life, and what do I need to do in order to get it and to not beat myself up if I'm not perfect.

But I do know there's a few behaviors that will never ever ever go back to what they were. One is drinking, drugs, that's a given. Smoking is another one. And eating animal products. I mean, there's certain things that I–in some ways I'm kind of rigid in my life, but that rigidity gives me a lot of freedom.

Jessi:

Yeah. I think that's so powerful to create the life you want for yourself. Then that can be very motivating rather than, “Oh you know, I have to do this out of fear or out of shame or guilt.” To actually align with the life you want and the things that bring you joy. It's cool because you don't really–like you were saying–you don't really need to wait for it to show up.

Kathleen:

Right.

Jessi:

You can start seeing it in your daily life when you're walking your dogs. So I'm curious more about that: what kind of benefits did you notice or just changes?

Kathleen:

One was seriously I didn't smell as much, and my ability to smell things was increased. But as far as perspiration it wasn't as stanky and my clothes–you know, like after a night of smoking, the next morning you'd pick up the clothes and go, “Oh my god, that stinks!” Well if it bothers us, and we're the smoker, it obviously will bother other people. What I also didn't realize was how acute my ability to smell would become, because now I'm very, very sensitive to the smell of smoke. I can tell if somebody's a smoker, no matter how much they try to cover it up.

Another thing is the money savings. I mean, it's amazing how we were–for me, I always was able to find the money for the cigarettes. And when I started adding up over a period of a year, how much would I save if I didn't smoke? And what I did is I actually rewarded myself. I'd buy something for my home or I'd buy something for my garden, and I would reward myself with the fact that I didn't spend–now, I don't even know how much it is for a pack of cigarettes–like $10 or something?

Jessi:

Oh yeah, they've gotten crazy.

Kathleen:

Yeah. I had an aunt that passed away about a year ago and she was in her late eighties and she continued to smoke and it was like, “Who am I to judge her?” Because she had had a stroke, she had had a heart attack, she had lung cancer and she continued to smoke. There were times that I would take her out to lunch and make sure that she was eating properly and everything and she would go, "Can you buy me a pack of cigarettes?" Now, if she was younger and healthier, I'd say, "Oh, hell no." But because she was old, there was nothing that was going to fix her health. It was like, "You know what? I'm going to do the most loving thing I can." And it's to give her the comfort that she needs because this was very shortly before she passed. And that was the only joy that she had in life, which is sad when somebody gets to the point where she couldn't walk. She was starting to lose her ability to speak, but smoking was the only thing that brought her pleasure.

And one of the things I learned, Jessi, is that with smoking, one of the things we're trying to do is take in life. We're trying to breathe in life. And we're stifling that by putting smoke on top of our lungs. And so for me, one of the habits that I developed early on was when I felt like having a cigarette, I would take a deep breath and I would breathe very deep and I would get into breathing exercises, which I found that to be very helpful.

And today, if I'm stressed over anything–which I don't get stressed about too much anymore in my life–but if I do find myself getting stressed, I go into breathing exercises. I do meditation. I do yoga. I do things that help me to get really in tune with my body and my psyche and my spirit.

Jessi:

Same. And that resonates with me so much that we can still get the things that we actually… People smoke because they get some kind of benefit out of it.

Kathleen:

Absolutely.

Jessi:

You know, as much as it’s like, “This is terrible; I am embarrassed about this thing. I don't want to do it.” You only do it because you want something. You're looking for something. And I think that we can take those benefits that we get–or at least we think we get–out of smoking, and still have them. Like: you still take breaks, you can still hang out with your friends, you can still breathe deep…

Kathleen:

Absolutely.

Jessi:

…you can still keep your hands busy. So I think that's really, really helpful for that awkward phase when you're like, “I don't know what to do with myself.” It's like, go back to the things that those patterns that actually calmed you about smoking, without the smoking.

Kathleen:

You know you're very correct on that. It was in 1994, I got certified in a neurolinguistics program (NLP). One of the things they taught us is that for every behavior that somebody has that they want to make changes around, there's a positive intention for why they have that behavior. It gives them something

Jessi:

Right.

Kathleen:

And the smoking, it can give you a feeling of connection with other people, because if there's a group of people that are all smoking together, they're all breathing together. And when you breathe with other people, you actually get more connected. And so there's some kind of a positive intention behind the smoking. And if we can identify what that positive intention is and find another–like you said–another avenue, or an outlet for that intention, then we can make the change.

And really, one of the things that I learned is that any behavior that I want to change, I have to want the new behavior more than I want to keep the old behavior. It's like in sobriety: I had to want to be sober much more than I wanted that drink. When I quit smoking, I had to want to be smoke free more than I wanted that one cigarette. And it's thinking it through also when people are making the decision to let go of smoking. It's thinking it through of like, “Why do you want to?” And before you pick up that cigarette, think it through. How are you going to feel after you have the cigarette? Is that going to trigger you so that you start smoking again? Are you going to beat yourself up? So it's really looking at, again, what's the quality of life that we want?

Jessi:

Yeah. And what I've seen keep coming up is that people kind of feel conflicted or torn between two sides of themselves, where part of them wants to quit and then part of them doesn't want to quit. So, did you have to face that?

Because I think people expect like, “Oh, there'll be this epiphany where I just don't want it at all anymore.” Was there an initial struggle with that just from the habit from so many years of going to that for various times in your day, emotional responses?

Kathleen:

Absolutely. I mean I tried hypnosis. I tried all sorts of things to let go of smoking. There was that part of me that wanted a certain quality of life and then that other part of me that was like, “Well, the heck with it. Screw it. I'm just going to have a cigarette and I'll quit tomorrow.” And tomorrow never comes.
Anything we want to change or anything we want to enhance in our life, we can start right now. We don't have to wait until Monday. We don't have to wait until the first of the month, the first of the year. And it's amazing how many people will say, "Okay, on the first of the year, I'm going to make X change,” whatever the change is going to be. And that's probably a guarantee that you're setting yourself up for failure, because when you've reached that point where you just say, "Enough is enough. I just can't do this anymore." And for me, it took being in a hospital bed on the Fourth of July to say, "What am I doing? This is not the life that I want." I would say that it's really looking at how your behaviors are conflicted with what you say you want.

Jessi:

Let's talk more about the emotional side, too. Can you compare to where you were at emotionally as a smoker and after, you know, smoking three packs a day to getting through that, and quitting, and what that feels like?

Kathleen:

Sounds crazy that you say that. (Laughs.) It's like three packs a day. It's like, whoa. I mean, that would be, let's say that I was doing it in today's dollar terms. That's $30 a day. That's nearly $1,000 a month. That's $12,000 a year. What can I do with $12,000, but–I forget your question.

Jessi:

Yeah, just imagining that.

Kathleen:

I got sidetracked with, “Boy, I was a heavy smoker!”

Jessi:

That's one of the heavier sides I've heard. That's a lot. So, I'm just wondering what your emotional state is different now, from being in that place where you're smoking pretty much all day to being free of that. How does that feel emotionally?

Kathleen:

It feels great. I mean, it's been thirty-one years since I've had a cigarette and honestly, I can't even imagine what it would be like to put that in my lungs. I just value my ability to breathe so much.
I guess, you know, having watched what happened during COVID with a lot of people getting challenges with their lungs. My mother passed away from pneumonia, my mother-in-law passed away from pneumonia and their inability to breathe. It's like, I want to do whatever I can to have that quality of life.

So, emotionally, I would say that I have a sense of freedom that I know I wouldn't have if I was smoking. I mean, it's really black and white for me. There's no gray area in there. So for me it's not even a consideration. It's like there's certain behaviors that you know once you cross that invisible line and you say, “I will never ever ever go back,” and people say, “Well, how can you be sure?” Because I know I can never, ever, ever go back.

It's like rules in a relationship. You set rules for yourself. I've been in a thirty-five year relationship, and to be in a relationship that long and enjoy the person, there's certain guidelines that you use and one is that you stay faithful to each other. You treat each other with respect. And it's the same with smoking, drinking, any kind of behavior that you're trying to change.

And so for me, the emotional side of it is: I feel like I have a freedom that I otherwise wouldn't. I can't even imagine being so bound to, oh my gosh, first thing in the morning, I literally would have cigarettes by my bedside and before I even got out of bed, I'd light up a cigarette. Last thing I did at night, I'd have a cigarette. I can't even imagine that anymore. That's not who I am.

And so it really is a part of your personality and it's a part of your identity. And so it's looking at: what do you need to change about your identity to become the person you want to become?

Jessi:

And so what was that for you? I heard you mention worth, that you have worth now. You value things within yourself so much now that–even just walking, those abilities–that you didn't before?

Kathleen:

Well, okay. Here's the big thing for me. As I get older and I look at people my age and I see the limitations a lot of people have; it's by the lifestyle choices they make, plain and simple. And so for me, I see life as such a gift that I want to be able to treat that gift with such love and care and have a quality of life. Like, I can go on a ten mile hike and not even bat an eye. I have that capability of doing it. I go to the gym about four days a week and I lift pretty heavy weights, because I know that's the best way to minimize my risk of osteoporosis, which is another thing with smoking. Smoking increases your risk of osteoporosis. A lot of people don't know that. You know, most people think about heart disease and things of that nature, but there's so many things that I wouldn't be able to do if I didn't make the lifestyle choices that I make on a daily basis. And now it's not even like a conscious choice. That's my identity; that's who I am.

Jessi:

Yeah, that's crazy that you can shift like that so much with your identity. I've really been noticing that myself, that I've been getting into the non-smoker, former smoker, identity. I just relate to people and connect with people that used to smoke so much. You know, I just feel like there's a confidence in knowing themselves, that they've been through that and come out the other side. Do you feel like that's changed the way that you see yourself? That you've been able to get sober, that you've been able to quit smoking? Do you see yourself as more capable or more resilient?

Kathleen:

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think I'm kind of cool, too.

Jessi:

Yeah, you are cool! You are cool. I agree.

Kathleen:

Thank you. So, what made you quit smoking? What was your catalyst to say, "Okay, enough is enough. I'm done."

Jessi:

Yeah, it was kind of a little bit slower for me. I don't know if I really had that rock bottom moment. I was definitely struggling health-wise. I was having a lot of surgeries on my mouth and was at risk of losing all my teeth.

Even still, I was smoking. But I was practicing quitting.

Kathleen:

M’hmm.

Jessi:

I was going days, weeks, months without and building that skill set to emotionally regulate, to handle stress, to keep myself occupied, just learning how to care for myself. And that was a longer process for me. And then, I don't know, everything just kind of lined up right where it's like, you know what, “I'm going to go for this. I'm ready.” Gave it a shot and stuck with it.

And it was really through a supportive community that I was able to find my footing–like you mentioned–meditation or yoga, those kind of groups, that kind of inner work is what really helped me stick with it, because I started paying attention to the thoughts I was having and was able to really link cravings to smoke with my self-talk. And so for me, once I changed the self-talk, then it was easy to quit smoking. Like, I didn't want to hurt myself when I was treating myself with respect and learning how to love myself. So that was really the big shift for me.

Yeah, it was a long process for me; I had to practice a long time. I smoked for fifteen years, and I would say I was actively trying to quit for the last five. I was only buying a pack at a time. Every pack was my last pack, until…

Kathleen:

You know what? I did the same thing. It was like, I was not going to buy a carton and it's like, “No, no, no.” And so I would do a pack at a time and then I found myself bumming cigarettes off of people and it's like, “Oh my gosh.”

But you know you mentioned your teeth and that's the thing with smoking. It affects so many different parts of our body that we don't even realize it. I mean, because again, the big focus for most people is the heart and the lungs. But when you look at it, it can affect the brain, it can affect the vision, it can affect your ability to smell. I mean, there's so many different aspects to the downside of smoking.

And I can't say that it was real black and white for me, to finally just say that's it. There were plenty of times that I tried to quit smoking, but I hadn't felt enough pain for me to make that decision until I laid in that hospital bed. And I seriously was there going, “I can't do this.” And I think that's when we finally–for me, my experience has been–with any change that I make, I literally am taken to my knees. I just can't. I need some help.

When we can reach that point of saying, “I need help,” and not try to do it on our own, because I think that's often times where people will miss the mark. They think they have to be so strong and do it themselves instead of calling a friend and saying, "Hey, I'm really feeling like having a cigarette.” And the friend talks us off the ledge, instead of somebody saying, "Oh, go ahead. One won't hurt you." You don't need those kind of friends. You need a support system. And that's why surrounding yourself with non-smokers or ex-smokers is a really good idea. And people who've been there, they've done that. They know what it feels like, because if somebody's never had the habit and the addiction of smoking and they're trying to coach you through it, I don't know how effective that's going to be.

Jessi:

Yeah, it's hard to relate. Definitely. I think that having the right people around really did help me because sometimes it's hard to see the good in ourselves. It's hard to see our own gifts and our own abilities.

So, you said that you've been in that relationship for thirty-five years. Were you able to get support from them with quitting? What did that look like for you?

Kathleen:

No, no. I actually quit before my spouse did.

Jessi:

Okay, yeah. Same. Same. (Laughs.)

Kathleen:

Yeah. Yeah. But now we're both non-smokers, so.

Jessi:

Nice. That's great.

Kathleen:

Yeah.

Jessi:

But it was really more the love that helped me. I had my relationship to help me learn how to love myself, because I had no idea how to do that. I was so lost in the race, getting external validation, and all these things outside of me, that I didn't know how to find what I needed within me.

Kathleen:

Right

Jessi:

Quitting, for me, really reactivated my intuition. I think you were talking about that, having that body connection and being able to feel when things aren't right, when this isn't good for me. I was wondering what that was like for you with your intuition. Did you notice any kind of change, like your trust in yourself and your understanding of yourself?

Kathleen:

Well, I feel most of us are very, very intuitive, but many people minimize their ability to be intuitive, or they don't trust their own thoughts. That's an interesting question and I don't really know the answer, because I know that developing my intuition is something I've been doing for years.
I had my first spiritual teacher when I was, I think, twenty-five. And she actually, as a child, her father used to hang out with Carl Jung, the psychologist. And she was from, I believe she was from Hungary.

Jessi:

Oh, wow.

Kathleen:

And anyway, she's in her nineties now, but as a child she actually was encouraged to develop her intuition. And she was my first spiritual teacher going way, way back.

I've done a lot of inner work where I've studied many different types of religions, many spiritual practices. I actually went to the Middle East and I lived on the West Bank for six months on a spiritual quest. I lived in Mexico and I used to go meditate on pyramids; it was crazy. So, I've done a lot to develop that internal guide.

It's so interesting because when I trust what I'm being guided to do, everything seems to just flow. When I get into my head and I try to take over with logic, oftentimes the logic gets me into trouble. So, it's not that I don't have a lot of logic because I'm very, very left-brain in a lot of ways.

But I'm also very, very spiritually driven in a lot of what I do in life, which presents its own challenges nowadays. There's so much going on in the world that if you're an empath–and I think giving up smoking allows you to be more of an empath–but when you start picking up a lot of what's going on in the world, it's really important to do things to protect your energy.

Jessi:

Oh, yeah.

Kathleen:

So, I don't know if that answered your question…

Jessi:

It does.

Kathleen:

…but that's my little spiritual lesson. (Laughs.)

Jessi:

No, I think it's beautifully said, and thank you so much for sharing that, because I feel like that's a really neglected side of quitting. It's that medical approach, when there’s so much going on spiritually…

Kathleen:

Right.

Jessi:

…that can help us and guide us through those tough times in the early days of quitting and after.

Kathleen:

Yeah. And it's interesting because in Twelve Step programs, especially in Alcoholics Anonymous, they say that the disease of alcoholism is a spiritual malady. And I would say that a lot of behaviors, where they're self-destructive behaviors, it's a spiritual malady. We're trying to find something to fill that hole inside. And so, it's just looking for other tools and resources that allow us to do that.

Jessi:

Absolutely. Yeah. So, thank you so much for sharing. Do you have any final words you want to say about smoking?

Kathleen:

Yeah, quit! (Laughs.)

No, I would say, if you're seriously thinking of becoming a non-smoker, to look at the reasons why, and to just think of how life will be different when you do, and to realize not everybody's going to support you in that. Whenever you make a positive change in your life, there's people that are saying, "Oh, yeah, we want you to make that change. That'll be great." And then you do and then they'll say, "Oh, you're no fun anymore. You don't go outside and take breaks with me anymore. You're being really snooty about it.” And so, just know what your big ‘why’ is, and surround yourself with people who will lift you up and support you in these positive changes because, seriously, life is really short.
And I have to say, as I've moved into my seventh decade, I'm looking at that going, wow, if I look at the average age–which I think I'm going to go beyond the average age– but if I look at that, I've only got a few years left. Am I doing everything to make each day a highly valued day? And that could mean, when I take my dogs on a walk, having a really good walk with my dogs. It doesn't mean that I have to go out and set the world on fire. It means: in this moment, am I giving it one hundred percent?

So I would say for the people thinking about it, find other people who have done it. Join some Facebook groups that are non-smoking groups. There's plenty of information out there and there are resources. Maybe start exercising, because that in itself, and every time you want to have a cigarette, go out and maybe take a five minute walk or go out and drink a glass of water and do something that breaks that behavior.

Jessi:

Yeah, that's great advice. So thank you so much for sharing your story. I think it's really amazing, just to have different perspectives. Every story is so important to help us figure out what's going to be the right fit for us.

Kathleen:

I appreciate you inviting me to share my story because honestly, I haven't given any thought to it for so long. And truly, if what I shared is going to impact somebody in a way that they're going to say, "Well, you know, I'll consider letting go." Because honestly, it's one of the biggest ball-and-chains that you'll ever have, to continue smoking. When you think about the cost, when you think about the planning of when you're going to get your cigarettes, when you think about taking that walk outside to take that break, instead of just taking the walk outside and taking a break and enjoying that.

Thank you again for inviting me because I can't even imagine being a smoker anymore. I mean, I haven't thought about it in years. And it just becomes a part of your identity to be a non-smoker.

Jessi:

Yes. It can be hard in the beginning, but it's so worth it.

Kathleen:

Yes. Oh, you know, I'm glad you said that: it's hard.

Jessi:

Yeah.

Kathleen:

It is hard. There's no two ways about it. It's hard, but once you make that decision and you keep thinking of the reasons why, it becomes easier and easier and easier.

Jessi:

Yes, that's so encouraging for anyone that's thinking about it, on the fence. Just take a step forward. How can our audience get in touch with you? Do you want to talk a little bit about any projects you're working on or the work that you do?

Kathleen:

You bet. Actually, if they'd like to go to veganvisibility.com, they'll see a lot of different things I do. And right now I'm working with somebody on a summit for animal sanctuaries, where we're going to be doing a summit, teaching animal sanctuaries how to raise funds, so that they have the support they need for the animals that come off of factory farms, that are abandoned by people. And these sanctuaries are different than rescues. Rescues, they rescue the animals and then they'll try to re-home them. With sanctuaries, that's where animals go for their forever home.

And so I have a summit coming up, and I've got a podcast. If you go to iTunes, it's called Plant Based Eating for Health. You'll get a lot of great information on how to look at what your eating patterns are that might be healthier and might be more compassionate. So, that's what I'm working on.

Jessi:

Yeah, that's amazing.

Kathleen:

Thank you.

Jessi:

I love animals and I just think that's really important work. All right. Well, thank you again.

Kathleen:

Thank you.

Jessi:

I've learned a lot, and appreciate you sharing your wisdom and your experience and so many great little tidbits in there for inspiration and for just practical advice. So, thank you so much for being here.
Kathleen:

You bet, Jessi. I appreciate it.

Jessi:

Okay, I'll see you guys next Tuesday, everyone. Take care.



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