What happens when you stop counting the days and stop rushing the quitting process? This is what worked for Sam, who was smoking up to two packs a day.

Sam followed his own intuition to a way out of smoking, one that unfolded naturally and with ease. Now, Sam hardly ever remembers that he was ever a smoker.

Enjoy Sam’s story here on the You Can Quit Smoking podcast.

Jessi:
Hey everyone, welcome back. I'm here today with Sam. Sam, can you introduce yourself?


Sam:
Hi. Yeah, I'm Sam Proof. I'm a content creator and a cat foster and a dad.


Jessi:
Right on. Well, thank you so much for being here today and I’d love to talk to you about your story. What's your story with smoking?


Sam:
Sure. So, my cat has just joined me.

I originally was very anti as a young kid. Both my parents smoked and I had a bunch of friends around me that did. And I think I took to it a lot later than most people do.

So, I was around 18 and going through a really bad breakup. I had a really close friend that every time I came over after some horrible thing had happened in the relationship would be like, "You want one?" And at one point I finally was like, "Yeah, okay, let's try this thing." So inadvertent peer pressure or whatever got me into the loop.

And from there it took off. I was about 18, I think, when I started. And you know, I don't do anything halfass. So I went straight into Chesterfield Kings, which for anyone who doesn't know is a full-size cigarette without a filter. So that part that would be filter, that was just more tobacco.


Jessi:
Wow.


Sam:
Yeah. And they're heavy. And I think at my height, I was smoking two packs a day of Chesterfield Kings. And really for me, a lot of what it was was just something to do with my hands and something to do in my spare time.

And I was back in Pennsylvania at the time and eventually ended up moving to California, getting involved in the film industry. And that's just what people did. It's like when there was a break. And with film, it's hurry up and wait for everything. Every department has to do their own things in their own order and in their own time.

So there's a lot of downtime and that's just time to go smoke. That is what people do. There's just, 30-40 people out there like, “Got to wait for the gaffer.”

And it was just a really hardcore habit at that point. All of my friends were smokers. At all of my jobs, a majority of people were smokers.

The thing that really initially turned it around for me was just like the rising cost. Back when I started, it was a dollar for a pack. And by the time I quit, especially in California, it was up around $5, if not more at that point. I don't even remember now.

And it was a thing that I sat down with at one point and was like, “This is crazy. The amount of money that I am spending on this habit is substantially insane.” And that was the breaking point, like the chink in the armor of like, “Maybe I need to figure something out.”

And I tried to quit several times. I just tried to quit cold turkey. And that did not work. It was maybe a few weeks, maybe a month, and then I was back full force going at it again. And I think I did that for maybe a year or two trying to just every few months be like, "No, this is it. I'm quitting for real. It's happening."

And what really took effect for me was…. I don't even know how I came to this formula, if you will. But I just one day was like, "You know what? Turkey was too hard. Not going to do that." I’d tried other brands that were like, the good, the light ones or whatever. And I was like, “These are disgusting. I can't do it.”

And I just made a point of, “Okay, I'm just not gonna smoke in my apartment. That's it. That's the caveat. I will just cut that out. And that's got to be at least a few cigarettes a day, right? If not a lot.” And that was it. For like a few months, I just didn't do that.

And then one day, I was like, "Hey, that worked. I was able to do that. I don't have that craving at home.” I wasn't even going out front to smoke. Like originally I was, But at some point I was just like, "No, this is the safe space of like I don't do it here."

I sat down with it and I went, "Well, here's where I smoke. I was smoking in my apartment, that's gone. I smoke in my car. I smoke at this cafe that all my friends and I hang out at and I smoke at work."

And you know, as any smoker, I think we all have one or two very vivid memories of that time that the cigarette falls out of your hand while driving and you're like, "Oh crap." And you almost die.


Jessi:
[laughter]


Sam:
And I went, "Okay, so that's the next logical step is let's not smoke in my car so that, you know, I have a car and don't crash it." [laughter] And I definitely had a cigarette burn or two in the driver's seat at that point already. And I was like, “If I ever wanted to resell this thing, it might not happen.” So I cut that out.

And now, half a year into all of that, I'd cut out both of those things. And I went, “Well, all right. So now it's just my job and the cafe.” And Hollywood jobs, every couple of months you're getting a new job anyway. So that just took care of itself. I had a new job and I was like, “I don't smoke at this job.” And then I just kind of stopped going to that cafe and that was it.

So like I was probably a year and a half to two years for that whole process to really take effect. And maybe a handful of times after that, I went to parties and other people were there smoking. And I would be like, "Yeah, let me have one of those." And at a certain point I did that and I was like, "Can I bum one?" And I was like, "Yeah, I'm not into this anymore, whatever this is. I don't do this anymore.”

One of the things I found was after a while I had been like the guy that quit smoking and people were like, "Well, how long has it been?" And I was like, "You know what? I don't count." That was the problem with I think the first few times that I tried was like, "I'm on day 36." And every time you do that, it just reinforces the memory of, “I am a smoker and this is just me on break for 36 days.”

Whereas that last final time, I was like, “I don't count it.” If you don't remind me that at some point between 18 and 30 something I smoked. I fully don't remember it. It's not a thought that comes to me anymore. Like it's rare. It's very rare.

I used to at the beginning have smoking dreams and I think in the last two decades I've had one. So for me it was very much sort of that weaning process and then not having whatever that AA thing is where you have days, you know, wherever you're tracking the progress. To me it was as detrimental as just putting it in your hand. So yeah, I think that was pretty much my process and what made it work for me.

Jessi:
Well, I'm glad you found something that worked and it seems like a really natural, easy evolution. That's interesting because I went cold turkey. I had trouble with moderation and so it wasn't the right fit for me. It took me a lot of times with cold turkey.

But I'm always impressed by people that wean. It just sounds so much easier with that withdrawal process too and all the emotional stuff and the associations and all that.

I love that you didn't count days because I also did not count days and I found that to be very very helpful. It created so much anxiety within me. I don't.. [laughter]


Sam:
Yeah. Yeah. I also don't have a great memory in the first place. So like [laughter] having to do be like I don't know it's 30,40 days. I don't know what it is anymore. Like why do I need to count that? [laughter]


Jessi:
Yeah. It's just nice to embrace the new life. Like, “This is the rest of my life I don't need to count.” So I think that's really cool because most people I know love to count days. But whatever works for you. That's why it's so unique and individual.

So I'm wondering with that weaning process then. Did you save the hardest one for last or just by that point that cafe wasn't even an emotional thing for you anymore?


Sam:
I mean, it definitely was because that was where all of my friends hung out, right? So, it was kind of like a bittersweet thing. And inadvertently, I did lose touch with some people because of that.

I mean, it was also just that's kind of where I was at my life where it was like, Things are changing. I am no longer a 20-year-old. I am moving on in a direction where I'm hopefully finding the path to my new family”. You know, wife and kids and all of that, which I'm at. I don't know if that was so clear in my head when I did it.

I think for me it was really the logical steps of like, “It makes the most sense to do the car second. The apartment was just like, “I think I can do other things here enough to keep myself busy. So it was an easy reach.”

Like I wasn't in my apartment that much because I was working so much that really the apartment was a place that I ate and slept and pretty much left. So that was an easy grab for me. It was like, “I'm not here that many hours.”

And then the car was like, "This makes the most sense because if this goes wrong again, I could really get hurt. This could cause an accident.” So yeah, the cafe being last was almost just happen stance.


Jessi at midroll:
We will get back to the conversation in just a moment.

If you are listening to today’s story and feeling a bit of that familiar tension in your own journey, I want to share a resource with you. We all know that a craving is just a temporary sensation, but when you are in the middle of it, that feeling can take up a lot of space.

I put together a free minicourse called How to Survive a Craving. It is a collection of the specific tools and mindset shifts I used to navigate those hard minutes and stay connected to my true desire to quit.

You can grab it for free at honoryourheart.net/craving so you have those tools ready for the next time you need them.

Now, let’s head back to today’s episode.


Jessi:
And it seems like the social aspect was really a huge part of smoking for you. So, it's kind of interesting that the two places that you were alone went first. And then the social ones were last on the list there. So, and even the way you started, you started by getting passed one and that social interaction.

Sam:
For sure.

Jessi:
You just said with getting older, your social situation changed. Did the way you feel about yourself change? Was there any association with coolness or fitting in or belonging?


Sam:
Oh, yeah. Oh, god yes. When I started, there was definitely a lot of the cool factor.

Also, it was the late '80s, early '90s, like cigarettes were cool at that point. Movies still very prominently had them featured. And you know, as you got into like the 2000s, when I eventually ended up quitting, there were a lot more laws being passed. There were a lot more taxes being applied and it was less in your face on TV and in movies and stuff like that.

Even just advertising was, I think, completely obliterated for that market. Like I think all the laws had been passed at that point that you just didn’t see cigarette ads at all really.

So yeah, the cool factor died down by the end of it for sure. When I got started, it was very much like, “This is what my friends are doing. This is a cool thing. I look cool doing it. I'm like a little dragon, right?” That was a big part of what got me into it in the first place, for sure.


Jessi:
And I'm wondering about the situation at work where you had that time where you're waiting, don't really know what to do, need to be around, but you're in downtime. So, how did you replace that element? What did you do with your downtime? How did you soothe that kind of tension with that situation?


Sam:
Whether I did it intentionally or not, I ended up taking a lot more off set jobs. So, I used to do a lot of production work that was in the field on the set. You're like actually doing the taping.

And I ended up getting a job as a transcriber. So, I was in an office. I was just typing all day. And I was on the 12th floor. So, if I even wanted to do that, I would have to go down the elevator out front. It was kind of in a crappy area in the city. And it just wasn't appealing.

Again, it kind of took care of itself because like it took that off the table. I was like, "This is an easy thing to do.” Because by the time I got down there and smoked one, my lunch was over.


Jessi:
Yep, the race.


Sam:
And I’d have to go back up. I thought, “I could do something else with this time."


Jessi:
Definitely. And you had mentioned that one of your motivations was to save money. Did that come to fruition? Did you see more gains financially?


Sam:
Yeah, I definitely ended up saving a lot of money. I'm not someone who had giant debt or anything like that. It wasn't like tens of thousands of dollars. I didn't have a big school tuition to pay off or anything like that. But I had accrued some amount of debt and I was able to bring it considerably down almost to zero just by like cutting out cigarettes for a few years. Like it was a lot.

I ended up putting that money that I ended up getting back essentially into other hobbies like content creation. So stuff like that: cameras and computers and things over the time.


Jessi:
Cool.


Sam:
So yeah, I think it was a way more productive use of the money.


Jessi:
Yeah, I don't know what happened to mine. I never noticed it. [laughter]


Sam:
Yeah, it's really not something I noticed at that time. Like if you had asked me back then, I probably would have been like, “I don't know.” But yeah, looking back now. It was something that I was able to use more wisely.


Jessi:
Yeah, it does add up.


Sam:
Absolutely.


Jessi:
Especially, you said that you were a two packs at one point.


Sam:
Yes.


Jessi:
What are some of the other gains that you've noticed? Maybe things you didn't expect, maybe something you did. What else did you notice from the difference between quitting?


Sam:
I think one of the biggest differences for me…. you know, so many people are like, "Oh yeah, I feel great. I can run a mile every day and I breathe and all these things and like there's all these health things." I never really noticed that.

I look back and I'm like, “I don't know if there's any big difference.” Because I think I'm as active as I was then. Of course, I was younger then, so maybe maybe me being as active as a 50-year-old then is a point in that direction.

But I never noticed like, “I can suddenly breathe things and smell new things.” I do recall there being a time where I was like, “I think things taste more now.” And that was about it. Things just tasted a little better.

But the thing that really kind of caught me off guard was after a few years when other people were smoking near me, I was like, "Oh, that is the worst thing I've ever smelled in my life. I hate that." I became so anti-cigarettes at that point that I was a little shocked. I was like, "Wow, how did I ever love that? It is so horrible now."


Jessi:
Right. Yeah. Did you have any self-consciousness about it when you were a smoker where you're like, "Oh, I stink." Or, you know, did you feel differently about yourself? I had a lot of shame, but I grew up in a different time where it was very stigmatized. So, I don't know if you had any of that.


Sam:
I feel like I had one or two girlfriends that maybe mentioned it a little bit. And that may have kind of eked its way into my subconscious, but it really wasn't that prominent of a thought to me.


Jessi:
Uhhuh. Yeah. It's just the norm.


Sam:
Yeah. I was like, “This is who I am. This is what I do.”


Jessi
Yep. Cool. So, is there anything else you want to share that comes to mind?


Sam:
It's tricky, you know. I think the biggest thing is that I was just ready. I got to that point where I was. Whether the motivation was financial or if it's health or whatever it is, that person just has to be at that point where they are ready.

If you tried to do it a few times and it hasn't worked, then you just need to approach it a different way, but you're at that point that you're ready.

But if you're doing it because somebody else is just trying to get you to do it. And you're like, “I feel like I should do this because I'm obligated because of this person”, it might not be right for you just yet.

And it's going to take whatever it's going to take. And don't beat yourself up about it because yeah, you're going to fail a few times at least. And I think that's the biggest thing is it's a consistency game. You’ve just got to keep trying to quit if that's really what you want. You just got to keep trying. Like you will get there.


Jessi:
Those are wise words. That was definitely my own experience. It took a lot of practice and I think for most of us it does, but it's well worth it, right?


Sam:
Yes. Yeah. I like that. Quitting takes practice. I think that's the slogan. That's good.


Jessi:
Well, how can people get in touch with you and do you want to talk more about your work?


Sam:
Sure. Yeah, I am a content creator. I do a bunch of work for UGC, which is user-generated content. So, brands will come to me to get videos done and things like that. Similar to like influencer content, except they post it and I don't. So, I don't have to have a big following. You can find me at samproof.tv. That's my website.

My family has been fostering cats for the last nine years. We just had our foster anniversary. We've fostered over 200 cats and kittens in the Los Angeles area. We have a focus on neonatal kittens, which are kittens under eight weeks old, bottle babies. And you can find out more about that. We have a 24/7 kitten cam on both Twitch and YouTube under @CuteAvalanche. So twitch.tv/cuteavalanche, which is our main channel, and you can see the kittens that we have.

I also host a geek debate podcast called Who Would Win Masters. Where every week we bring on a guest debater to debate on behalf of their favorite fictional character. We just did Kratos vs. He-Man and Speed Racer vs. Dom Toretto from Fast and Furious. It's a lot of fun. If you like movies and comic books and just geeky stuff and being like, “This guy could beat this guy”, that's the podcast for you.


Jessi:
Right on. That sounds like a lot of fun and that's wild with the kittens. I know that takes a lot of work. So, thank you for doing that.


Sam:
It is. Yeah. It's more rewarding than smoking. So, [laughter] yeah. So, quit smoking and go foster kittens, everyone.


Jessi:
Yeah. A lot more energy, a lot more time, a lot more to give.

Well, thank you so much for coming on here, for sharing your story, for offering some words of encouragement, advice. It really means a lot to people that are in it. Just that picture you painted that you're like, “I don't even think about this anymore.” It's so hard to imagine when you're smoking every day.


Sam:

When you’re in it. Yeah.


Jessi:
So, it's always great to hear stories like that. I think it really is what inspired me that I could quit. So, thank you for your time and your wisdom.


Sam:
Cool. Well, thank you for having me and congratulations on quitting yourself.


Jessi:
Right on. Keep celebrating.


Sam:
Yeah, definitely.


Jessi:
Take care, everyone. I'll see you next week.


End of Interview

Sam talked about how crucial weaning was to the ease he felt while quitting. Mercedes shares a similar journey.

She also quit slowly, cutting down while investing in her physical and emotional health through nutrition and yoga. She explains how she actually became a non-smoker before she even quit smoking.

Listen to Mercedes’ story on Episode 13 of You Can Quit Smoking.