Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:
Hey everyone, welcome back. I'm so happy I'm joined by Jenessa. She's a really awesome person.
And I can't wait to talk with you more. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Jenessa:
Hi, my name is Jenessa. I am a life coach and I'm a former smoker of 30 years. I've been smoke free for 3 years now.

Jessi:
Awesome. Well, really appreciate you being here today and go ahead and launch right into it. Tell us. What's your story with smoking?

Jenessa:
Okay. Well, I started when I was 14. I was 2 weeks into high school.
And I think my sister realized that there was no way she was going to be able to hide the fact that she smoked from me and therefore my parents would find out. And her quick-witted way of fixing that problem was to just put a cigarette in my hand so that I wouldn't go and run and tell mom and dad that she smoked.

I enjoyed the first little buzz that you get off the cigarette. And then by the time that buzz wears away, which is about 2 weeks in, I think, you're addicted. And I never got a buzz again after that. And I smoked for 30 years.

But it just was a part of my life for 30 years. I just always was a smoker from the time I was 14. I smoked about a half a pack a day. I was never healthy or I wasn't really fit. So I didn't care that I couldn't breathe or couldn't walk very far without breathing.

Nothing mattered to me. I was not a very happy person for most of my life until the last few years. So I went through a lot of trauma and smoking certainly helped me cope with that. I also became an alcoholic. Smoking and drinking just kind of went hand in hand, right?

Jessi:
Yeah. So, you took to it pretty quick then. How did you feel about yourself as a young person smoking? I know you mentioned that you didn't care much about your fitness and I can relate to that.

I kind of thought that healthy was not sexy and thought it was much more fun to like live fast, die young, that kind of mentality. What were your thoughts with it? Like how did you feel about yourself as a smoker?

Jenessa:
At 14, I didn't give a crap about my health. I cared that I was one of the cool kids who was smoking, and was accepted by the cool crowd because I was a smoker. But I'm 48 years old, so 14 was many years ago. And it was pretty common place to be a smoker as a teenager in those those years. I didn't care about my health until way later. And I just wanted to be accepted and fit in and so smoking was a way for me to do that.

Jessi:
Yeah. So it was part of your social connection, too.

Jenessa:
Yeah, definitely.

Jessi:
And so what started to change then as you got older?

Jenessa:
Well, I was 44 and I realized I had never been married. I had lived a pretty lonely existence. I had suddenly just needed to start caring about my health. Because I was 240 lbs and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone.

So, I finally said enough was enough. I wasn't going to live this way anymore. And I quit drinking. And I quit smoking 5 months after I quit drinking.

I wanted to quit both right away. I wanted to quit everything. I was done with everything. But my doctor was like, "Maybe just take it one at a time. Just not overwork your system." So yeah, I started with drinking and I quit drinking in July. And I quit smoking in November.

Jessi:
And had you tried to quit before then?

Jenessa:
I think I quit for a couple years in my 20s. But then I went on a 4-month backpacking trip to Europe and everybody smokes in Europe. I was hanging out and I just picked it up again really fast. I had never otherwise tried to quit.

When I was 44, I said, “Enough is enough.” And I just changed my whole life. I lost all the weight, got healthy. Now my new addiction is the gym, not cigarettes or alcohol.

Jessi:
Wow, that's incredible. So, how was it then? You said that you had them spaced four months apart. Still a pretty rapid change. Was that overwhelming to you? What did that feel like?

Jenessa:
It felt like a miracle to me, first of all, that I was able to quit drinking. Because I had for many years been miserable and didn't want to drink. But I had so much anxiety over the thought of trying to quit. Or not being able to quit. Or craving alcohol for the rest of my life. Cigarettes, too.

So yeah, I just felt like it one day. I just said, “Enough. I'm done.” And I stopped. And I poured the wine down the drain and the anxiety went with it. And I never wanted to drink again.

The first few weeks I was like, "Okay, you know, we're just changing our habits." I knew that I had to do it. I kind of had a lot of time ahead before I quit drinking alcohol to prepare myself for what I was going to go through. And I had gone through every excuse in my head and found a reason why not to listen to it. And so I quit. I just got used to the new way that I was.

And then the same thing with smoking. I was sitting at my desk. I'm like, "Okay, this is about the time that I would go for my first break cigarette of the day." And I'm like, "Okay, well, we're just going to change our focus onto something else then because we're not doing that anymore."

And it was really easy just to keep saying to myself, "Change your focus to something else. Don't think about it. Do whatever you have to do to think about something else until the thought of the cigarette craving goes away." I just did that for a few weeks.

And I think there were maybe three or four times where I got angry or frustrated and I was like, "Oh, I could use a cigarette right now." And there was one time that I was at my therapist and I felt that way. And I was like, “I could go buy a pack of cigarettes right now and just smoke one. I could just smoke one, right?”

And I was like, “No, I can't do that. If I get it, then I'll smoke more than one. And I've already gone 3 days.” So, like I think that was right at the beginning of not doing it. So, I just was like, “Do whatever I have to do to distract myself. So, I need to go home now from a therapist and then go back to work.” And I got through it.

Once I got through that first major one of where I was ready to go buy cigarettes and didn't, then I knew that I could keep not doing it. I just needed to keep focusing my attention elsewhere and that was it. Like within a month, I was not even thinking about cigarettes anymore. And still to this day, I don't think about them.

And if I get around somebody who smells like smoke, it's like the biggest disgustingness ever. And I don't think, “I want to.” I think, “How could I have smelled like this for so long? Like that's disgusting.” I didn't like it at all. So yeah, I got free by distraction.

Jessi:
Yeah, that's a great tactic. And I like how you pointed out too that you could build that confidence just by getting through a craving at a time. It's just like, "Wow, I did that. I can do it again." And that's a really strong approach obviously that you have gotten to where you are. You don't miss it. You can smell it and not be bothered by it. Well, not want one anyway.

I'm just kind of wondering more about the quitting process too. Did you use any kind of approach? Did you cold turkey, wean, use aides?

Jenessa:
I did cold turkey. But I did it with the buildup of where I knew this was coming. I set myself a date and I was like, "Okay, this is the date and like enjoy your last cigarettes now. This is going to be it." And so I was prepared. Like it wasn't just like one day that I like put it down and said, “No more.”

Well, I knew since when I quit drinking that I was going to quit smoking. I was 100% ready to quit both at the same time. Like after two weeks of not drinking, I was like, "I want to quit smoking." My doctor was like, "Not yet." I guess that was probably like four months in between that I was like, "Yeah, I'm going to quit smoking."

So when the day came, it was like, "Okay, this is it. We're doing it." I guess I had the confidence from quitting the alcohol. I knew I successfully now been 4 months without alcohol. I had the confidence that I could do it again. And I did.

Jessi:
What did that goodbye look like? Was there anger there at the cigarettes? Or were you able to thank it and kind of be grateful for it? Like what was kind of the feeling when you're like, "Okay, goodbye. I'm done with this."?

Jenessa:
I don't think there was any anger. I think there was just like, “Yeah, this is the end of this era of my life. I'm changing who I am, and the cigarettes are not a part of me anymore.” It was just like a decision to better myself, to be a better person. And not have all this negative stuff and all these addictions and stuff. And I just wanted to change.

And so, yeah, I was just like, “Okay, that's the last one. There goes the pack of cigarettes. Let's turn this way and start the new life.”

Jessi:
Sounds like a little bit of excitement, too.

Jenessa:
Yeah.

Jessi:
To move forward with that. And you had mentioned that you freed yourself. So can you talk more about that? What does that feel like now?

Jenessa:
Well, I've always been a person with a guilty conscience. So I knew that drinking was bad and I knew that smoking was bad. And so I always felt a level of guilt constantly because I was always smoking. Well I smoked probably a half a pack a day. So it wasn't that bad. But I was still, you know, smoking regularly.

So to be not a smoker anymore, not a drinker, it was so freeing. Because I didn't feel the guilt of doing something that I knew was bad for me. I knew it was bad. I knew it was not good for my health. It definitely felt like I'm finally doing good for myself. After so long of treating myself so horribly, I was finally doing good things for myself and my body. So it was very freeing.

Jessi:
And we had talked about this personally, but I'm curious if you'd like to talk more about your spiritual connection. And how that helped you with developing that sense of taking care of yourself and your connection with the divine.

Jenessa:
Yes. Okay. So I don't believe in religion but I do refer to the divine as God. And I think it's just a spiritual essence that is in all of us that is just energy that's intelligent.

Probably for a year before quitting drinking, I prayed to my God. I prayed, “God please help me. I want to stop. Help.” He did.

Like I've never heard of a story of anyone who quit drinking alcohol without any help. I didn't have any doctor's help. I didn't go to any AA meetings. I didn't do anything. And I never desired alcohol again. It's been almost four years. Never wanted it, never went running for it.

Like I know people in Alcoholics Anonymous that like 10-year chip people that say they had to run to a meeting because they were so wanting to drink so bad. And I have none of that. I have no feeling that.

My God set me completely free. I 100% attribute it to God. It is a miracle and I'm just very grateful every day. Not so much with the smoking because obviously the alcohol was the more dominant thing in my life. But I cried myself to sleep tears of joy for 6 months after I quit drinking because I was so happy that I was just free. I was free. There was not a day that I was like, “I need a drink.”

And I've been through some crappy things in these last four years. I've had some bad moments. I had my wallet stolen once. And I had my heart broken. Again still no desire to either drink or smoke when a really horrible thing happens and you think you want your crutch or whatever. No, I was free. Thank you God.

Jessi:
Beautiful. And what other gains have you noticed since quitting smoking in particular?

Jenessa:
Well, first of all, I can like run. I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without being out of breath. So, getting the capacity back in my lungs has been an amazing thing.

And being able to go on hikes. I love hiking. I love hiking. And I go hiking every weekend. I get out there and I'm like, “If I was a smoker, I would not last 5 minutes in these woods.” Like, there's no way I could have done it. Like, that's the physical aspect of getting my health back and being able to breathe is good.

And knowing that I don't stink all the time. I must have stank for 30 years. Like, the smell is on your clothes. It's on everything. And that felt good, too.

Jessi:
I'm wondering somebody that's in it, they're struggling. They want to quit. Maybe they're afraid to take that first step to try. like it's just something that they're thinking of but they're kind of afraid. What advice would you give to them?

Jenessa:
Picture what your life would look like without smoking and understand that if it's something that you desire, it's something that you have the capability of doing.

I never thought that I could quit. I really never thought I had it in me to quit alcohol or cigarettes. Like both are very addictive. And you do. If you can just convince your brain that you can, then you can.
That's one big lesson I've learned in my healing journey is that the beliefs that you hold in your brain can be changed. So the belief that you have that you don't think that you can do it can be changed.

You can change your thoughts. If you keep repetitively telling yourself, “I can do it. I know I can do it.” Then eventually you're going to convince yourself. And your brain will then think that way, “Yes, I can.”

At the beginning you're going to be like, “That sounds crazy. Absolutely. I know I can't do it.” Your other self is going to be like “No, there's no way.” Even though you're saying, “Yes, I can.””
But eventually after much repetition, your brain will be like, "Huh, yeah, we can do this. Okay." And then it just gets easy to do.

Jessi:
Yeah. That's wise words right there. Because that's very similar to my own experience. And it can be really helpful to find that motivation through the way we talk to ourselves.

And I'm wondering, can you talk to us more about your work and how people can get in touch with you?

Jenessa:
Yeah, you can find me on TikTok and Instagram. On TikTok it’s @jenessaharmony. On Instagram it’s @jenessa.harmony. And I'm just on there posting and helping people heal and finding their way back to their true selves.

Jessi:
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on here and sharing with us vulnerably and and what your story looked like and your journey. Because it's all so unique. And I just was really inspired when we talked and just appreciate you being willing to come on here and talk about it.

Because there can be a lot of guilt and you brought that up. And so just thanks for coming on and sharing yourself with us. I really appreciate it.

Jenessa:
No problem. I appreciate coming on. And I hope that I help inspire some other people to find their freedom from smoking.

Jessi:
Yes, it's medicine for someone out there. It always is. So, thank you so much and take care everyone. I'll see you next week.


End of Interview

Thank you so much for spending time with us today. I hope this episode reminded you that no matter how long you have been stuck, a new way of living is always possible.

I have some open coaching spots available right now for those who are ready to commit to their path of doing the inner work to quit smoking for good.

Head over to honoryourheart.net/application to apply now. I am looking forward to helping you move confidently forward.

Until next time, treat yourself with kindness and cherish the gifts of your heart.
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