Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:

Hey everyone, welcome back. I'm here today with Janie. So excited to be here with you. Can you introduce yourself to the audience Janie?

Janie:

Yes, my name is Janie Van Halen and I am here in Los Angeles.

Jessi:

Awesome. So, talk to us about smoking. What's your story with smoking?

Janie:

Okay. I was thinking about this earlier. I tried smoking for the first time in second grade. I stole a pack of cigarettes out of my parents' freezer because that's where they stored them. It was a pack of Marlboro Reds.

And I went to a friend's house. I remember being in like this junky car in their front yard. It's like a burnt out car. And we were sitting in there and we were pretending, I guess, to smoke. And we got caught.

And I remember going home and this was early '70s so corporal punishment was a thing back then. It wasn't just one thing that was going to happen. I got soap in the mouth. And if you're familiar with the razor strap, I had to put my hand on the table and got razor strapped for stealing. Now you would think that that would deter somebody from wanting to smoke again, but it didn't.

I started smoking at the age of 12. We had moved to Los Angeles. It was a whole different world coming from a very tiny town. I think that's where a lot of anxiety started.

So again, I was with a group of friends and grabbed a pack of cigarettes. We were in the laundry room of the apartment complex we lived in and started smoking. I remember turning green, throwing up. And again, you would think that would deter one from smoking. But man, nicotine, it's a very addictive drug.

And from that point on, yeah, I got sick a couple more times and just kept going. It was a social thing. It was an anxiety thing. Yeah. Just kept with it. And never really had a desire to quit. It was just something that was innately within me. That was part of my identity. That's what I did.

But I put parameters on myself though. I only smoked outside. I decided that I wouldn't smoke inside my house because I didn't want it to smell. I didn't smoke in my vehicles.
I dated people that smoked just to kind of keep it within the family, so to speak. My mom and my dad smoked.

I remember in junior high, a pack of cigarettes fell out of my purse and I got sent to the principal's office. I had to go in there and they were like, "Well, we're going to call your parents." And I'm like, "Go ahead. Go ahead and call my parents."

And my parents didn't want to be hypocritical, which is pretty funny. At the age of 12 just said, "Look, we let her smoke. We can't be hypocritical because we smoke." So, there was something about the parenting, you know.

Jessi:

Yeah. So, what do you think the appeal was at that young age? Did it relieve your anxiety or did you just kind of have that association with it?

Because you were saying like, "I was getting sick, but I still kept coming back.” What was driving you to come back? What were you looking for from it?"

Janie:

I think it was partially because everybody else I knew was smoking: kids, adults. And then it just became an addiction for sure. It was something to do if you were bored. You sit there and smoke a cigarette and talk to your friends and yeah, I don't know what else that was.

It was probably just being part of something, a group. And I think even though they say nicotine makes your anxiety worse. I don't know, somewhere in my mind it calmed me down. I guess it was just the act of doing something and not sitting there awkwardly.

Jessi:

Yeah. And I feel like that's from old school marketing. Like that stuff just persists where it's just like in our subconscious. We're like, "This helps with stress. This helps with anxiety. This helps me relax.” Things like that.

So totally understandable. Especially when you're young. And you're watching the people you look up to, the people that you know, do it as well. That's a part of my story as well.
How did it develop from there then? So it was allowed in the home and then did you continue to smoke through high school? Did things progress? Did they stay about the same?

Janie:

I think they stayed about the same. I don't think even in the height of smoking cigarettes, did it ever go into a pack a day territory. It was probably about half a pack a day.

Again, setting those parameters, not being able to smoke inside the house and not smoking in the vehicle and only outside. Obviously, at jobs, you can't smoke either. So, I kept it at about a half a pack for the longest time.

Until about 9-10 years ago. Now, I switched to vape. Back then, a certain doctor was like, "Yeah, vapes are better for you." So, we switched and the nicotine addiction became even worse.
Because now with vapes, you can smoke in the car, you can smoke in the house, you can smoke on an airplane, in the bathroom. Well, you used to be able to. You're not supposed to do that. You can pretty much smoke those anywhere, and I did. So, it became way worse.

Jessi:

How was that switch? Was it awkward to move from smoking to vaping? Or did you just pick it up like nothing?

Janie:

It was awkward for sure. It wasn't the same thing. You weren't getting that same feeling in your lungs. I started on, it was like a little electronic cigarette that really didn't give you the feeling of a hit. And then I graduated to this big thing. It was a giant battery with a whole cartridge of liquid and those definitely you can get big hits off of.

Jessi:

Did you notice any change healthwise from going to vaping like the doctor was suggesting?

Janie:

No, I didn't notice anything at the time that I switched to vape. There were a lot of different situations happening in my life.

My mom's husband became very ill and moved in with us and we were taking care of him. At the same time, my dad on the East Coast had a medical emergency. There's a lot of medical things going on all at the very same time and the stress level was beyond belief.

So, there wasn't time to think about me. But I can say for certain in those stressful times, I was constantly puffing on that vape as a way to cope.

Jessi:

Yeah. And did it affect your perception of yourself, your self-esteem in any way? I think you're putting that emotional connection there, which I definitely had as well.

How are you feeling about yourself as a smoker, as a vapor? Is it something that you just enjoyed and you're like, "This is helping me." Like, what was kind of the thought process with it?

Janie:

Mostly, it was habit. Again, it gave me something to do. It gave me something else to focus on besides all of the crazy that was happening in my life. I could just sit for a minute.

And ironically, it's really more about, I think, the breathing. Now that I go to yoga and I do meditation and you're deep breathing in and deep breathing out. It was probably more that that I was seeking than the actual nicotine and the smoke. But that's the way I found it.

Jessi:

100% relate to that. That's so empowering when you can notice that and still keep some of the things that were calming to you. But are able to let go of the nicotine. What changed where you were thinking you wanted to quit?

Janie:

There were a few times over the course of my life that I have either wanted to or tried to. A long time ago I was dating somebody. He was not a smoker. He definitely expressed how much it disgusted him. So I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna try this." And I would go a couple days and I'd be crawling out of my skin, really having a tough go of it. And I was like, "Forget it." I stopped dating him because I'm like, "I'm going to have my cigarettes."

This time around though, I got sick. I had a lingering combination of sinus infection. I had the flu, allergies. It was months. I couldn't breathe. Nasty cough. My lung capacity was really bad. Plus, I had COVID a couple times, too. So, it did a little damage there from the COVID.

And I was just laying in bed and I thought, "You know what? You better quit before you really start doing some serious damage." You know, you hear about even kids that vape only a couple times and they get the popcorn lung and that's irreversible. And as an athlete, I'm like, "Oh, no, no, no. I don't want that to happen."

So, when you're sick, you don't really have the motivation to do much anyways except lay there and sleep and drink some hot tea and hot soup. So, I did that. And when I finally started feeling better, it was the first week of feeling better without the vape that those same feelings of like crawling out of your skin and just the irritability. I didn't know what to do with myself.


Jessi at midroll:

We will get back to the conversation in just a moment.

If you are listening to today’s story and feeling a bit of that familiar tension in your own journey, I want to share a resource with you. We all know that a craving is just a temporary sensation, but when you are in the middle of it, that feeling can take up a lot of space.

I put together a free minicourse called How to Survive a Craving. It is a collection of the specific tools and mindset shifts I used to navigate those hard minutes and stay connected to my true desire to quit.

You can grab it for free at honoryourheart.net/craving so you have those tools ready for the next time you need them.

Now, let’s head back to today’s episode.


Janie:

I forced myself to go to the gym. I forced myself to still go to dance rehearsal. And thank God those people were very understanding. My dance partner is a saint.

After the first week though, it's very strange. I don't know what it was. But it was almost like a switch flipped and I didn't have cravings after that. And I don't know that that's usual. I hear that people struggle and obviously I've struggled in the past with it. I don't know what made it so different this time. But yeah, it was very interesting.

And I can smell people smoking. In fact, I love the smell of a freshly lit cigarette. I don't want the cigarette, but I really enjoy the smell. But only freshly lit. Not people that smell like stale smoke. Not that.

But no cravings. No desire. It's like I never even smoked before. Even though I know I smoked my entire life.

Jessi:

Do you think that was an identity shift? Just feel like, “That's not something I do anymore.” What's kind of going on there?

Janie:

I don't know. I really honestly don't know. I don't know how it all of a sudden became so easy. Like I said, I don't think that's usual. And I guess I was done. I was just done.

Jessi:

And you made that decision. There's a lot of power in that. I think that's an incredible switch.
I have heard people do it. It's kind of tough because it's like what's usual, you know? We all have our own way and our own timing. And the opportunities arise and people just take them. So, I'm glad that you were able to use that opportunity of sickness and go through that little bit of discomfort to get to something that was easy ultimately.

Janie:

Me, too. I'm really glad. And like I said, it's so hard to look back now and see myself as a smoker. It feels like it was never a part of my life. Yet I know absolutely it was. But it just doesn't come into this part of my life.

Jessi:

So, looking back a little bit, what changes have you seen then when you think about yourself as a smoker and where you're at now? What kind of gains have you gotten from quitting?

Janie:

Financial gains for sure. I mean, cigarettes are very expensive. So, I'm not buying those obviously or even the vape pieces or juice or anything. So, financially, yes, that's a savings.

Jessi:

Looking at the emotional piece, too. What's changed with that when you have stress? Has your stress level changed at all because of quitting or what does that look like? What does stress look like for you now?

Janie:

Stress is very manageable now. I do a lot of proactive things in order to handle stress in my life. Like I had mentioned, I definitely go to yoga. I work on meditation. I go to sound baths. I also do therapy with a clinical therapist to kind of manage everything that's happened in my life and how to go forward in a more positive way.

Jessi:

I'm curious about the timing of that. Did you start doing that work with self-care prior to quitting or did this all come after?

Janie:

All of this work started after I kind of had this big grouping of loss, right? And I was not good emotionally, mentally, and I knew I needed help.

It started with therapy. And then my therapist had suggested working on mindfulness and trying yoga and trying meditation. And previously, it wasn't something that my brain could handle. Because I was so disjointed in so many directions, trying to put out so many fires and take care of so many things. And obviously, by having those people pass, then those elements weren't there.

It took a while to learn how to calm down my nervous system and then be able to focus on me, how to heal myself. And eventually with that journey of self-healing also came, "Okay, now you're sick and it's time to kind of finish this journey of all healing. Physically, and emotionally.”

And that's kind of where I'm at right now. I don't say that I have control over my life because I learned very quickly you have no control over your life, anybody else's life. But thankfully, my life right now is very stable. I have a very small, great group of friends. I have my sister and my little dog. Everything is very, very chill and very zen, very mellow. And I think that also helps me stay on track.

Jessi:

That's kind of my thinking of it, too. I think that's beautiful that you were able to prioritize yourself out of that really tough situation and learn how to care for yourself more tenderly. And that ultimately led you to this path of not needing anything outside of you to feel all right. That's really what I see smoking as.

And then just to come back and figure out what you really need in life. And meet your needs in a way where, like you said, you're focusing on your breath, on your body. I just think that's really a neat journey and makes sense to me why you wouldn't have cravings because you've done that work.

But I'm wondering for someone that's in it, they're struggling. Maybe they've tried to quit. Maybe they're scared to even try to quit. They're just kind of stuck with it. They don't know what to do. They don't know where to start. What words of advice would you have for them?

Janie:

I think with any kind of addiction that one may experience….I don't want to say trading one addiction for another because that's not quite right. But for me, being very physically active and going to a gym and going to dance. And having other things that don't revolve around activities that I did when I was smoking kind of takes me out of the element and puts me in a different environment. And it changes the thought process a little bit.

So, it is a little bit about changing your habits and what you do and sometimes even who you associate with. Just really trying to find those things that take you out of it so you're not thinking about it. And look, I get cravings for sure, you know? I mean, I have a great sugar craving. That is for sure. So, I get it. It's not like I don't struggle with certain things. But yeah, out of sight, out of mind.

And I think, it’s about looking forward. You're never really supposed to look back. I mean, yes, you can review your life to some degree. But you're not supposed to live in the past. And when you're trying to look forward and see a healthier version of yourself, smoking is not usually part of that equation.

Once I make a decision, I just kind of go for it. And I think you have to have that discipline to just go for it. Sometimes people slip and great, you slip and just get back on it. Just get back on it.
And for me, working out has been the best. You can't smoke in a gym. You certainly don't want to smoke after you go to the gym. Well not anymore. But physicality for me is helpful.

Jessi:

That's all really great advice. Thank you. And I'm wondering how people can get in touch with you?

Janie:

So, I'm on Instagram under @JanieVanHalen. I'm on X. I think Instagram is the best way.

Jessi:

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story with us. And I just think that that's pretty amazing that you were able to turn that switch off after starting so young and really having a lot stacked against you. And I think that just shows the power of resilience and decision-making. So, thank you for coming on and sharing your story with us.

Janie:

Well, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that I was able to talk so freely and I really hope out of anybody who listens, if there's one person that is inspired to quit, I'll be really, really happy.

Jessi:

Yeah, your story is medicine for somebody. It always is. So, thank you. I really appreciate it.
Take care, everyone. See you next time.



End of Interview

I hope today's story inspired you as much as it did me. When we hear stories like this, it’s a powerful reminder that change is possible. If you're ready to start taking those steps for yourself, I'd love to help.

I’ve put together a free minicourse called How to Survive a Craving to help you access tools to get through temporary cravings and holdfast to your true desire to quit smoking. This course is the stuff I wish I knew when I was practicing quitting and I’ve put what worked for me in one place for you. You can grab your copy right now by visiting honoryourheart.net/craving

Until next time, remember to treat yourself with kindness and to cherish the gifts of your heart. I'll talk to you soon.​