Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:

Hey everyone, welcome back. I'm so excited to be joined by Julieta today. Thank you for being here. Julieta, can you introduce yourself to the audience?


Julieta:

Thank you for having me. My name is Julieta. Hi everyone.


I grew up in Mexico and I have been in the States for a little over 20 years. I am a flight attendant. I've been a flight attendant for 20 years. So, I've been living out of a suitcase for that long.


I have two kids and I have my own podcast about unschooling and world schooling.


Jessi:

Well, welcome. Thank you for being here again. And talk to us about smoking. What's your story with smoking?


Julieta:

Oh, man. I'm so happy you asked that question. It's something that I haven't really thought about for too long, within the last couple of years. But it brought a lot of memories.


So, I began smoking when I was in high school. Prior to that, my mom used to smoke, but I never really liked it. So, when I was in middle school, I didn't really like the smell or anything.


It was a different relationship with my mom. My childhood wasn't bad. My mom did the best that she could. But there were a few times where if I didn't do what my mom wanted me to do or something, my mom would use the… when you don't talk to the other person.


Jessi:

The silent treatment. Yeah, I know that one.


Julieta:

Yeah. The silent treatment. Thank you.


Yes. So, my mom would use the silent treatment. So, I think inherently I began to believe that I was not worthy of attention and that brought a lot of feelings.


So, when smoking came along, it was a way to belong into a group. So it was a way to stay in it because the silent treatment, the isolation that came from it, I haven't thought about it in a while. So what came from that, I knew what that felt like. So I knew I didn't want to do that.


And smoking was a way to stay in it. It was almost like a soothing and coping mechanism for me. So it was soothing for me to be part of a group to know that smoking would bring me into this group. And I just kind of went with it.
I smoked Marlboro Reds and I loved it. I actually did. But again, I go back to I think it was a soothing and coping mechanism for me. It was the happier place for me to be instead of the isolation and outside of the groups that inevitably they form in high school and stuff like that. So, it was definitely like a survival type of thing for me.


So I kept doing it. Then when I finished high school, I went to a law school in Mexico. Because you go straight into your profession type thing, you know, medical school, law school. So I did my first year and I kept smoking.


That was the highest point of my smoking adventure. I smoked two packs. I would finish two and then I would start my third. So I would smoke about two or three cigarettes from my third pack. And it was a lot. I remember having a smoking hangover at some point. You know when you just smoke so much that it's just like you just cannot even stand it in that moment.


So I kept doing it. Then I moved to the states and it was a little different though. Not everybody was a smoker where I moved to Michigan. So not everyone was a smoker but I still had the opportunity. We would smoke inside.



And I began in the airline industry in 2004 as a res agent because I speak Spanish and Portuguese and English. So, I was on the phone and I would always go on smoke breaks, but it was always a coping mechanism.


I would say, “If cigarettes were a man, I would be married to that man.” Please, I mean, I know how silly that sounds, but it was so soothing to me that it felt like a safe place to me. So, I just did that and I kept doing it.



In 2005, I was smoking. So, when I began my career as a flight attendant, I remember smoking in the catering trucks. So you would go to a place people would deplane and then catering would come to change the drinks and the carts and whatever.



And I would go in the trucks. I would ask the catering guy. I'm like, "Hey, can I have a cigarette in your truck?" And they would. They would let me smoke in there. But this is, like I said, was 2005. It's a little different.


I remember smoking in the hotels. Hotels still had a smoking floor, so you could have a room in that smoking floor. And I would wake up around 2:00 in the morning and I would have a cigarette. I mean, I still think… people ask me and I'm like, "Yep, I did it."


I would have a cigarette and then I would go back to bed. And thank God that nothing caught on fire at some point. When I think back, it was just so dangerous and stuff like that. But I just did it.


So, I kept doing it until I met my husband. We met in December 2005. We went on our date early January 2006. He said years later, "If I had known that you were a smoker, we would not be together."


Jessi:

Wow.


Julieta:

I know. I was like, "What do you mean?" So, when I went out with him, I didn't smoke because he said he didn't. So, I was just trying to be respectful of that. But then once we started dating…


Back then, some restaurants still had smoking sections. So, I would ask, I'm like, "Hey, can we sit in the smoking section?" And we did for a while. Late 2006 and 2007, we went to Bennigans when Bennigans still existed. Again, I feel like I'm dating myself here, but Bennigan's was still around. I said, "Can we stay in the smoking section?" And he said, "Can we not?"


And that was really the beginning for me to really think about quitting. Because right around the same time, hotels also started to move away from that. So, all the smoking floors were done. They started putting limitations on it.


So, whenever you would get out of the airport for a while, there were signs that would say, "Please smoke like 20 ft from the door." And right at the beginning of that stuff, everyone would look at you if you were a smoker. It was like a, “Get away from me” type of thing.


So again, I was going through the isolation of wanting to smoke because I was a smoker. Now that I'm thinking about it, it triggered something in me that I didn't want to be left out. I didn't want to be isolated.


But I truly loved it. I was never a smoker that would walk and smoke at the same time. Like I hated that because I really enjoyed my cigarette.


Like my favorite thing to do was to drive in my little Toyota Corolla with my window down just a little bit. And have a cigarette when I was driving to the airport at like 3:00 or 4 in the morning. There was no one on the road. It was just me, my little car, and my cigarette. And it was just such a peaceful moment for me. So, I just loved it, you know? It was so fun.


So, I started thinking about it because I didn't want to feel isolated. My husband didn't like it. He didn't like the smell. I think his sister for a while when they were teens, his sister would take his clothes. And the sister would return them with the smell of smoke. So it was also like a trigger thing for my husband, just a memory. And I was like, “It's okay.”


So I just started kind of thinking about it. Then one day I was like, “Yeah I think I'm done smoking in the states.” So whenever I would go back to Mexico I would smoke with my sister whenever we would sit down and have a chat. Like I just loved it.


So I would go back to Mexico and I would spend some time with my family. And it was just something that we did for like a barbecue late night, just kind of catching up. So we would smoke. So I would smoke in Mexico for however many days I was there and then when I would come back to the states I would just stop.


Jessi:

Was that difficult being able to pick it up and then let it go? It's something kind of uncommon.


At least in my own experience, I would never be able to be just like, “Oh just here.” I had a hard time setting boundaries with it.


So what would you have like physical withdrawals when you would come back to the states? Would you be moodier? Was there any noticeable difference after having smoked for a week or however long you were there?


Julieta:

I was a little more anxious. I would think about it because I love smoking with my sister like after a meal, with a coffee. Again, it was a soothing mechanism for me.


So it was always a peaceful experience for me to smoke. If I thought that I would be rushed finishing a cigarette, I wouldn't smoke. It was a good experience.


Except that sometimes when I was at the airport where I was short on time, I would try to catch as many cigarettes as I could. So I would literally smoke and 3/4 of the way I would light up the other one. I mean it was madness.


So I would feel a little more anxious. But then after that I would realize that the same experience that I had in Mexico with my sister was not going to be the same one in the states. Because nobody liked it. Nobody liked the smell of smoke at that point.


There were no restaurants where you could smoke. Even some of the ones that had outdoor space, they wouldn't let you. Everyone would just look at you.


And I really think it goes back to the silent treatment and feeling excluded to where smoking for me was not that important as to feel included in whatever experience I was doing. So it was the feeling of isolation, that experience was much stronger than my desire to smoke. So I really think that really helped to just not do it.


And I kept doing that for a long time actually. So I quit officially in 2007. But every time I went back I would do it. Until my son was born in 2014. He noticed after a few years. Yeah. He was like four or five. He would notice and he never saw me smoking at home. So after that I was just like, "Yeah, I think it's time." I just stopped.


I was very conscious that what I was seeking, that soothing, peaceful environment that I could get with something else. I couldn't just stop. I felt like I needed to trade it for something else. So it became a cup of tea. It became coffee in the morning.


I stopped drinking over a year ago but the coffee stays.


Jessi:

[laughter] Same.


Julieta:

[laughter] Like that stays for right now. So that stays. So yeah, it's been interesting how smoking was soothing for me.


Jessi:

I love that you brought that up: finding moments of peace, of relaxation in other ways. That's something I always recommend because it's very difficult to just deprive of yourself of those moments of being alone.


I mean, it seems like it was a social thing for you in the beginning. So that kind of turned when you're like, "No, it's just me in the car and my cigarette." Like sometimes we're busy with work and paying bills and doing all these things. It's nice to have that moment alone, too.


So, it's funny how smoking can fulfill all those needs and it gets really complex.


Julieta:

Yeah, it really is though. And I really never thought about why I started smoking untilI got your email about the questions. And then there's some things right now that I've been working on too as far as more awareness and how I feel around other people and stuff like that.


And it really brought me back to the reason, to pinpoint why smoking was helpful to me when it came to my life. Because it was replacing something that I didn't have. So I feel like if you find the root, as to like really go back to why we start smoking, it is something that it's given us something that we don't normally get in our daily life. And I was like, “Oh.” It was a big realization.


But quitting, I never used the patches or the gum or anything like that. It didn't feel like it would do to me. Same with drinking. I just stopped.


But also because I had almost like…I don't want to say psychotic break, but I felt really anxious. And I was like, "Yeah, I think this is it." But I had been thinking about it for about a year at that point, too.


I was like, "I cannot keep doing this to my body." Like I just knew that my body was like enough is enough. And I'm like, "Okay, I got it. I'm getting the memo here."



Jessi:

And you're talking about the drinking with that?


Julieta:

Yes, the drinking with that. That was really powerful. It came to me too. It just happened.


I felt like my body was having a some sort of like a breakdown almost. Like I was sweating. I was shaking. I was just like, “Enough is enough.” And my body was like, “Yeah you need to stop.” And I'm like, “Okay.” And that was that. I stopped. I didn't have to do anything else.


But yeah, it was the same thing for smoking.


Jessi:

Yeah. I was wondering more about that because you kind of painted it in a romantic light. And I know that we can enjoy it and savor it in ways.


But I'm wondering did you have any of the ill effects? You talked about having that cigarette hangover. But in the day-to-day of it, were you feeling a call from your body, a call from your intuition? Like, "Hey, this isn't good for us. Can you stop?"


Julieta:

I never really did actually. So back then, I'll say that my intuition was not something up until the last 5 years.


So 2020 was a huge change for me because it came, our family went through a huge transition into homeschooling. It was part of it that I had to do a lot of inner work at that point.


Because homeschooling was not the romantic version that most people think about. It didn't go like that for me. My kids were not listening to me. I was blaming them for that. I got lucky that some pieces, articles came to me whenever I needed them the most to point me inwards. So, I was trying to find stuff for my kids, but they're like, "No, you need to look inwards."


I was angry because my kids weren't doing what I wanted them to do. I was angry. And I knew that if I continued down that path, I was going to do more damage than if they went to school. So, I stopped and started looking inwards a lot.


So, prior to 2020, I wasn't really connected to my intuition or to my body. I feel like there were two different pieces. Every now and then, my intuition would pop. It helped me along the way in making decisions. Totally did. But not like that.


But there was one thing that kind of helped me at some point to stay with it. I didn't have withdrawals or anything like that because again I replaced one mechanism with the other. Because I was drinking coffee.


I gained weight totally because I got hungry. Before, whenever I got hungry I would smoke. The moment I stopped smoking, I gained weight. There was no doubt about it. So I was drinking coffee. I was eating. I was just doing a whole bunch of stuff.


But I had a biology class with an amazing professor who explained to the class about what happens to your body the moment you inhale the puff of the cigarette, like when you inhale it into your lungs.



Jessi at midroll:

We will get back to the conversation in just a moment.

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Now, let's head back to today's story.



Julieta:

Essentially, what happens, and I don't know the names of the organs or whatever, there is something in your body that gets shut down every time. It's like you're putting your body to sleep. It's like all groggy because you're given the smoke.


And then it takes the body again a couple of minutes to come back up to be like, "Okay, we're here to protect you." So, you're essentially turning off the defenses of your own body by smoking. And that kind of helped me a little bit to regain, “Okay, I did the right thing. It was okay.”


But then I heard another story from my husband whose aunt, they kept telling her to quit smoking. They kept just nagging at her like, "You need to stop. You need to stop." And she did. And then after like maybe two weeks later, she got sick. Big cancer sick.


Now I don't know but in my mind it's like later on…. I read smoking changes your chemistry like it changes how your body operates. So I feel that in my mind… and again I'm not a doctor. This is just my own mind. In my mind I think she smoked for so long like she quit and then she got sick. I felt like it was her body's way of like, “We don't know how to function. We don't know how to do this without smoking.” So I don't know, it is just complex.


But I experienced just little things here and there. But not to the withdrawals. I experienced more withdrawals from stopping drinking Coke, like you know?


Jessi:

[laughter] Oh yeah, that’s a rough one.


Julieta:

Yeah like I used to drink the big gulp from the 7-Eleven. Prior to the airline industry, I worked at a community center. And I would get a 7-Eleven big gulp of coke before going to work and a cigarette of course. It was my jam.


And when I stopped drinking the coke, I had massive headaches. I've never experienced something so painful as those headaches. But from smoking, it wasn't. It was more like me wanting to reach out to something.


But I wasn't excluded from social circles at that point because my job kept me away. I felt like it was just a softer way to mask the need for me to feel included. I was traveling all the time, so I didn't really need to belong to just one group of people. Like I was just with a lot of people.


I think that's why I didn't experience the withdrawals that would most likely have come if I had been in the same environment, same job, same people. People that could potentially still smoke around you. Like that would be a little difficult, I think, if I had experienced that.


Jessi:

Yeah, that makes sense with the story you're telling about just, “Hey, I did this to have friends and to fit in and have connection.” And when you don't have that anymore, it's just you. So, yeah, it's easier to let go of.


But that's really amazing that you didn't have withdrawals and any of that. That just goes to show how much of the habit is mental.


Julieta:

Yeah, it really is though.


Jessi:

And emotional.


Julieta:

Oh yeah, most definitely though. It is really interesting because when I stopped drinking, one of the things that I didn't do was to attend a friend's party because she had a party in another state, which that was a little harder for me.


Because I knew, I'm like, “I don't know if I'm ready to be able to say no.” Because it's a group of friends that I have, but prior to that, our connection had been through alcohol. And I know this is about smoking, but for some reason I can't stop relating the two.


Jessi:

Yeah. More recent.


Julieta:

But smoking was, I loved that I used to collect the Marlboro points.


Jessi:

Yeah.


Julieta:

Do you remember? Do you know about them?


Jessi:

The coupons, yeah.


Julieta:

You do?


Jessi:

I smoked Marlboro reds, too. So, yeah. I always wanted to go to the ranch. It was my dream. [laughter]



Julieta:

Yes. You know the cowboy and then they used to have this catalog. You know, if you had enough points. I have seen a passenger with the…


Jessi:

The duffle bag, yeah. [laugher]


Julieta:

Marlboro bag. Yes. And I've seen a passenger with the Marlboro jean jacket. And I'm like, "Oh, that's vintage, mister." And he's like, "Yeah."


So I still have affection for what it did for me really." Like I know it sounds terrible and I'm probably just sounding like a loony here. But it helped me when I needed it.


Jessi:

No, I think that makes a lot of sense if it's part of your story. And if you're in a place where you're happy, it was all part of getting to here. It couldn't be any other way.


Because I had a lot of regret. I had some side effects. I still do actually that are lingering. Like I have rosacea and gum disease and so I have these longlasting effects that have been like, “Man why did I make that choice?”


But my life wouldn't make any sense if I hadn't gone that route. So that's how I understand it.


Julieta:

How long did you spell for 15 years?


Julieta:

Okay. Yeah, roughly about the same I think. No, I guess it doesn't. It wasn't as long then. Wow. But I smoked a lot, you know.


So I smoked every day. From the airlines, I would go to Puerto Rico. Any international would have a duty-free. So your carton of cigarettes was less expensive. So I would buy the cartons and I would keep cartons of cigarettes in my refrigerator.


I may not have food. It probably never did because I'm not a great cook and I don't really enjoy it. But it always had cigarettes. Always. Like never fail.


So, I did have some gum discoloration at some point, but I don't know if it was from smoking, though. I don't know if it was from something else. And then it eventually just went away, which was interesting. I guess I never really thought about it.


Jessi:

It can have some pretty long-term effects that even after you quit, IBS can pop up. You're more likely for all sorts of microbiota changes. Like you said, it's changing your chemistry and your body. So, you know, some of that stuff comes up later. But I'm so glad I quit when I did it. Obviously, I felt so much better.


So, talk to us about some of the gains. You're talking about having all those packs. Did you feel freedom with that? Were you glad to get rid of the ash? If you had to pick like one gain that's really been significant to you, what gain would that be?


Julieta:

I think the gain was that I wasn't attached. I felt free for sure. Like, I think the freedom because I was planning my days or planning my trips around whether I could smoke a cigarette or not. Nowadays, airports are massive cities. So to even go out to the curb, it takes you like 30 minutes. Like no.


So I would plan my days or my trips around airports that I could smoke, hotels that I could smoke at or places. So I felt a sense of freedom. I was no longer working for the cigarette. It felt like I was doing that. So I was at someone else's mercy of my day. So I think that's probably the biggest gain.


The smell, it never really bothered me until lately. Maybe in the last year, it has really been strong. But I feel like a lot of people don't even smoke cigarettes anymore. I'm in Michigan, so pot is legal here. And most people, that's the smell that I'm like, "Oh my gosh, like I cannot.”


Everyone smokes pot and they drive smoking and all of that. And I'm like, "That's really dangerous." I'm like, "Cigarettes were a much better option."


Jessi:

[laughter]


Julieta:

But no one's listening to me. You know, the vaping too. Did you do that?


Jessi:

No, I've tried it a few times. It wasn't my thing.


Julieta:

So, I don't understand why. Like, cigarettes were much better. I don't know.


We did a couple of cigars when we went to Puerto Rico. Like, there was an art to doing the cigar and to wrapping the tobacco leaves and and all of that.


So, like I said, it was just more that it was good to me while it lasted. And I'm glad that I don't do it anymore. But it served .Definitely like you said, it's part of my story and it's an important one for sure.


Jessi:

So someone that's in it they're struggling to quit. Maybe they've gone back to it. Maybe they tried to quit and come back.


It doesn't really sound like you went through that yourself. You kind of just made that choice. So that's amazing. But someone like me, I had to quit. I don't even know how many times. 100 times to stick with it.


Maybe somebody that's thinking about quitting but they have doubts. They don't know what life will look like. What word of advice would you have for somebody that's in it? They're struggling. They want to quit.


Julieta:

The one thing that I always tell people is like you already know the answer. You already know the answer is to be open to listening to what your body and your intuition is telling you because it's already in you. You may be ready and that's okay. You may not be ready.


But start asking the questions as to why you smoke. It may be stress. If it's stress, what brings it on? Because that's what brought it to my mom.


When she smoked when I was a child, it was stress with my mom. It was stressful until this day. Actually, my mom still smokes. I don't smoke anymore, but my mom still does. My sister does as well. My dad used to smoke, too. And my dad was a functional alcoholic, so he was actually a nicer person when he smoked, too. So, you know, I have those various attachments to it for those reasons.


But start looking into why you started. Get into the nitty-gritty, into the details, because it's there. So behavior, whether it's smoking, whether it's going out for a run or whatever, behavior has a root. And once you find the root then you can probably manage to change the behavior.


But it's so embedded in us that it's really hard to see. Because it means that we are going to go back in time probably. And that's what most of my work is about. Its about wounds that we had in the past and they haven't healed before and you have to reopen them.


That's the reason why I'm like, “There's no reason to open them. Like I don't want to go back to that. Like why do I want to work through that?” Like, “No, but you do.” So just be kind to yourself because there's a reason why that's there.


And there's nothing wrong with you. If people don't like it, there is nothing absolutely wrong with you. If you want to change the behavior, doing the work, it's hard, but you will probably be happy that you did. And if you don't, then that's okay.


But that's your decision at that point. And we can only be responsible for our own decision making. Like we can't control other people. We can only control what we do.


So yeah, don't let the habit control you and just think about it and part ways with it. It's okay if you're ready. If you're not, then that's okay, too.


Jessi:

So many gems in there. Thank you.


Julieta:

Thank you.


Jessi:

I'd like to know more about your work. I really am interested as a mom. And can you talk to us about your podcast where they can find you?


Julieta:

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. So my podcast is the Unschooling Lifestyle. And our website is theunschoolinglifestyle.com. I started my podcast back in 2020.


Because as I said earlier, during covid we went into home education. And I had a very unique idea of what that looked like. And my children came with their beautiful selves and told me that my behavior was very much not acceptable.


Growing up in Mexico, I knew I had a different style of parenting. There was no such thing as conscious parenting. There's no such a thing as listening to children. You know, children should be seen. They should not be heard.


I knew what I needed to do to stay on the good side of my parents, especially my mom. Like I said, the silent treatment was her thing. So, I learned what to do to not get it. So, I had to adapt.


And when I became a mom, I had heard of conscious parenting, but I didn't really know what that was. And I wanted to do things differently, but again, I didn't know how. So home education really brought us to a point of no return in terms of you need to look inwards. That's what I did.


So I started to dig deep. I had been through therapy for years, like in and out all the time. But I started to do the work. In doing that, I realized that I wasn't alone.


And 2020 is a huge shift for home education. No matter where you are like micro schools popped up, educational pods, groups, homeschooling groups from different demographics started to happen. So it's huge. It continues to grow. It has tripled since before covid.


So I knew I wasn't alone and I wanted to tell people how important it was to feel as a person before you go into becoming a parent and then a teacher. So I wrote a lot about letting go. So I saw myself as a teacher and a parent. But then I realized that I couldn't be both. I had to be a parent first and then a teacher. So I have done a lot of work on that.


It's mostly in your child healing because it all goes back to childhood and your children. Whatever happens in childhood, it gets coded with adulthood experiences. So it's wrapped up. So when your child is not listening to you or they're not doing something, you're not reacting to what they're doing. You're reacting to something that happened in your life years before. They are just bringing awareness to those unresolved issues.


It's hard for people to see, “Well, my child is not listening.” I'm like, “The reason why we go from zero to 100 is because of unresolved issues.” And our kids, I call them our cosmic teachers because they are here to show us where the work is. It's just up to us whether we want to listen or not.


And so I started doing that. I do a lot of work about how to transition into home education. And that period, similar to when we quit smoking, you're letting go of something that is a big part of your life. So now your life is shifted, right? Because your friends may still smoke, but you don't do it anymore. So you're adapting to a new life without the cigarette.


When you go into home education, you're adapting to a new life without the school system and the rigidity of that system. So you have to redo your days. So that's really what I love about the transition because it's a very chaotic process that I feel like people don't often think about.


It's just like when you go from one system, the school, to homeschooling. Which curriculum is just school at home. And I mean I spent $10,000 when we first started in curriculum, that I no longer have and then I no longer use.


So you can find us on our podcast, our website and our YouTube channel that has videos and shorts. And then I do one-on-one work. But mostly I just put it out there because I wish I had that when I started. It would have saved me a whole bunch of tears.


Because I wasn't sure that I could keep doing it. I was in a bad place for sure. And I love to help people with that. That is one of my biggest passions.


Jessi:

I have great respect for that work because yeah, it is daunting as a parent to make all those choices. And try to be there as much as you can for your kid and have that balancing act of all these different roles and responsibilities. So, thank you for supporting parents with that.


Julieta:

Yeah, thank you. You know, the biggest learning is that we have to support ourselves before we can support our children. If we're running on empty. It's just not a good thing for anybody. For sure.


Jessi:

Yes. Thank you so much for coming on, sharing your story, sharing your knowledge and your wisdom. And I really appreciate your time and your willingness to be vulnerable and honest with us.


Julieta:

Thank you so much for having me. It was really a great thing. I love diving into these questions that you sent me because they were so needed today. Like they just came at a perfect timing and I love that so much. So, thank you so much for having me.


Jessi:

All right. Thank you. Take care everyone. See you next week.



End of Interview

Today's conversation really emphasized the power of intuition.

If you're ready to dive deeper into powerful emotional tools and start on your path to quitting smoking, I encourage you to check out my book, Honor Your Heart.

You can find purchase details at honoryourheart.net/book.

Thank you for spending this time with me.