Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:

Hey everyone, welcome back. I'm joined today by Marika. Marika, can you introduce yourself?


Marika:

Hi. Yeah, my name is Marika Therrien. I am an artist from Las Vegas. I also am a business coach helping people with nervous system regulation in creating an artistic life.


Jessi:

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here and let's just jump right into it. What's your story with smoking?


Marika:

I actually grew up in a family where smoking weed was very normal. My dad has grown my whole life. It was just normal.


And I'm immersed in a friend group where everybody was smoking. We go out to the river every day and it was like every 30 minutes a joint was getting passed around. And I loved it for so many of those years.


But I would say in the past like 2 or 3 years, it just hasn't felt the same in my body anymore. I noticed that every time I would smoke, I would have a thought in the back of my head that I was like, "Oh, this does not feel good." Or I'd be overwhelmed. Whatever symptom I was trying to cover up, it just wasn't working the same that it used to anymore.


And I, like many people, have tried to quit several times. And it never stuck. Or it lasted maybe a couple days, a couple weeks, and then I always went right back to it.


And finally, this is the time that I quit. And I don't crave it at all anymore. I haven't looked back. I don't even want to go back to the lifestyle. And I feel like there are a few things that I did differently this time that really allowed for that to stick in my life.


I think that the first thing that I want to touch on with quitting: this time I did a lot of nervous system regulation and introspection as to why I was smoking and what pattern I had in my life that I saw in other parts of my life that were very similar. And what I came upon...


So, I was a competitive gymnast for 11 years as a kid. From age 3 to age 14, I was in the gym 20 plus hours a week. It was my entire life. And kind of like smoking weed was my entire life for the last 10 years, right? And I noticed that the same pattern that I had when I was a child in in gymnastics, when I wanted to quit gymnastics. I stayed in it for about a year before I actually quit. And I actually broke my ankle twice before I quit. And I kept hurting myself.


And I realized that it was the same feeling of every time I went to go smoke. I felt like I was hurting myself, not continuing a passion anymore. And so when I did some reflecting on that, I realized it was this pattern of self-harm that I was stuck in where it was easier to sit in the pain than to step into something unknown. Because it was scarier to be in the unknown of what being sober or what not being a gymnast would look like. And so I continued to keep myself in this unhealthy habit.


And so when I took a second to recognize that pattern, I was able to be like, “Okay, how do I step into a new version of myself that honors her body as priority instead of pain as priority?” And that was the thing that really helped me step out of smoking.


And I think with that, everybody's pattern is going to look a little bit different, right? And so what worked for me may not be the exact thing that works for somebody else. But I think it's really important to look at what patterns you have in your life and where else they also replay. That first part of it was the recognition of the pattern.


The second part is prioritizing your body over the pattern, right? Which is the hardest part to do. The willpower that it takes to step out of that pattern is recognizing that the power is in you. Nobody can give you that power.


But the other thing that I really wanted to touch on, and I don't think that this is nearly talked about enough, especially for women, is the body chemistry that we have. Especially compared to men when it comes to smoking, it’s totally different.


And this kind of relates, I don't know if you've ever heard cold plunging is really good for men with ice baths and stuff. But for women, it's not quite as good. And I feel like smoking is kind of similar where we have hormonal cycles in our body compared to men that they don't have.


And I noticed specifically in my body that every time that I would smoke, my anxiety would rise and my cortisol and my blood sugar would also rise. So I actually wore a continuous glucose monitor on my arm for about 3 months in this transition of stopping smoking and making all of these changes in my life. And what I noticed is that every time that I smoked, my blood sugar would jolt up.


Jessi:

Interesting.


Marika:

And I was like, “Okay, I'm not eating.” It wasn't from the munchies of eating food and ingesting things. What was happening in my body was my cortisol, my stress hormone. Every time I would smoke, it would jolt up and I was feeling that anxiety in my body.


And what happens when your cortisol spikes is it dumps your glucose into your bloodstream so that you have energy to theoretically run from a tiger like we were cave men and women back in the day.


And so it was an app on my phone that I could look at my blood sugar throughout the day. I could physically start to correlate the symptoms that I was feeling in my body with what was going on in my environment, which happened to be smoking or eating or stressful days, whatever the case may be. And I thought it was so interesting how my blood sugar was spiking when I was smoking.


And this kind of relates back to fight or flight, being chronically in fight or flight and noticing high cortisol. Everybody talks about high cortisol, right? But I feel like we don't talk about the symptoms that high cortisol creates in your body, the chaos it creates.


And I was having autoimmune symptoms. I wasn't able to sleep at night. I was tossing and turning. I was chronically exhausted. Did not want to get out of bed. Did not have the energy to get up. The brain fog was unreal.


And so I started correlating, “Okay, I'm smoking in the morning because I'm nauseous in the morning. When I look at my blood sugar, it's elevated in the morning, but I haven't eaten yet. So that doesn't make sense.” And I started correlating all of these physical symptoms that I thought I was covering with weed.


But the cycle of smoking every day was actually creating those symptoms in my body. Like a light bulb just went off in my head. And I was like, "Oh my god, I'm doing this to myself."


And so when I first stopped smoking, the physical craving obviously was still there. The hand-to-mouth motion, that ritualistic breath that you take in was all still causing craving.


And so I did wean myself off with a 1:1 CBD-THC vape pen for about a month until I felt my tolerance level had lowered enough that I didn't have that body craving as much anymore. And then the vape pen ran out. You're faced with a decision, “Do I go to the dispensary and do I get another one or do I completely clear my house out and I stop the pattern?”


And that was the moment that I decided, “I'm going to choose to stop the pattern today and to not go back to it.” And I haven't looked back since.


And since that day, the morning nausea has gone away. I can fall asleep at night. I don't toss and turn anymore. I've been taking some really, really good supplements that have helped my body chemistry regulate itself better. That whole cycle for the last 5 plus years that I was in has completely vanished.


And I just cannot believe it. And I'm so passionate about this now because you don't realize it until you get out of it what you were doing to yourself.


I also want to touch on the pride that you feel every day when you realize you've stepped out of the pattern. How clean I feel. Not just like my home and not having ash scattered around, but my body feels clean. And that pride that I feel and the transformation that I've seen in myself.


And not just myself, but the text that I got from my mom last week saying that I inspired her to stop smoking. You know, the phone call with my dad about how he's so proud of me and how he's trying to work on it himself, too.


The butterfly effect of the decisions that you make when you transform your life and what happens to the people around you. It's so beautiful and it really gives you more energy to keep on this path and to keep healing your body. And doing what you can to become a better person every day.


So, that's a bit of the journey that I've had with smoking and coming off of it. But, yeah, it's been a really beautiful experience so far.


Jessi:

That's so amazing. I love how you pointed out too that a lot of the gains that we get, we don't even expect. And there it's like a surprise how great it can be.


Because I feel like when I was in it, it was hard to imagine ever being happy without it. I don't know if you had that feeling yourself.


Marika:

Yeah. Especially when it comes to socially when all of the people around you also smoke. It's just like the thing that happens in your friend group. I was really worried that I was going to feel left out.


And you know, I think there was a little bit of feeling left out. But there was also the pride of, “You know what? I'm choosing myself over this right now. And you know what? Maybe it'll inspire them too if they feel called to it as well.”


So yeah, I think that the social aspect of it is huge. But the pride of feeling stronger than the social aspect is even better.


Jessi at midroll:

Before we get back to the rest of the story, I want to speak to the pregnant moms listening. If you are navigating the stress of pregnancy while trying to stay smoke-free, please know you don’t have to do it alone. I created The Heart Within Sponsorship as a completely free, safe space for you to find emotional resources and community support. You can join us today by visiting honoryourheart.net. Now, let's get back to today's show.


Jessi:

And you get to be that leader for other people in ways you don't expect as well. So, that's amazing.


And I just really love your story. I love the curiosity you had. It was kind of like your science experiment. Like, “Let's see. Let's observe.” Not only with the numbers, like with your chemistry, with your physical symptoms, but also with your psychological patterns and your emotional patterns.


Going back to what I was talking about, like you don't realize what you'll gain until you get to the other side. Did you even realize how much pain you were in at the time? You were said that you were feeling a lot of discomfort, but…


Marika:

You know, I think sometimes we become really comfortable with how uncomfortable it is and we forget how good it can be. And until you feel how good you can be without it, sometimes you don't realize how much pain you're in. It just becomes normal.


Jessi:

You know, you were talking about that broken ankle and comparing it to that. It's like kind of almost easier with the ankle than the everyday of it when you're just used to feeling that way.


For me, I'm a person that struggles with this still. Even though I've become aware of it, I've pushed through pain. I ignore pain. And I learned that really young. Like, “We never show pain.” And so, it's something that I am able to accept and push through.


And that was a huge part of my smoking. I was ignoring the pain I was in. Even though my poor body is like, “Help!” You know? So, and it's really cool that you were able to listen to that message and follow that thread and find a way out with it.


Marika:

I mean, as a gymnast, you're told to “Walk it off.”


Jessi:

Wow.


Marika:

You know what I mean? Like, you walk on the pain. And so that was also something that I really had to work through was like honoring the pain and recognizing that the pain is there for a reason and to start listening to it.


And something I talk about a lot of the time is changing our environment, whether that be external environment or internal environment. Anxiety is a reflection of something in your environment not being right for you, right?


And so I look to human design. It is a huge factor that I look to for helping find my ideal environment whether it's a place a type of work, how I'm working or where I'm working, things like that.


And honoring I'm not built like everybody else. I'm not built to have a boss. So I became an entrepreneur. And I'm super happy and successful doing it that way.


But honoring like you don't have to be like everybody else. You don't have to work like everybody else. You don't have to live like everybody else. The way that you're meant to do it is totally okay. And to stop shaming yourself for that and guilting yourself.


If I want to build a lifestyle that I can sleep in without an alarm every day, I'm going to do it. You know what I mean? And to stop shaming myself for liking sleeping in or working at night, whatever the case may be.


Jessi:

You know, that's such a good point, too. Because I found that I was putting so much pressure on myself to be someone I wasn't. That was a huge part of my smoking cycle was to suppress the unhappiness that I was manifesting essentially.


So, I'm just kind of wondering if that was something for you. Were you able to change that environment to get in a place where you just didn't need smoking?


Marika:

Yeah, I think that I had already built the business for myself. I built a six-figure art business while smoking every day. I'm not saying it's not possible, you know what I mean?


But I was also the unhealthiest I had been every day while I was doing that. And so, I kind of had to break it all down to build it all back up in a way that did support myself for those health goals, those lifestyle goals that I really was seeking for myself.


And so I think that changing your environment. And even if parts of it work for you, there's always something that you can tweak to make it better for yourself, healthier for yourself, and more unique for your path, you know?


Jessi:

Yeah. And what you're pointing out there too is sometimes it seems like you're succeeding. And that's why it can be so tricky. Because you feel like, “Hey, I'm doing good. It must be fine.” Did you kind of have that self-talk with it?


Marika:

And that fear of losing the success if you were to stop. “This is working for me. Why would I stop it?” Living in that fear is only going to get you so far. But what if stopping smoking is the thing that catapults you into that next level? And it catapults you into a level that's actually sustainable in your body where you're not seeking outside of yourself for regulation every day.


And I think that's the most important part of this process and this healing process is finding that self-regulation, the power in you that you have the ability to control your destiny.


Jessi:

Absolutely. Was smoking part of your art? I've heard that often.


Marika:

No, I don't think it was necessarily part of my art. It was just more of my lifestyle. So, my COVID hobby actually became my full-time job.


Jessi:

Wow.


Marika:

And so, I think that I didn’t smoke to become more creative. I think I always smoked mainly to regulate my body. Because I felt nauseous. I didn't feel good. I was bored.


Boredom was a big one. Okay. I feel like if I didn't have something to create with my hands, the boredom would have overtaken me.


Having a purpose, a passion, something to keep your hands busy is so important when you're quitting. Because if you're just stuck in your own head staring at a TV screen, you're probably going to pick up smoking again. You have to have something to distract that physical aspect of it really to step through it in my opinion.


Jessi:

Definitely. And so, what tools do you have now to regulate, just one or two?


Marika:

Yeah. So, EFT tapping is probably my favorite tool. This is actually what I teach in my school.


EFT tapping is a combination of tapping on acupuncture points around your body, so different meridian lines, with talk therapy. So, it activates not just your left brain, but your right brain at the same time. So, as you're talking truths or limiting beliefs that you're trying to release, it's activating your body, too, to release the energy from your body.


And this has been my favorite tool to release the physical symptoms of stored trauma, anxiety, depression. It's great for PTSD, those stored physical symptoms. I'll give you an example.


When I was at my peak of anxiety and depression, I was so nauseous and sick to my stomach every single day. I could barely eat. I could barely keep water down. And at my first EFT session with a life coach. She asked me how I felt afterwards. And it was the first time I felt hunger in almost 2 months.


And so, it's a somatic tool. It's one of my favorite somatic tools to try to level the stress out in your body. So that you can get those hunger cues.


It actually is shown to lower cortisol by about 24% which is huge. And it only takes 5 to 10 minutes throughout your day. It's such a small practice that has such a massive impact.
And so I do a daily EFT tapping and that is something that has been like my favorite tool throughout this.


And then just good supplements, things that regulate that body chemistry so that that craving, that nausea, the tossing and turning at night, all of those symptoms in my body, we're starting to regulate.


I’m not just like trying to power through them because I'm known to power through them. Kind of like we talked about, walking in the pain. Same thing. We don't have to sit in the pain. We can do things to level out that pain.


Jessi:

So, it sounds like you turned to self-care.


Marika:

Yes, very much so.


Jessi:

Thank you so much. I think there's a lot to chew on there. And I'm just so happy for you that you've made it through the other side and seen all these gains and it's just rippling out in so many ways in your life, both expected and unexpected.


And I'm wondering if someone's in it right now, they're struggling. Maybe they've tried to quit but come back, they're in that yo-yo cycle. What words of advice would you give them?


Marika:

I would say that doing that deep inner work of revealing the pattern that's leading you to stay in the pain is probably the number one thing that I would recommend. And then on top of that, I think that this relates back to trauma, too.


If you've been in scenarios where your power was taken from you, whether it be sexual assault, domestic violence, trauma in general. Looking at those situations where you felt your power was taken from you and taking that power back. And realizing that those experiences are probably also contributing to the pattern that you're currently in of giving your power to the weed or to the cigarette to whatever you're smoking.


And so taking that power back and knowing it's always been inside of you and that you always have the power to change. No matter how deep into it you are, you always have the power to come out of it and to become a better person every day.


And the other thing that I want to mention is I can't tell you how many times I went to the doctor. And I was told, “That just happens to women sometimes.” No, that doesn't just happen to women sometimes.


And so my decision to get the glucose monitor didn't need insurance. You can go online and get that yourself right now.. Take the power into your own hands to get curious about what's going on inside of your body. And when you're curious and when you are able to recognize the pattern, you can change it.


Jessi:

Beautiful. I just love how well said that is. Thank you. It's really solid advice and it's about power. Irreplaceable.


Marika:

It is irreplaceable. And you are irreplaceable.


Jessi:

Yes! We need you. We need you in your power. It helps all of us.


Marika:

100 percent.


Jessi:

So talk to us more about your work. I'm really curious.


Marika:

I started, like I said, my COVID hobby was the thing that I turned into my full-time job. I'm a flower preservation artist. So, I preserve flowers into purses and lamps and jewelry and pretty much anything that you can think of.


What I learned in that process of becoming a full-time artist is what led me to write my first book called The Undiagnosed Artist. And similar to how we talked about constantly being undiagnosed by doctors and being told that happens to women sometimes and just being dismissed, I feel like we do that in our careers too sometimes.


How when you're growing up and you're creative. And you let go of that creativity to seek a job that is stable or something that people look up to or that your parents tell you you should do. You're waiting to be diagnosed or told what to do instead of just seeking the thing that you love to do from the jump.


You can make anything a job in this world. You truly can. And so, it's another part of stepping into your power is just honoring that you can do whatever you want in your life and make it happen for yourself. So, that's where I started my second business.


So, I wrote the book. And then I started Alive in Her Body, which is just everything that we've talked about today: the nervous system regulation, stepping into your power, and finding that inner artist within you that you maybe said goodbye to.


Because I didn't step into artistry until I was 27. I completely forgot about it for most of my life until COVID happened. The world shut down, and I had nothing but a bunch of art supplies in my house. And so, just think it's really important for people to find that inner artist again, to find that creativity.


Something I relate this to is a Japanese concept of ikagai, which is finding something that you're good at, something that you love to do, something that the world needs, and something that you can make money from. And when you combine those four categories, you find your purpose in life, your reason for being.


And I think that's what life's about, right? It's not about sitting at a desk for a 9 to 5 all day, doing something that you hate doing. It's about living your life and having purpose and passion in life.


And being able to drive out to the desert on Tuesday at 2 p.m. because you feel like it, you know? And so I really just want to help people build a life that sustains their true purpose and passions in life.


Jessi:

Well, I value that work. Thank you so much for that. Because yeah, it's too easy to follow someone else's game plan.


Marika:

Totally.


Jessi:

And ignore those sides of us that were shut down or we lost access to. So, would you say that intuition has played a role in developing this new career?


Marika:

Oh, totally. I mean, intuition is a tough one because sometimes you're like, do I trust my gut? Do I trust my head? There's so much logic in this, right?


And I think that men and women live very differently. And so, as a woman, trusting your intuition maybe means not trusting the logic as much and trusting that gut feeling. But for men, it might look a little bit differently. They like the logic. They lead by logic.


And so, what works for one person may not work for the other person. But I found in my life that every time I lead with logic, I get myself in trouble. I think human design plays into that as well.


Like even as a woman, what works for me may not work for you. And so honoring your human design and if you're a more logical thinker, honoring that instead of doing what I do because it's my design. This is all about you, right? And honoring what's best for you.


I think exploring who you are and what works best for you. And just saying, “You know what? This is the way I want to do it and that's the way it is”.


Jessi:

And that's how you do your work, right? It’s tailored to the person?


Marika:

Yes. Exactly. So, when I first started coaching, I used to teach it like I do it. And I realized that that doesn't work for everybody because you're not me, right?


And so, I broke it all down and built it all back up based off of human design. And building it how your body is supposed to handle it, how your nervous system is supposed to handle it, and through your experiences.


I've never lived your life and I don't know what your purpose and what your passion is. Only you know that.


Jessi:

Well, thank you. Very well said. And thank you so much for coming on here and sharing vulnerability and opening up.


I really have a lot of respect for that. I've seen you talking about it on your social media and I'm just like, “Wow.” I really appreciate that bravery because it's something that a lot of us hide in the shadows or just want to forget.


And I think that talking about it brings a lot of healing to others as you've seen from those in your life. So thank you so much.


Marika:

Grateful to be here and grateful that you found me.


Jessi:

Me too. All right everyone take care. See you next week.




End of Interview


Before we go, if you are a pregnant mom who is currently struggling with smoking I want you to know about a completely free, supportive resource I created just for you: The Heart Within Sponsorship. This community is a safe space to navigate the stress of pregnancy while maintaining a smoke-free journey. It offers emotional resources and connects you with other moms who understand what you're going through. You don't have to do this alone. Find out more and join this free community today at www.honoryourheart.net. I'll see you in the next episode.