Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:

Hey everyone, welcome back. I'm here with Meridee Hlokoff. Meridee, can you please introduce yourself?


Meridee:

Hi everyone. I am a coach, a spiritual guide, and a healer who is dedicated to helping people break free from their addictions, release emotional blocks, and live as authentically as they can while I try to do the same.


Jessi:

Amen to that. Right there with you. Give us a rundown of what was smoking like for you. What's your story with smoking?


Meridee:

As a smoker, I was the person who used it to cope with everything essentially. It wasn't until I quit that I really started to realize what I actually was using it for and how I used it. And a lot of women are very emotionally attached to their cigarettes and I very much was.

You know, like my parents were smokers and children learn what they live. So for me, I literally was like, "Oh, my parents smoke. I'm going to smoke." And then when it was a no-no, you better believe that I was like, "Oh, you better watch me." It was my two middle fingers to my parents when things were difficult or when I was told “No, you can't.” My mom was quite abusive. My dad wasn't around a ton. When my mom would get crazy, I would go sit in my room and smoke my brains out. And I would explain to the people that I work with, I understand when you feel like you're sitting outside in a puddle, you've still got your cigarette and you can middle finger the whole world. The problem is that cigarette was killing me, right?

There's this whole story about how it takes 7 minutes off your life for every cigarette you smoke. We don't know how long our life is, so I don't know that that's a true statement so much. But I was killing myself. It is a class one carcinogen. It is one of the leading reasons for lung cancer, for heart disease, for plaque in your arteries. Like so many bad things come from smoking and yet we all still sit and do them. So it doesn't really make sense as to what we're doing or why we're doing it. And yet we continue to do it.

For me, I had two kids. I was raising them by myself and I was broke. And so somehow I still managed to buy cigarettes. Even if that meant budgeting my paychecks so that when I got my groceries, I would get extra mac and cheese. Not that it was healthy, but the kids liked it. So I'd get that so that I could still buy my cigarettes. The time when I quit smoking, cigarettes were only $6.45 a pack. So this was a while ago. But it controlled my whole life. Everything I did, I couldn't travel without it. I was anxious. And then when I didn't have it, I was a jerk. I was impatient. I see it these days like people get on the plane and their patience is super thin. They just don't have it in them to be nice to people and it's because they're going through withdrawals because they're used to smoking. And I had to look at myself and looking at myself was probably the hardest part.


Jessi:

Definitely. You're describing some of the drawbacks you were experiencing. What convinced you to ultimately quit? What was that final decision making process like for you?


Meridee:

I like expensive perfumes. I love the way they smell. I find cheap perfumes are just that. They're cheap. They don't last very long. All of that stuff. And so, you know, broke, but I would find money and buy $150 bottle of perfume. Well, when you smoke a cigarette, now you just smell like a wet ashtray and your $150 perfume. I mean, I quit smoking when I got pregnant with my kids. I stayed quit because my kids are actually only 15 months apart. So, I just stayed quit from before I got pregnant until I went through my divorce. When I was going through my divorce, it was the stress. And I had no other coping mechanisms. So, I ended up going straight back to smoking.

And then I was dating a really lovely guy and you know like I'd sit down on the couch after I had a cigarette. I'd go give him a kiss and he'd be like “No, thank you.” And he'd be like “I'm not trying to be a jerk but you smell real bad.” And that made me have this moment of “Ew.” Like I smell like a wet ashtray. He wouldn't want to kiss me. I wouldn't want to kiss me either. Even as a smoker dating another smoker. You'd be like “Ew.” The smoke is in their lungs even when they haven't smoked for an hour, two, three, four hours. So you know you're laying in bed talking to someone and their face is in front of yours. And now suddenly all you can smell on their breath is the smoke. It wakes you up. And so to have someone be so honest with me and be like, "Yeah, no, after you've had a cigarette, I'm not really interested in giving you a kiss." And I was like, "Wow." When I wasn't smoking and I had two kids and I'd walk past people, I'd always hear people say, "Oh my god, that woman smelled wonderful." And then when I started smoking, that was not what I started hearing anymore.

So there were just a lot of awakenings for me. It wasn't like one thing because I had tried a million things to quit smoking. It was all of the things piling up on me. And if I'm totally honest, it came down to where I read a thing somewhere that said smokers don't really like themselves. And I was so annoyed by it. And then I started to do a lot of my own personal growth work. And I realized that the statement was beyond true. If you like yourself, you don't do things to harm yourself, right? And so I ended up really having this awakening moment of why would I try to kill myself if I do love myself? I realized that when I would quit smoking and I would see people who were on the streets and I'd walk by and be like, "Oh, you smell so good." Or even walking up to these people and being like, "Ew, you should quit smoking. You're so gross." It was out of my own jealousy that I couldn't have the behavior that they were having. It really played into my own personal growth work where I realized looking in the mirror at yourself and seeing who you really are inside is one of the most difficult things to do. To look at myself and say, "Wow, you acted like that and that was pretty crappy of you and that's the ugly side of you." It hurts your heart to do that stuff. It hurts your heart to feel that way. And I didn't want to be like that anymore. I wanted to change all of the things. And so smoking was just one of the many steps that I've taken on this journey to get myself to a place where I like who I am.

And then it evolved from there where I had this really incredible treatment and I basically forgot to smoke. I walked away and I was like, "Wow, this is magical." Because I had tried everything to quit smoking prior to that. I quit smoking for about 5 years and then I don't even know what happened. I think it was I actually had a party in my backyard, a barbecue in my backyard. Everybody was smoking and I grabbed a cigarette and I was just like, "Oh, it's just one. Just I'll try it and I took a puff and it was so gross. And the next day I was basically a lunatic and so I started smoking again and then I knew I was going to quit. So I was going to a concert. I went down I saw the lady had a treatment and then I bought the training and came home and started my own process in helping other people quit smoking, helping people with addictions. And really moving through all of my own personal growth and how I could change myself and how I could help others if they wanted to change. So, it's really been this whole journey. It's not just, “Oh, I'm going to quit smoking.” It's “I need to change my life and this is one of the first steps that I can take.”

And I think that is true for a lot of the people I work with because you can't just quit smoking and stay quit unless you do the work. It's the same any addiction. So whether it's heroin, cocaine, alcohol, if you don't do the work, you are not going to see the result. You really have to decide that you want to see the result. My trauma was the problem. My smoking was the solution. And that's the same whether it comes to an alcoholic or a drug addict or whatever it is. Their solution is the drug. Their problem is the trauma they don't want to deal with and the feelings they don't want to feel. And so that really was like what started moving me into this direction and how I ended up where I'm at now. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I haven't drank in over 15 years now. It's been 14 years since I've smoked a cigarette. I haven't smoked marijuana. And two, I live a pretty clean life. I don't drink coffee every day. I don't drink tea every day. I don't even drink pop every day. Like I have cleaned myself up in a lot of the ways because I found that they were just ways for me to escape. And essentially now it's not even like a "Oh I want a cigarette." What I notice is "Oh I want to escape." It's evolved. Okay. because it started as oh I could really use a cigarette and I'd be like ew I haven't smoked in so long. Why is that the sensation? Now as soon as I feel this sensation I'm like "Oh what do I want to run from? Why am I so uncomfortable right now?" And so then I work through that process within myself because every time I want a cigarette, every time I want to smoke a joint, every time I want a drink, every time I want to change where I'm sitting or how uncomfortable I am, it's always because I don't want to sit with the feelings that I'm feeling anymore and it's time to move through those. That's literally how I start my process of moving through the things is feeling that icky feeling of “I want to escape” and that leads me down the road of let's fix this problem then.



Jessi:

Well, that's an amazing story and journey. Thank you so much for sharing that. I appreciate y ur vulnerability and talking about this because I agree with you 100% that to get to the source of what is driving us to smoke, it's always something deeper. The smoking is more of a symptom if you use a disease model. I don't really care for that myself, but I like how you painted it as a solution. And I really liked how you used that external kind of pressure as your initial motivation, but you realize that it was coming from internally as well. You're like, “Okay, all these people are annoyed with me, but I'm annoyed with me.” And that's very hard realization. I've been through that myself. I've watched people go through it. But it's so powerful because once you have the awareness, you're able to go somewhere with it and really build on something. And it's so much more than just quitting smoking. It's an entire life change as you described. I think it's really important what you said too that you can recognize those patterns that would lead you to smoke. When you're like, "Hey, I'm avoiding here. There's resistance here." And that's absolutely key to get out of the cycle of self-destruction for myself and what I've seen. I just think that's so cool that everything you've been through, I can really relate to. And now you're able to use that knowledge to help others. So that's extremely powerful and fulfilling.


Meridee:

That I think that's probably my favorite part is that I get to help others. I'm currently going through this crazy life lesson about how I can only help others who want to help themselves. And I get to also set boundaries around that. Like I used to take everything so personally. Like when somebody would fail with laser quit, I would be like, "What did I do wrong? I did everything I could. So, how?” And then I'd be angry because I did everything I could. Well, they clearly did not. And so, I can't take responsibility for people's failures or successes. All I can do is provide information, skills, tools that I have, and if they choose to run with them, awesome. And if they choose not to, that's also their choice, right? And I think that also came from my own children in understanding that I can totally be like, “I was the best mom. My kids are like this.” But that means that when they fail, I have to also be like, “Oh, I was also the worst mom.” And one feels really good and one feels really bad. So, how about my children are responsible for themselves? Especially my kids are 22 and 23. So, they're responsible for themselves. They've taken what information has been put in front of them. They've taken the life they've lived and turned it into what they want it to be and the choices that they're making. And even with my children, setting that boundary of “You know what? This is your experience and I'm not going to involve myself in it.” I'm not a helicopter parent. I never have been.

And one time that I was was because my daughter was dating a guy that I just was struggling with the way that he was treating her and all of the things. And one of my best friends called me out on it. And he was like, “You've never been a helicopter parent. So what the hell are you doing right now?” And I was like, "Oh my god, what am I doing right now?" And he's like, "I don't know. That's why I'm asking you." And he's like, "It's costing you your relationship with your daughter." And I was like, "Oh my goodness, what is happening?" And it was my own fear for my daughter because I had been through an experience similar. And I was trying to prevent her from having that experience. But who am I to take that from her? And that was the biggest wakeup call is “Who do you think you are?” In that moment, there's a lot of us who are like, “Well, you're the mother.” No, she needs to have those experiences. Whatever experiences it is. It's her journey, not mine. And what I need to do is be here for when her life is positive or negative. When she's experiencing wonderful things or experiencing the most difficult things. Like my daughter is a vaper and I hate it. And there's nothing I can do about it.


Jessi:

I feel like the control aspect too is it ties back to addiction and to trauma that we feel safe when we have control. I can recognize that tendency in myself that I want to control things outside of me. And what's helped me is that empowering idea that I can control my own internal world. And in order for me to have that power, I need to let others have that power as well. And I can agree with you though. It's hard to watch people suffer. I've always been a fixer.


Meridee:

Yep.


Jessi:

And I'm learning myself, it's about being someone that can be a guide. With coaching, the way that I like to think about it is like you open the door and they’ve got to walk through it. So, it's like, “All right, I'm standing here with the door. You know, it's up to you.” So, I really think that's an important part that you can't make anybody quit. And that goes back to ourselves because like I said, you had this romance that was putting pressure on you to, “Oh, I should quit for this person.” But I found that all those attempts didn't really work. I had to be self motivated. I think that's a really important part of moving through addiction. But yeah, I found addiction was a way for me to control the way that I was feeling. Like you said, it's like I want to get out of this feeling. And so I've had a lot of control issues and the only way that I've been able to move through that myself is through acceptance. So does acceptance play a role for you in keeping yourself healthy and on track?


Meridee:

I think acceptance plays a role in every aspect of our lives. Understanding, you know, no matter how much work I do, there's probably still going to be more. And the more I evolve and the more personal growth that I have, the more work is coming. And one of the things that my dad used to say to me is “the more you know, the more you know you don't know.” And I remember being like, “How does that even make sense?” And then as I realize how little I know, as I gain more knowledge, I'm like, “That statement is so true because the more I know, the more I see I don't know.”

I've now rewired from one trauma into rewiring for a different one. And then unwiring that one to rewire for a different one because of the life that I'm currently living. And understanding that I am literally walking through my own journey of change and evolution and that that's okay. And never to expect perfection from myself or from anyone else. Right? So, I think acceptance is that exact thing. Accepting that I'm not perfect. I probably never will be. When I do, I'll be dead. And that no one else is going to be perfect. So, I can't expect them to be either.


Jessi:

That's a very strong statement. I like that. And I want to get back to stress because it sounded like stress was a huge motivator for you with smoking. How were you able to find ways to cope with stress and how do you cope with stress now?


Meridee:

So, one of the things that I have my current smokers do. Smokers, we go out and we're looking for an endorphin rush. Essentially, when you smoke, you're hitting your dopamine center, which is your reward center in your brain, and it releases endorphins that make you feel good. Which is crazy because when you poison yourself, you feel good. I mean, it's the exact same thing as when I drink. If I drink, I'm poisoning myself and therefore the result is an endorphin. Really, what an interesting way for our bodies to work. And yet, alcohol is a class one carcinogen. If I handed you a bottle of liquid asbestos, you would look at me like I was crazy. You would never drink it. And yet, you'll drink alcohol. So understanding how the endorphins work and the reward center of our brain works made it so that I understood what I was doing. And that I can find those endorphins without using a substance. Have you ever heard people say get high on your own supply?


Jessi:

Nice. Yeah.


Meridee:

Because that statement is about oxygen and breathing. So for example, a smoker goes out and they do about 30 puffs per cigarette. Some don't, so don't get me wrong, but about 30 puffs. You don't just take a puff and that's it. When you breathe, you just breathe. When we smoke, we go [deep inhale and deep exhale], right? So, there's this extra deep inhale and extra deep exhale. Those are ways that we can use your own body to get the high you're looking for. So, I will tell people “Take 30 deep breaths and I want you to count to three as you breathe in and count to three as you breathe out.” That is one of the many coping mechanisms because oxygen releases endorphins and now you feel calm. So, if you use that method that works.

I tell people “Go for a run. Run up and down your stairs.” You'll release endorphins through exercise. Or if you don't have stairs, go outside and take a very quick walk. Time yourself 2 and 1/2 minutes one direction, 2 and 1/2 minutes the next, and as fast as you can. Make it a speed walk or a really light jog because exercise is a great way to release endorphins. And then there's so many other things that we can do. Journaling, meditation, you name it. There's different ways for us to work through it. So, it really depends on the person and the moment that they're in. For me, it also comes down to really looking at the situation, right? So self-awareness is huge because what am I trying to run from is the biggest question you could be asking yourself because if you can figure out what you're trying to run from, you'll understand what you're trying to run to. And then you don't need the behavior anymore.

So when my clients are struggling and they message me and they're like, “Oh, I want to have a cigarette. Or "Holy shit, I want a drink.” Or whatever it is. My first question is, “Okay, so what's going on around you and what triggered you just now? And if they're like, “Well, nothing. I'm not doing anything.” “Okay, so boredom triggered you. Okay, great. That's a really great place to start because sitting quietly with your thoughts is too hard eh? Okay. Let's sit with your thoughts then. That's what's happening is there's something that needs to surface for you and you are trying to avoid it. So, let's sit with it.” And if meditation is something they're like, “No.” I'm like, “Okay, we'll try the 30 deep breaths.” Because you actually have to like close your eyes and focus on breathing in for three, breathing out for three 30 times. Guess what that is? Meditation, right? So, we use a lot of this stuff because sitting quietly is also going to help you hear yourself.

And I know people are like, "Oh, meditation is about silencing the mind." No, it's not. Meditation is seeking answers while prayer is asking for help. If you can sit with your thoughts so that you can hear them, you can write them down to release them. You can also find that if you sit with your thoughts enough, you can connect to your own universal source. Whether that's God. Whether that's the universe. Whether that's spirit. Whatever that is for you. And when you connect with that, you get the answers that you're looking for, right? And those answers will come to you in some uncomfortable ways. But if you're willing to look at those and work through those, then you're heading to your next level, which is your next level of personal growth.


Jessi:

What you're describing for me is practicing intuition. By taking that moment of quietness and connecting with divine source, with inspiration, I'm able to listen to my intuition. Because it's difficult for me to access when things are too busy and loud and distracting. And so I'm wondering what intuition what role it's had in your journey with quitting smoking and staying sober and all the amazing things you're doing in business?


Meridee:

Oh my gosh! I laugh because it's been probably one of my biggest lessons over the last year. But over the last six months, like it has been a punch in my face. Let's just go with say the beginning of the year. So in December, I had been dating someone and there was just something that just didn't feel right within me. And my intuition was like, "This isn't it. This isn't it. This is in fact not at all good for you. Like this is bad." And there was a piece of my people pleasing that made me be like, "No, no, I can't just leave. What excuse do I have to break this off?" And it wasn't until I saw why I was having all of this. They say hindsight is 20/20. Because afterwards I was like, "Oh, I see it all now. I see why I needed to leave. I see why my intuition was telling me.” My intuition was seeing red flags that I wasn't seeing and I was ignoring them. And then when you start to see the behaviors that are so powerfully against your alignment, then I'm like, "Oh, boy. Okay, I should have seen it." Well, I did, but I ignored it. So I’m really sitting and listening to my intuition. My intuition is usually between my throat chakra and my solar plexus. And usually there can be a sense of anxiety. If you feel anxiety, like when you're dating someone, that's not excitement. And even if there that is excitement, that excitement is telling you to run. You should feel calm and peaceful when you're with the right person. I wasn't listening to that.

And then there were other things that were surfacing for me in other ways in my life that were literally like, “You need to pay attention to this. You're not listening to me.” Over the last 6 months, there's been some serious things where I've been tested. Are you going to have faith? Are you going to have fear? Are you going to listen to the intuition that I'm giving you or are you going to run from it? And I made myself a promise that I would really start to listen to that intuition. And in the moments that I have, the wakeup call that I have and I'm like, "Okay, I'm going to listen like I'm going to have faith in this and know that this is the right answer for me." And when I do it and the answer comes around afterwards, I'm always like, "Wow, that's so powerful." And it just gives me more faith to keep moving forward in that.

And when I say faith, you know, like when I say God, a lot of people are like, "Oh, it's too spiritual or too religious for me or whatever it is." Faith just means believing in something you can't see. Fear is the exact same thing. So, I can choose to have one or the other. And I'm sorry, but every time I have followed my fear, it has destroyed more dreams and more choices and more everything than my faith ever has. My faith has always led me down the road of understanding, of finding peace, of all of the things that I really want to do and it has given me all the right answers. So my intuition is the one thing that I need to stay connected to. Sometimes, yeah, I need meditation to get there. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes it's like literally, you know, intuition is whispering to you and you don't listen and then it has to come around and smack you in the face and then you're like, "Oh, wait. I hear you now." So sometimes I'm the person who needs to be smacked in the face and I'm really working on listening to it so that I don't need to be smacked. So when I hear it whispering on my shoulder, I'm like, “I hear you and I'm going to follow you in this.”


Jessi:

When you were quitting smoking, you went to an uncommon treatment. Did intuition pull you towards that where you're like, "Hey, I think this is going to work and I want to try this."


Meridee:

Nope.


Jessi:

Okay.


Meridee:

Not in any way. I had actually asked Facebook. Someone helped me. “I can't quit smoking. I've tried everything. I'm currently on the pill and it’s making me really sick.” This girlfriend wrote on it, "Try this cold laser therapy." And I was like, "Okay." And then her friend commented, "How are you telling her how to quit smoking when you still smoke?" And I was like, "Okay, wait." So her and I hopped on a call and she actually wrote right underneath it as well, "I chose to start smoking. It had nothing to do with treatment." So then I called her and I was like, "So tell me about this." And she was like, "I don't know. Just look it up." She's like, "I'll tell you it was worth it." And I was like, "Why are you smoking?" And she's like, "Because things got stressful and I chose to pick up a cigarette again." And I was like, "Okay." I didn't even care. I had tried everything. The patches, the gums, the pills, cold turkey, you name it, I tried it and I was desperate. And it was last resort. And it was magical. It was amazing.

It was wild though because I had this treatment and the whole time I'm awake. She didn't warn me. So when she would move things, and I'd kind of jump. I certainly wasn't relaxed. And then I finished. I didn't feel any different when I was finished my treatment. And I said, "Okay, so now what?" And her answer was, "Well, now you don't smoke." And I was like, "Oh, just like that, eh?” And she was like, "Yep, so don't pick up another cigarette." And I was like, "Hm, if it was that easy, I wouldn't be a smoker. So, thanks for that advice." Well, I was a 3-hour drive from home. So, I was in my car and at the time I was dating the same guy. I want to say 2 hours into the drive. He said to me, "Okay, are you going to quit smoking at some point?" And I was like, "Wait, what?" And he's like, "Can you roll your window up?" And at that point it clicked a little bit that he had asked me multiple times to roll my window up. And I was like, "Why did you ask me if I was going to quit smoking?" And he's like, "Because you keep rolling your window down and then patting the center console looking for your cigarettes." He's like, "And then you go back to driving." He's like, "What are you trying to say here?" And I was like, "I have not thought about smoking once." He's like, "Bull." And I was like, "No, I'm dead serious. Not once have I thought about smoking until you just brought it up. And even when you brought it up, I had this moment of like “Smooo". And he's like, "What do you mean, smooo?" I'm like, "I started to think of smoking and it shut me off when I got halfway through the word smoke. And then I just had like a duh moment. And then I asked you why you asked me.” And he's like, "So you're telling me you completely forgotten?" I'm like, "This is the craziest thing I've ever experienced." And he's like, "Did you think this was going to work?" And I was like, "No." The lady just said, "Oh, just don't smoke again." I did not think this was going to happen and it was magical. I didn't struggle at all and I just quit. 5 years later, I started again. And it was literally just one cigarette that had took me right back down that same road.


So, there's the fact that you're using the endorphins. So, we basically are tricking people's brain into thinking it's already got the fix because we are releasing the endorphins without the toxic substances to do so. And they're not toxic endorphins. They are very positive endorphins and they're very good for you and they're awesome for your brain. It's just really wild that toxic substances force your brain to release these things. Now, the sensation of say doing a drug, a different drug, doing alcohol or smoking a cigarette is that each one has a completely different toxic reaction within your body. And that toxic reaction is releasing different levels of different endorphins. And that's why it's not the same sensation when you're smoking a cigarette versus drinking alcohol versus doing MDMA versus doing meth versus cocaine, right? They all use the same reward center and they all use the same endorphins, but they're all done at different levels. And when we do our treatments, we're basically hitting all of those endorphins and releasing them at the same level. So, you just feel elated, euphoric, fantastic, because they're all at the same level. So, you don't leave feeling high. You don't leave feeling stoned. A lot of people would be like, "I didn't feel anything." Other people are like, "Oh, I just feel so relaxed and lovely." And yet, we have incredible success. I mean, cold laser therapy has decent success. It has, say, an 85% success rate. But I spent the first 5 years of doing this business by experimenting on people. And I got their permission. So, don't get me wrong with that. I'd be like, “I'm going to try a different sequence on you today. And I tracked all of it. I used different lasers, different sequencing, different timing. And I ended up going from 85ish% success rates to 95% success rates.


Jessi:

Wow.


Meridee:

But that also incorporated having people reach out when they were struggling so that I could give them new coping mechanisms. So that they didn't just pick up a cigarette right afterwards. It was a process and it took me five years of this process and now I'm 14 years into this business. We have 10 locations and it's one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. I like to fight for the underdog. It's a thing. I'm working on it as well because some underdogs don't want to be fought for.


Jessi:

That sounds incredible to have that much of a success rate. So I'm wondering with the withdrawal symptoms because that's the first hurdle when you quit smoking is getting through those first 3 days. It feels like it takes forever. You know it's very uncomfortable. So does this help with that process?


Meridee:

So there are no withdrawal symptoms. You have withdrawal symptoms because your endorphins are crashing. So your endorphins throughout the day kind of just do like a squiggly line. When you use a substance whether it is smoking, drinking, any of those things you spike your endorphin and then it crashes. Well, it comes way below that wiggly line when you crash. So, somebody who's done cocaine, which I have never. But if you have ever done cocaine, then you know what I'm talking about, which is the day after. It's the same as drinking the hangover after. A lot of your hangover, a lot of your headache, a lot of those things is because you have overreleased the endorphins in your brain and they have to crash the next day in order to recover to get back to a normal level. So, you go spiking and then crashing and then regulating. So, as we get older, it takes longer and longer and longer to regulate as well.

Right now, another really interesting statistic is that it takes 8 days to recover from drinking. If you drink on a Friday and you just start to feel like yourself on the Friday. And you drink Friday, you haven't even given your brain the chance to recover. It actually takes until the next Saturday to fully recover, to get back to normal, which is where a lot of these issues are being created. People are like, "Oh, I'm not an addict. Don't drink every day." Well, you're not letting your brain regulate, which means you probably are addicted.


Jessi:

Yeah. I used to call it stealing from tomorrow's happiness. I know that game very well. So you don't have that endorphin crash by using the cold laser therapy?


Meridee:

Yes. And most people don't have any withdrawal symptoms. Even people who are alcoholic , who are drug addicts, they don't have the withdrawal symptoms because we have made your brain think it's got the fix already. So for the most part, we see minimal detox symptoms if any.


Jessi:

Okay. So people need to learn about emotional regulation though going into the future.


Meridee:
You need to deal with your trauma. Yep.


Jessi:

Yeah. because I found that to be the bulk of addiction, for myself and with other people that it's like, “Okay, you can use willpower to get through those first few days, but why do people go back three months later, six months later, five years later?” It's because there's something underlying there. So people can get that support with you?


Meridee:

Yes.


Jessi:

To kind of ask questions to kind of get to what's going on there? Okay.


Meridee:

Yeah. So, we offer full-on coaching. We offer basic follow-up support. Meaning like find out what's going on because if you can become aware of what's going on, you can start working on it on your own. Or we have coaching to go with it. And in that I started really doing this work and I actually saw a…. I want to say a Jewish priest. I might be wrong on what they're called but it was a Jewish gentleman. And he had said trauma is the problem. Addiction is the solution. And then Gabor Mate started saying it. And I had started saying it because as soon as I heard it the first time I was like “Oh my god that's exactly it.” And so now it's being scientifically proven that the problem is we don't want to feel our feelings. And the best way around that is to go ahead and fill our faces with some kind of substance.


Jessi:

Yeah. And then what I've seen happen with myself and other people too is that you get through the cigarettes, but you still kind of have those tendencies. Even with things that are healthy, like over-exercising. And so it really takes taking things apart.


Meridee:

And yes, and we call that dry drunking. So you might not even be a drunk, but we call it dry drunking. And what we mean by that is that you are acting out your addict behaviors without using a substance to do so.


Jessi:

I just am really impressed with your story and I think it's amazing and how you've been able to use quitting smoking as a journey for personal development. Not self-improvement, but personal development. Like you said, you'll never be perfect. That's not the goal, but you're enjoying the journey, learning about yourself, and going deeper with it all the time. I think that's absolutely beautiful. Do you have any final words for people that are listening? People that are


Meridee:

Struggling?


Jessi:

Feeling a little bit hopeless. Maybe they've tried to quit, not succeeded. Maybe they're scared to even try.


Meridee:

So, the thing that I always try to end my podcast with is to just know there's always hope. Even when you feel like there is none, there is always going to be that crack. And that's how the light gets in. And once the light gets in there, it lights it all up. So, you just have to find your way to the light. Don't give up. Just start finding your way to the light and know that everything that is happening around you is happening for you, not on you, not to you. It's happening for you. It's doing it so that you can learn something, grow from it, and become better.


Jessi:

Beautifully said. So, how can people get in touch with you and try cold laser therapy?


Meridee:

We have a website. It is laserquit.net or laserquit theapy.ca. We also have laserquit.therapy on Instagram and sober coach meridee on Instagram as well. Those are probably your best places to find us. If you're looking for us on Facebook, I think it's Laser Quit Therapies Headquarters is where you're going to find us most likely. But most of the Laser Quit pages come back to me anyways.


Jessi:

So incredible. Is there anything else you want to say about your work? Any projects or anything else? Right now we are currently looking for partners. So if you own a spa or a med spa, we are actually licensing people to offer our services out of their businesses. Because I didn't want to have to open a million locations of Laser Quit. I wanted to be able to offer Laser Quit from any spa or medical wellness center in order to make it so it's easily accessible.


Jessi:

That's a really bold goal.


Meridee:

I know.


Jessi:
I've never had heard of this and so I think it could be really powerful if it was more accessible. You're in Canada, right?


Meridee:

I am. Yeah.


Jessi:

Yeah. Because in the States, I have never seen anything like that. I I know they're around, but it's not something that's I think commonly talked about and it seems like it's a very powerful method. So, thank you for sharing that and getting the word out about it and doing the work you do. Thank you.


Meridee:

And thank you for having me and thank you all for listening.


Jessi:

All right. Take care, everyone. See you next week.


End of interview.


Jessi:

I hope today's story inspired you as much as it did me. When we hear stories like this, it's a powerful reminder that change is possible. If you're ready to start taking those steps for yourself, I'd love to help.

I put together a free minicourse called How to Survive a Craving to help you access tools to get through temporary cravings and hold fast to your true desire to quit smoking. This course is the stuff I wish I knew when I was practicing quitting, and I've put what worked for me in one place for you. You can grab the minicourse right now by visiting honoryourheart.net/craving.

Until next time, remember to treat yourself with kindness and to cherish the gifts of your heart. I'll talk with you soon. Thank you.

​