Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:

Hey everyone, I'm here with DR Rawson. DR, can you introduce yourself?


DR:

Sure. I'm DR Rawson. I'm a serial entrepreneur. I currently have a company called Tiny Tales Land. We're dedicated towards teaching children in the second, third, and fourth grades. Teaching things like character, respect and responsibility and kindness and love and gratitude and all those kinds of things that used to be taught in school when I was in school. But obviously it's been a long time since I've been in school. So, I do that and I’ve got a lot of experience with people in a variety of fields. I'm an adviser to a couple of companies. Anyway, I'm just, at my age, having a ball.


Jessi:

Oh, that's great to hear. So, that's quite a lot of projects you’ve got going on, but I want to start with your story with smoking. Can you tell us what smoking was like for you?


DR:

Well, I want to tell you about my first experience. My first experience was when I was a junior in high school. I had a little convertible car that my father had bought me. And I liked pipes. I thought pipes were so cool. This was back in a time when lots of people smoked pipes. So, I bought myself some pipe tobacco and I put it in there and I was driving down the highway of life. I certainly didn't want my parents to know. And my father is coming this way and I'm going that way on the road and he just looks over at me. No change of expression. Just looks at me like he would ordinarily look at me as if “I love you, son.” And kept on going. A couple of days went by. Three days went by. The fourth day is Saturday morning. We're sitting out on the back porch underneath a big old avocado tree. My dad turns to me. He was like my grandfather, not a man of a lot of words. But when he spoke, you needed to listen. So dad said to me, "Well, how much do you love playing football?" I said, "Well, I love it. I want to be a pro." And he says, "Really? You are dedicated to your team?" "Oh, absolutely. The team's so important." He said, "Well, how do you think your other team members would feel if they knew you were smoking? Doesn't that kind of cut back on your ability to run and your ability to breathe and ability to give it all, give 110%?” I listened to his words and I realized he was so right. He was so spot on. I said, "It's not a problem, Dad. It'll never happen again." And that was the end of that.

Fast forward, I was in that era for Vietnam and I went into the Air Force. And some people smoked. But when I got to my technical school, the leaders were all smoking these little cigars. They looked so cool. I wasn't there for two weeks and they made me over 385 men, what's called a flight. And so I had to march them and I had to do all that. But in my off time, I had to have a cigar like they did. It was cool. When I left that position, I couldn't wait to get rid of those damn cigars. I hated those things.

And so when I got to my permanent duty station, a good friend of mine, Andy, smoked. And I thought, maybe that's what you're supposed to do. My parents smoked, both of them. I might also add at this point they died at an early age. My father at 42, my mother at 44. My father died of a heart attack. My mother died of cancer. So there's a role model, I suppose. Anyway, my friend, Andy, gave me my first cigarette. I said “This tastes kind of interesting.” He says, "Yeah, you'll like it after a while." So I smoked for probably 2 years and I was going home after I got back from the war to California where I was from. And on the drive down, my wife said, "You going to continue that smoking?" I said, “You know, I don't think I will.” I said, “I'll wean myself off of them.” So, I took two or three weeks and kind of slowed down a little bit here and a little bit there. You know, that kind of thing. Got off them. And I was off of them… Are you ready for this?


Jessi:

I'm ready.


DR:

I was off of them for 25 years. Suddenly, I found myself single and I had a good time. I had a great facility overlooking the pier in Manhattan Beach, California. All the fun stuff I wanted to do, I could do. I knew I could afford it. So, it was great. And then I got myself a girlfriend. She was pretty cool, man. She didn't smoke and I didn't smoke. And then one day, she just teed me off. I had not been that upset, I think, since I played football. And I played nine years, semi-pro. She teed me off. So, I thought the best thing I could do is go out and hurt myself. So, I went and had a cigarette. And that's why I started smoking. I smoked again for another almost 14 years, I guess. And I tried to quit a couple of times. kind of nonchalantly. I didn't really have my heart in it. I didn't really care one way or another.

In that time, I also founded a casualty insurance company. We used to smoke, a bunch of us, mostly C-suite. We would go out at the same time, break at the same time, and use it like a conference room. We're all out there smoking and talking about business and so on and so forth. So, it was kind of facilitating that.

One day, I just looked at this thing and I happened to catch a smell on my clothing and I went, "Whoa, people smell that on me?" And I was not impressed. I'm a guy that, I don't know if you can tell or not, but I'm pretty squared away in terms of the way I like to look and the way I like to present myself. And I said to my wife who also smoked, “You know, I think I'm going to quit.” She says, "Why would you quit?" I told her about that. She says, "Really? I never noticed." I said, "Well, let's go into your closet, smell your clothes." She smelled her clothes and she went, "Oh my gosh." She was also a person who loved to dress, loved to look sharp when she went out someplace. And to think that the smell that she put on herself wasn't the smell that people were smelling. They were smelling the smoke. So we kept talking about it and I said to her, "I decided when I'm going to quit." She says, "When are you going to quit?" She says, "How are you going to do that?" I said, "Well, you'll see."

It was January 2nd, 2003, One, two, three. So people noticed I quit. And they said, "You quit? Why? Why'd you quit?" And I'd tell them. And they'd say, "Wow, was that hard?" I said, 'Well, you know, it all depends on you, I guess.” I said, “For me, it was as easy as one, two, three. One, two, three.” “What are you talking about?” And I told them “January 2nd, 2003.” They went, "Oh my god, you quit on the day you wanted to quit?” I said, "Yep, threw them away." That was the end of that. And my wife quit about two months later.

Probably 6 months later, we were thinking about taking a trip. And we thought we'd go to Las Vegas. About two blocks from the house was a little bodega in Orange County, California. I said, "You know what? If we're going to Las Vegas, whatever happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas, right?" “Right.” I said, "You're telling me you're having a craving for a cigarette, and I think I could, too." I said, "Why don't we buy a pack and we'll smoke all the way up to Vegas, enjoy it in Vegas, and we'll smoke all the way back." She says, "That is a great idea." And I said, "Okay." So, first thing we did, we're not in the car like five minutes, so we're in this bodega parking lot. I go and buy our usual cigarettes. Came back out. We could not wait to get the wrapper off that, get a cigarette in our mouth and light it up. And I just pulled out onto the roadway and I inhaled this first breath. And I went, "Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? What the hell was I thinking? This is awful." And my wife's looking at me. She goes, "I never thought I wouldn't enjoy a cigarette. This is terrible." We both threw them out the window. And that pack was still intact when we came back to California. She took it to the office and gave it to the first person she knew that smoked that brand. And that was the end of that. And we've had children quit. Whether they quit because we were their role model or not, I don't know.

We still have one child that smokes and chews. I was president of an international oil company. And he kind of followed me into the business, even though I left it a long time ago. In that business, it's kind of expected that you chew. I don't know if you've watched people chew, but that is a disgusting habit, I'll tell you. And anyway, he put this stuff in his mouth. And I said to him one day, I think it was at my 60th birthday, "Let me ask you, son." I said, "What are you accomplishing when you chew?" He said, "Well, you know, sometimes I sit down on a well for hours and it's something to do." I said, "Have you ever heard of reading? Maybe you could read a book." “Oh, Dad, I… yeah, that's crazy. No, I sit out there and chew and talk to my friends and stuff.” I said, "Really? Your friends all chew?” “Oh yeah, they all chew. We all have a little round stain in the back of our pocket, on our butt. So you can tell we got a can of chew in there because we're cool. We got chew.” And I said, "And you smoke, too?" He said, "Well, yeah. Sometimes I don't want to chew. I want to smoke." “I see. How's that going for you? How do you feel about that?” “Well, okay, I guess.” And I said, "You guess. You're not really smoking because it's something you really demand doing? You're kind of smoking because of peer pressure, because it's something to do when you're bored?” I said, “That's really why you're smoking, right?” “Maybe.” I said, “Well, consider this as a maybe. Maybe your kids will see you. They're pretty little right now.” At the time, I think they were three and seven. “You keep it up. They're going to be watching their dad do this. And that's their role model. When they think of their childhood, they're going to think of their dad smoking. So therefore, if I smoke, it's okay.” I said, 'Is that really what you want?” “Oh, you know, I'm going to quit. My wife has quit already, and I'm going to quit. I don't want my kids to see this.” I said, 'Really, you will quit for your kids, but for your peers, you just have to succumb to that pressure? Is that what you're telling me?” “Well, um, maybe?” I said, “Well, I think you need to get enough gumption where you say it either is or isn't.” So, we talked for a couple years like this back and forth periodically. I didn't want to harp. Finally, he said, "You're right, Dad." And he quit. And he quit for three years. Then he got a divorce and started smoking again. Don't understand that, but that's what he did.

I have another daughter who smokes. That's her life. She would rather spend 10, 12, 14 bucks a pack every day, than give it up. I said, “You know, you could drive a better car.” “You know, I don't care.” I said, “But what are you setting for your kids?” “Well, they won't smoke anyway.” Well, it turned out they didn't. And they're both fully raised now, and they've never even smoked. But I said, “What about you?” I said, "Your own mother died and she smoked three packs a day. And she died at 71.” I said, "71 is pretty young. I mean, you probably don't think so.” But I was 75 at the time. I think 71 is young. Now I'm 78. I still think 71 is pretty young. It just kept going anyway. And she has no intention of quitting. Absolutely none.

But why do people smoke? I've asked myself this so many times. Why do people smoke? I think we smoke for a variety of reasons: peer pressure, something to do with our hands. I know when I was in Vietnam, one of the things I liked to do was snap that Zippo lighter. And the lid would pop off and then I'd quickly strike the wheel and then I'd light the cigarette. It was like a little process. It's like Pavlov's dog, you know? We get a process going and so we just do it. And I think that's the hardest thing people have to overcome. Over the years, I've learned that there's a number of issues that people need to overcome. Smoking's not the only thing. You know, a lot of people get stuck in bad jobs. They get stuck in bad marriages. They get stuck in all kinds of things. Smoking is one of those things.

I found that most people never give themselves permission to make a change. They think because they're already doing it, that's the deal. They're going to always do that because that's who they are. But that doesn't have to be who you are. But nobody can force you to change. You have to change on your own. But the first thing it starts with is that you have to give yourself permission to change. That sounds really funny. I know somebody has probably never thought of that before. But I'm going to tell you it's a real truth. They believe because they're in this so that's where they should be. How did you get there? There's probably a lot of circumstances that weren't intentional. It's just where they are and that's what they're used to. So why change?

There's such a thing as intentional living. And intentional living says, “I get to design my own life. I don't want to smoke. I want to be a role model. I want others to see me as this type of person.” And so, you decide that's what you're going to do. And if you decide that, then quitting becomes much easier because you've already given yourself permission to quit. And it doesn't fit the model that you have in your head. And so, you can quit. But blaming it on, “Oh, it's so hard. It's like heroin. It's like, oh, whatever.” Whatever. That's just a myth. That's absolutely a myth. It's a thing people tell themselves so that they can convince themselves that it's hard. But if they started telling themselves, “Oh, this is as easy as not wanting to eat Cheerios for dinner as opposed to steak.” It's a decision. That's all it is. So once people understand that it's a decision, they can move forward.


Jessi:

To reclaim that power to, like you said, create the life they want for themselves. I think that we use the excuses because it takes us out of our power. It's just like “Oh we're helpless.” And that way we can blame somebody else, blame something else instead of coming into it. Because there's two sides to it. It's like this weight, this burden, this responsibility. But it's also really exciting. And it gives you a freedom where you can make the life you want for yourself. And it's kind of scary. I think most of us aren't used to that power. We're used to doing what we're told. We're used to following the program. We feel safe when we get caught in these patterns. Like you said, it's hard to for us to even imagine anymore. It's just “This is what I do. This is what I've always done.” But that's really stale and can make you kind of miss out on your own life, you know. Because we're meant to change. But at the same time, change can be really scary. I feel like part of us resists it, but we need it to survive.


DR:
You know, change is scary. There's no doubt about it. Just anytime you don't know what's going to happen next, there's a little flutter goes on in your stomach. You start questioning, “Why am I here? Why should I be doing this?” The word in your head is, “It's safer over here.” Sometimes people just succumb to that as opposed to remembering why they made the decision in the first place.

In my businesses that I've had, and I've had 30 of them, one of the things I always ask people is, “Why? I mean, why are you in this business that I happen to be at the time? You could be working for an airline. You could be on a ticket counter. You could be turning a wrench in a car. You could be a greeter at Walmart. Heck, I don't know. Why do you want to do what you're doing?” Now, this is going to surprise you. If people can't tell me why they want to do it, I usually let them go because they don't have strong enough motivation to make a difference. I need people who are going to make a difference; help the company make a difference and help us achieve our objective. If you're there because it's a paycheck? Yeah, you're not really my kind of person.

I had a company that was non-profit. We were in 55 countries. And I remember asking a guy in Pakistan. He says, "Well, I want to be on your team. I can do this and I can do that." I said, "Why?” “What do you mean why? I want to be on your team." I said, "No, why do you want to be on the team? Is that going to give you prestige? Is it going to give you fulfillment because you help others? Is it going to give you connections? Is it going to give you a better relationship with your family? I don't know. Why do you want to do this?” “I want to be on the team. You know, it's a great company. I want to be on the team." I said, "I'm sorry, my friend. That's just not enough reason." I said, "We'll be looking for representation someplace else." He could not believe that I said that. And most people can't. But if you don't have a strong enough why…. why am I here? Why do I want to do this? Why do I think I can accomplish this? If you don't have a strong why, you will fail. Now, that's an absolute truth. And anybody will tell you that you need to have a strong why. Why are you in this relationship?

My wife and I have been married 31 years. We have six children. We have 18 grandchildren and eight great grandchildren. My first marriage was 26 years. That's where all the children came from. But my current wife, I asked her, I said, "I know you like me. And I know you think you love me, but why do you want to be with me? Why not somebody else?” I mean, she's a beautiful redhead, a great gal. Everybody loves her, including the children, the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They all love her; people that I associate with and in clubs that I'm in, I'm a mason, and my company. Everybody loves to talk to Margaret because she's a great listener. So, I asked her, I said, "Why do you want to be with me?" She said, "You're probably one of the most fascinating men I've ever met. You've done so much crap. I couldn't believe people could do that much by this age." I was 58 when I met her and I was 58 when I married her. She was 38. And I said, "Well, that's an interesting reason." I said, "But it doesn't sound like it's a strong love." She said, "Well, I think love grows." I said, "I'll buy that. I think love does grow. You start out with a spark and you keep building on that. And the important part is that you build on it. How do you feel about that?” We spent two weeks asking each other questions. And she had a firm why when one of my children said, "Why are you marrying my dad?" And she said, "I'll tell you why I'm marrying your dad." And she listed it all out there. I think my kid went, "That's my dad?" But I'm telling you, why is so important. If you're going to quit smoking, you got to have a why. Why is it important to you?


Jessi:

Asking why ties into smoking so much. Exactly. I think it opens up that curiosity, too. It's not only the why for the motivation. “This is why I want to quit. This is why this is no longer working for me.” But it's unraveling the thread here. “Why do I even smoke? What emotions am I having when I start smoking?” For me, stress was a big trigger. So, it was really cool when I could start to keep asking those questions, and keep going down deeper. “So, why am I stressed? Oh, because I'm talking negatively to myself every day. I'm creating my own stress that I'm trying to fix with smoking, which actually stresses me out more.” It helps you kind of see new patterns and be more open-minded when you start to ask why.

I would have trouble answering all your whys though because sometimes the why is like poetry for me. It's not something that you logically explain and chart out. It's just something that I'm called to. I really have an important tie to intuition and intuition is so hard to explain why. When someone's like, "Why don't you want to do that?" I'm like, "Don't feel right. That's why." You know what I mean? So I think the why can be just a calling from your heart. You don't really need to analyze it or explain it to anyone else, but you know it's important to you. You feel it in your bones. Do you resonate with that at all? Do you have that calling from intuition? I'm sure you do with so many businesses.


DR:

Let me tell you how important it is to me. I started an insurance company that we grew from scratch. Okay? We started with two people. We grew to 78. We went over the top at a number that's too large to discuss, but it's a crazy number. I remember hiring my assistant. She said, "Well, what do you expect from me?" And I told her what she expected. I said, "Here's something I expect from you that will get you fired if you don't use." She said “What is that?” I said, "Your intuition." I said, "You never ever get the chance to come back to me and say,’Well, I could have told you that was a bonehead move. Or he was a stupid hire. Or we shouldn't have done that.’” I said, "If you're a member of this team, you have a responsibility to bring your whole self to the team. And your whole self means if you have a funny feeling, something in your gut that just doesn't feel right, you’ve got to voice that opinion. Now, the rest of us may override it, but you’ve got to at least voice that opinion and be true to who you are.” She said, "You'd fire me for not using it?" I said, "Absolutely."

Now, I never had to fire a woman because they didn't use it because most women are proud when you give them permission to use their intuition. They're really proud to come and say, “You know, I don't think this is right.” “Really? Tell me why.” “Well, it just doesn't align. It's not cohesive. It's not congruent. There's something about it that just seems off.” Now, that's a huge red flag for me as a guy who leads a company because I'm going to start looking for what is the problem. There's got to be something there. So, I start breaking it down and every time I found something. She was right on. She was so spot on. She was such a great girl. And I think most people who pay attention to their insides as well as their outsides will admit that their intuition sometimes has saved them from problems. It saved them from issues that they shouldn't even have been there, places they shouldn't have gone. And their intuition is saying, "You need to turn and get out of here." And some people just fight it. “No, no, it be fine. It'll be fine.” It's like having a devil and an angel on your shoulder, right?


Jessi:

And I feel like with smoking, we get that call. Our intuition is like, "Something's wrong here. This doesn't feel right." We ignore it because we're like, "No, I need it." We tell ourselves these stories that we come to believe and we're ignoring other information. So that's what I found with myself. I could finally give myself permission to listen to my intuition. It changed my life.


DR:

Well, let me tell you something else about stories. You say we give ourselves stories. I'm a storyteller. I write stories and I write them for kids and adults. I can tell you something about stories… is that stories are important. All my life, I've had to sell whatever product it is or service it is that we've created. I've had to go into somebody else and sell it. Not with a, “Oh, you really have to have this or if you don't have this, your hair will fall out.” Or whatever other stupid reason you come up with. I go in and I look for a solution. How can I provide a solution with what I have? And so I give them a story about it and I tell them how it will be used and I tell them how it's going to affect their people and how it'll affect their bottom line. Then the details of that story close and that's usually the bottom line. So if all of this makes a difference, people are better, you sell more products, people enjoy it, people stay longer, whatever it is. But when I tell you it'll improve your bottom line, is that something you can ignore? And that's the detail. So stories sell, details close. And stories sell to you in your head. And the details close.

You know, the story is, “Well, I want to be a cool kid. I want to hang out with my buddies and my girlfriends and they all smoke and we're going to go to the bar and we all smoke at the bar.” And the details are if you do that, then you've put yourself in a class that maybe unintentionally put yourself there. Do you want to be considered as one of those people who hangs out at a bar and has a drink and has a cigarette and has a cigar and has all that going? Or do you want to be considered as somebody who might go to a bar, have a drink, and be coherent enough to tell stories and do all that without having to smoke and let that hold other people's attention? An interesting thought, isn't it?


Jessi:

Yeah.


DR:

Smoking is something that we're not going to solve in this program. I can tell you that. We're not ever going to solve it. One of the things that I did with my non-profit is we wanted to take care of the homeless. Not to eliminate homeless because nobody's ever going to do that. But if you can make life better for them, more humane, because some of the people cannot help the fact that they're homeless. I was homeless as a kid. I know this. When we talk about smoking, it's really the same thing. It's exactly the same thing, but we're not going to solve it. But it can be solved. We're not going to do it. It has to be done by the individual.

Nobody can force you. Nobody can make you feel so bad about yourself that you decide, "Oh, I think I'll quit." Because if they do, that's temporary. Because if that person leaves your life, “Well, that pressure is not around. I can go back to smoking.” And that's what people do. If however that decision comes internally, “I'm going to change because I want people to look at me differently. I want to smell differently. I want to be seen for me, not for this.” That's a completely different idea. And I think that's what it takes to make a decision.


Jessi:

So I want to talk more about what you went through. So you were able to make that decision and shift your identity. I want to know kind of more about the nitty-gritty of it. So when you were smoking, like I said, I would smoke when I had stress. I want to know, did you have any kind of emotional connection like that? Did you smoke at a familiar time? And then how were you able to change that pattern?


DR:

I smoked at a familiar time. My wife and I'd be together. We'd be sitting in the evening and watching television or just talking. We'd smoke together. Nobody outside, no outside influence whatsoever. At work, when you say stress, my wife likes to tell me, "You've been stressed since the time you were 21," which is when I had my first business. Running a business, particularly a large business, just takes a lot of energy. And so, it might be said that, “Well, if I go out and smoke, that'll help me calm down and help me relieve some of that stress.” I’ve got to tell you, honestly, it never did that for me. Never ever. It gave me a chance because I did smoke to meet with some of the other executives who did smoke so that I could catch them at a time when they were more relaxed. I could get better decisions from them and I could get them to think outside the box. So if that meant I smoked because I wanted to go out there and talk with them. Well, then that's what I did. I got to a point where I said, "Yeah, I don't need this.Yeah, I don't need this at all.” I could have said, "I suppose I'm the CEO. They'll come to me when I want them to and we'll get decisions made the way they should be made." I never looked at it like that. I'm just not that guy. But I did look at it as an opportunity that as a CEO, I had a responsibility to all the people that work for me. And I don't think smoking was setting the right example.

Somebody said to me, "You're so big on the bottom line, DR. Tell me how you think smoking affects the bottom line." I said, “You want to know?” I said, “Well, I pretty well designed my life and I'm going to live to be one hundred and one day. So September 24th, 2046 is when I'll die.” If you can't get it done in 100 years, well, you had enough time. I'm sorry. Just like I hold meetings that are only one hour long. That's it. Right on the nose. So I said to this person, "You're doing things that are going to affect your health that you can't see now. You're in your 20s. You're in your 30s. You're in your early 40s. Why would you even think that that would be a factor in your health? Because at that age, and by design, you're supposed to think I can live forever. I can do all these things. I got all these opportunities in front of me. And you're absolutely right. But when you smoke, you start limiting those opportunities big time.” So I said, "The bottom line here is: what's the quality of life that you want?"

When I got to my 50s, before I actually quit, my wife and I agreed before we got married. I said, "The quality of life has become more important to me than anything. We only have so many years and I want it to be a quality life. I don't want it to be suffering and living like some people do or the excuses some people give. I don't want that. I want to design my life for us and I want to live like that." She says, "Well, that makes perfect sense." When we decided to quit, we fell back on that. That wasn't the quality of life that we wanted. And so, yeah, it has some serious ramifications. And all you need to do is look at, not the health journals, at the newspaper every day. There's some dire consequence of somebody having done this or that to their body. Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, these are all things that we know. It's not a guess. It's not a maybe. It is. We know it's a detriment to your health. Is there any question about that? Could you possibly raise any issue and say, "Oh, no. Smoking will never hurt me." Well, I'm here to tell you you're wrong. So, that's the bottom line on that issue. We know it causes a problem. For me, my design life says I'm going to live to the fullest. I'll be one hundred. I will have done everything I could possibly do that I wanted to do that was on my bucket list and then some. And that's what I intended. That's the life I want to live.


Jessi:

That's some motivation. So, you saw that quality of life improve right away, huh?


DR:

Oh, yeah. Right away. Right away. I felt better about me. And suddenly people said to me, "That's a nice cologne you're wearing. What is that you're wearing?" Nobody ever said that to me before. And after my clothes had been dry cleaned, now I'm putting on cologne. I wear Polo Green. People said, "Wow, that really smells good on you." They never said that about me smoking. They never said, "Wow, smoking smells good on you." Nobody ever said that.


Jessi:

Yeah. And I bet you felt more confident, too.


DR:

Oh, of course I did. It helped me accomplish something in my life that I wanted. I was more in control of my life. I knew that I didn't want to do this and I wanted to do this. So, that was helping fill in that picture of what I wanted to do. You got to start somewhere.


Jessi:

Well, thank you so much for sharing your story. There's a lot of really good tidbits in there. Really heart-based, beautiful words. Thank you. I'm wondering if you have any final words for people that are stuck in it, not sure if they can. What would you say to them?


DR:

I would say for you it's as easy as one, two, three as it was for me. Once you make a decision that this is what you want to be. Not that, you want to be this. And if this includes not smoking, you'll be fine. You'll go right through it. And yes, will you still want to have a little craving? Yeah. So what? You know, people on diets go, "Yeah, I'd really really like to have a big milkshake right now." But do you? No, because it's against what you have in your head. “I want to lose 20 pounds. If I have a milkshake, that's not going to get me to my goal.” So, it's the same way. So, yes, you're going to have cravings. So, what? So, what? I've had cravings all my life for one thing or another, but it doesn't mean it has to control me because I have a plan. I know what I want and I'm going to accomplish that. And I accomplished that because I made the decision, not because of the group that I was in, not because of where I worked. None of that came into play. It's because it's what I wanted. So I think if we get the listeners to realize that when you make the decision. A real decision that says this is my why and this is what I want to accomplish, you can quit.


Jessi:

Yep. No going back. The decision is everything. How can our listeners get in touch with you and do you want to talk more about your work?


DR:

Well, I am the CEO of a company called Tiny Tales Land. We focus on children four to about 10 or 11 years old. We write stories that are 100 words in length. Do you have children?


Jessi:

I do. She's two.


DR:

She's two. So, you're reading stories already, aren't you?


Jessi:

Yes.


DR:

Okay. So, you read this story. You read part one tonight and part two the next night. She really doesn't get it and it's probably written over her head anyway. But you want to read a story. So, you read a story. Our stories are 100 words. So, we have a story, we have a resolution, and we have an end. And the end might be something like this… So, Bobby found a dollar bill on the playground. And then when he went back into the classroom, the teacher was talking to Juan, and Jaun was looking frantically through his coat for his dollar bill. And so, he said to one, "Where do you think you lost it?" He said, "I think I lost it on the playground." He said, "I found it." And he gives it back. And he realized giving it back was better than realizing he was going to keep it. Now, that's a perfect lesson on honesty, right?


Jessi:

Yes.


DR:

And respect is all about listening. So, we talk about these things. Our site is tinytalesland.com. There's games for children to play. There's puzzles for children to play. There's experiences. You can climb Mount Everest. You can go on a roller coaster ride. You can go make up your own story. You can read stories. Your parents can read stories to you. You can read it on your phone. It's really well equipped for a mobile app. So you can take your phone in and say good night to the child and do that. But here's the important part. It's only 45 seconds to read one of these stories. So before you're spending like 10 or 15 minutes. And you read this partial story and then you say, "Okay, it's time for bed. Good night." What did that accomplish? Absolutely nothing.

But our way is that you read the story and the story is about kindness. And so you say, "Susie, let me ask you a question. Have you ever seen kindness before?" Oh, mommy, I saw somebody do this and that and that's kindness, isn't it?” “Yeah, it is. Have you ever been kind to someone?” “Oh, you know what I did the other day? We were on the playground and a bunch of people came up and I let them go first at the fountain.” “Well, that was being kind. That's great.” Now, what did you do? You created a moment and you created a memory.


Jessi:

That's great to have a conversation with kids and really teach those things that are really important, not the stuff to memorize. I'm really wholeheartedly behind that.


DR:

We do the same thing for adults at yourcharactercounts.net. We talk about character, integrity, and credibility. It's a three-legged stool. Without any one of those things, you're in trouble. When you see people out there, you recognize. Where's that guy's integrity? Where's their credibility? They lie. They cheat. They don't do what they say they're going to do. Yeah. All those things start going by the by. So, as an adult, you need to practice your character, your integrity, and your credibility.


Jessi:

Yes.


DR:

And so, we have tools out there for people to do that. And it's yourcharactercounts.net.


Jessi:

Those all tie really well with quitting smoking. I think each one of those is strengthened. Thank you so much for being here and sharing all your wisdom and experience. And I really appreciate your story. Thank you.


DR:

You're welcome. Thanks for having me.


Jessi:


Take care, everyone. See you next week


End of interview.


Jessi:

I hope today's story inspired you as much as it did me. When we hear stories like this, it's a powerful reminder that change is possible. If you're ready to start taking those steps for yourself, I'd love to help.

I put together a free minicourse called How to Survive a Craving to help you access tools to get through temporary cravings and hold fast to your true desire to quit smoking. This course is the stuff I wish I knew when I was practicing quitting, and I've put what worked for me in one place for you. You can grab the minicourse right now by visiting honoryourheart.net/craving.

Until next time, remember to treat yourself with kindness and to cherish the gifts of your heart. I'll talk with you soon. Thank you.

​