Hi, welcome to the You Can Quit Smoking podcast, where we go over stories of success with overcoming smoking addiction. Many people have moved through this radical transformation and use smoking as an opportunity for inner growth, with deeper self-awareness and a greater capacity for compassion. So many have done it and you can quit smoking, too. I'm your host, Jessi Hartnett, founder of Honor Your Heart.

Jessi:

Hi everyone. I'm here with Mercedes. Mercedes, please introduce yourself.



Mercedes:

I'm Mercedes. I'm a spiritual coach to an extent and I help people who are suffering from burnout or just really struggling to make space for themselves. And that's what I really like to work on. I want to talk about my smoking journey or my not smoking journey now.



Jessi:

You can just jump right in and tell us where you started and what smoking was like for you.



Mercedes:

I started smoking when I was 13, roughly 30 years ago now. Basically, I always joke with people that are younger than me that when I was that age, you could go into a shop in your school uniform and buy cigarettes. They wouldn't turn you away. They would just sell you cigarettes. Whereas now, I don't know what it's like in other parts of the world, but in the UK, you have to be 18 to buy cigarettes. You have to have ID and it's really, really difficult to get them. But when I was a kid, it was just easy to come buy them. I mean, they were in machines. You could just go to a machine and buy them as well.


And smoking became a sociable thing. So, I started off initially doing it just with friends. I wasn't smoking all the time because, obviously, I wasn't smoking at home. And then I went to university. I was still socially smoking, but obviously I was being a lot more sociable. And I didn't have parents around to kind of watch over me and sort of be there as a buffer to smoking. So I just ended up smoking all of the time.


As I got older, it became my way to have a break. When I was a student, I was working in a restaurant. The only way you could get a break from serving tables was to go outside and have a cigarette. When I left university, I started working in an office. I didn't know how to take a break other than “Well, I'm going to go for a cigarette now.” And so it became my place where I could actually rest and recharge, which is interesting because that's kind of what I work on with people. And I've suffered with burnout because I don't rest and recharge. And so there's a kind of a link between not smoking and not giving myself that time. So the smoking was like an excuse to give myself that time that I didn't have if I didn't smoke.


And I did try like there was a bit of me that wanted to give up smoking. And I tried a couple of times, but I didn't really want to give up. I was a smoker and I was happy being a smoker. And it was definitely very very much part of my identity of who I was.It was almost a definition of who I was. I was only a smoker.


So then if I fast forward a bit because I actually gave up smoking; I think it's about 12 years ago now. But if I go forward to roughly 2012 and I was starting to do more yoga. And I started to do more meditation and more breathing practice. As that got more and more and more, it got to 2013. I will say this, at the Christmas of 2012, I remember saying to a family member that I was never going to give up smoking. And I gave up in April of 2013. So something switched in my brain like that and I went from being a smoker to being a non-smoker. I would say a lot of it came down to the lifestyle I was living. So I was doing a lot of yoga. I was eating really healthily. I was really caring about myself and I just looked at smoking and I thought this doesn't fit with the person that I'm becoming and I decided to quit.


I know a lot of people use replacements and different tools to help them give up. I didn't actually do any of that. I read a book by a guy called Patrick Holford and it's called How to Quit Without Feeling Shit. It gives you lots of advice about your diet and your behaviors but also supplementation. So I was taking very high doses of vitamin B3 or niacin and vitamin C. And I was sitting in the sauna every day to flush basically all the toxins out of my body. And I was doing that at the same time as cutting down my smoking.


So first of all, I started by restricting where I smoked. So I only smoked outside, which now in 2025, you think “Well everybody smokes outside.” In 2013, everybody smoked in their houses if they smoked. At that point, if I would wake up in the morning or before I went to bed, I would have a cigarette in bed. Honestly, I find that really gross now, but at the time, it was really normal. So, I restricted myself to smoking outside. I got really almost pedantic about it. So, I had a certain amount of time between each cigarette and I would extend that by 5 minutes every day so that I was smoking less and less and less. And then I cut it down to half a cigarette. And then I was on this borderline. I was actually only smoking about three cigarettes a day. But I was getting just enough nicotine into my body to really feel the withdrawal before the next time I could smoke. And so it was like I had a decision then. Do I just carry on smoking or do I just stop? So I thought this is the point. I'm just stopping now. And I stopped and that was it.


And I know a lot of people have really bad withdrawal symptoms sometimes. But because I'd been cutting down and I'd been taking all the supplementation, I probably had one day where I felt a bit rough. But not really really bad. And then I was fine. I didn't have any other symptoms. The funny thing is I really feel that my identity became as a non-smoker. So where smoking was part of my identity before I switched into not a smoker. And since then I think in the first 6 months of giving up I had on maybe two occasions I had a puff of a cigarette and I was just like “No I don't like it.” And put it out. But since then so since October 2013 I haven't touched cigarettes at all.


I don't generally get cravings anymore. I would say for the first two years I didn't really have cravings until I got stuck in traffic. And this was like 2 years after I quit smoking and I got stuck in traffic and I was like, "Oh, fancy a cigarette now." I didn't really fancy one, but something habitual just overrode what was going on. When I was stuck in traffic I’d smoke and I didn't have that. That was a shock because I really thought I was totally over it and it kind of came flooding back 2 years later. But 12 years on now, I don't think about smoking anymore. I wouldn't even consider having a cigarette. I don't like smoking. I've kind of become one of those non-smokers that really doesn't like being around smoking. So yeah, it's been quite an interesting journey.


One of the things I would say that came up for me after I quit smoking, because I was doing all the yoga and I was reading lots of books about stuff. And I read a book about breathing and the breath. In the book it was talking about how when you have a lot of grief, you hold it down in your lungs. And that when you smoke because smoking basically acts as a thing to shove the grief down so we don't have to feel it. So it's stuffing things down. And when you learn to breathe properly, then you no longer have the need because you release those emotions that have been pushed down. So you no longer have the need to smoke. And I always thought that was quite interesting because I gave up smoking about a year after I'd been doing really intense yoga practice and I'd really developed the ability to breathe properly. I'd had emotional releases on the yoga mat and it was like I'd released so much stuff that my body just no longer had any need for cigarettes. And so I just was able to stop.


It's a really interesting thing to think about that when we're smoking it's not because we like smoking. Because actually most people that smoke don't really like smoking in the sense that it smells not that nice. Your fingers get all stained and yucky. And you're continually stuck with this need to have a cigarette. You want to go on holiday and you get stuck in an airport and you can't have a cigarette. And you want to do this and then you can't have a cigarette. And it's this constant stress of wanting to have one and living in that high stress kind of emotions. So you don't really want to do it but you need to do it. And sometimes I think it's because we're holding on to all these emotions and that's making us have this need for cigarettes. When we actually learn to release stuff, we no longer have the need and so the addiction is not there anymore.



Jessi:

That's a really interesting take. I've never heard that before, but that resonates with me big time. Especially when you're talking about the release with yoga. I heartily believe that a bulk of a smoking addiction is emotionally driven. I just love that you found a practice to release that emotional stagnancy because it's very difficult to access sometimes when we're so used to numbing. Like you said, shoving down. That can be really, really hard. So, did you struggle a lot emotionally as you were quitting or was it a little bit easier for you since you were easing your way out of it slowly over time?


Mercedes:

I had moments emotionally, but I found it very, very easy. Now, as with most smokers, I come from a family of smokers. So, my mom smokes and my dad smoked. And my mom was really surprised. She was like, "You just gave up? You just stopped?" She was like, "You found that really easy." And I was like, "I did actually find it really easy." And I think almost part of what happened is my identity switched before I tried to give up smoking. So I was a non-smoker like everything else I was doing. So the way I was treating my body was like how a non-smoker would behave. And so it was really easy to switch that part in my brain. And I think the biggest thing with giving up smoking is your identity as you are a smoker. And a lot of people when they give up and they go on to nicotine replacement products, they remain a smoker on a nicotine replacement product. when the stress comes up, they will just go back to smoking because they haven't actually changed their identity of being a non-smoker. And I think that's one of the big keys. You have to believe you are a non-smoker. Otherwise, that is always going to be there as an addiction. You're always going to want to go back to it because you're a smoker, denying yourself cigarettes.



Jessi:

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me. It's kind of crazy that you were able to make that shift that quickly and like you said before you quit. That's really powerful because it's just a mindset. If you have that kind of calling that I don't want to do this anymore, I want to change this. But you're still smoking out of the habit and you can work on that. Just that mindset shift is really helpful to be like this is not going to be a forever thing because like you said you were talking about I'm never quitting smoking. So just even that shift to be open like “I'm going to do this. I don't know how I'm going to do this but I'm starting this path. And I've made this choice that I'm going to go this direction.” It’s powerful. It's a game changer once you acknowledge that you're going to start out that way.


I think it's really neat that you had developed the tools for self-care because that's something I struggled with myself is I had no idea how to take care of myself. I mean, I didn't even know how to cook. I didn't know anything. So, that was the start for me too was learning how like, “Okay, this is a nutritious diet. Exercise is important.” I just had nothing. So, that I think that was really helpful and that took years for me. So, I'm just really impressed that you were able to evolve with that so quickly.


All that knowledge and that self-care really supported you with quitting smoking. Like you said, you didn't have that big of an effect because you made sure that you had your proper minerals and were feeling your best. And I think that smoking pulls so much of that from us and it's not really talked about. It's just like, “Oh, cancer, you know.” But we don't talk about like, “Wow, it's really dehydrating and it makes it harder for us to absorb minerals . And it's like this compound effect.” There's just so many things that you don't really know until you've quit smoking and you're like, "Wow, I can breathe."



Mercedes:

Yeah. One of the things people don't know is that when you smoke, every cigarette you have, it depletes vitamin C from your body. You actually use vitamin C to smoke. So, if you are a smoker, you absolutely have to supplement vitamin C, because you won't be getting enough vitamin C to make you healthy. That kind of thing. They never talk about, “Oh, you know, vitamin C is used up by smoking.” But it is. And so you're going to be less able to cope with stress because you haven't got the vitamin C in your body to cope with. So you then need more cigarettes to cope with the stress. And so you're kind of stuck in this hamster wheel.


And you're right, it is about choosing. I mean, sometimes I say to people, “I don't really know how I gave up. I just woke up one day and thought, ‘I don't want to smoke anymore.’” And it was just like a thing that came through in my brain. And it's only with hindsight looking back that I've kind of like, “Oh yeah, that pulled it apart. This is why it happened.” But if you're sitting there, you genuinely want to give up smoking, my biggest theme would be, “How can you see yourself as a non-smoker?” It might mean starting to make a new circle of friends and a new way of living your life, because if you're spending your whole life with smokers–because that's often what happens. You end up spending a lot of time around smokers, then it's going to be really, really hard to then start seeing yourself as a non-smoker. If you're surrounded by lots of smoking and that kind of mindset of, “We're all going to smoke together.” So it's about how you can create–not giving up those friends–but how you can create a new circle where there's time you can spend away from the smoking, and that can help you to create that new identity of who you actually are.



Jessi:

Yeah that's a really important piece and I'm wondering: you said, “I don't know how I did it. I just did it.” Would you call that intuition?



Mercedes:

It was like I just woke up and gave up in the April. So I started in the February. It took me like six to eight weeks to give up, because I tapered it off really gradually. But I started in the February and I just decided. I just woke up and I thought, “You know what? I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be a smoker. I don't want to be doing this. I don't want to be doing all these really healthy things and smoking.” It didn't fit for me.


And so it was a gradual progression down from smoking twenty cigarettes a day to smoking three to stopping. And that's why it took me time. I was aware that the kind of more cold turkey you go, the harder it is in your body and the less chance you have of success. So I did taper it down really, really gradually. So it made it much easier to give up because I wasn't putting that stress of like, “I've got to give up today.” It was like, “I'm just going to cut down and cut down and cut down until I'm ready to stop.


Jessi:

With changing your social situation, was that difficult to put up boundaries? I know you said you didn't like to be around the smoke and you know with your family smoking, how do you handle that?



Mercedes:

To be honest, what happened naturally was–part of was–I'd actually already got into circles of people who were non-smokers. So it wasn't like I went out and searched for it because I was doing all of the yoga and I was going to the gym a lot and I was eating healthily. Naturally, my friends weren't smokers. It was quite hard because I was living in the house with my mom at the time, who was smoking. So it should have been harder, really. It should have been harder, but it didn't bother me that she was smoking.


Now, to be honest, I don't really know that many people that smoke. Occasionally, I'm around people that smoke, but a lot less people do it now than they used to, as well. I can cope with being around it. I don't like the smell of it. Sometimes if I go to my mom's house and she's been smoking inside, I'm like, "It smells awful. It's really not nice. You need to go back outside and smoke." But generally, it doesn't really factor in on my radar anymore. I'm just so much of a non-smoker that smoking is just something that other people do.



Jessi:

Yeah. You said that you didn't even want it most of the time. You said that you had that craving. You don't have cravings anymore. Because I was surprised, too, by a craving. Sometimes it's just weird. You'll have something so stressful or something so triggering that's just like, “Whoa, where did that come from?” Like, I didn't have cravings for years and then I just had a random one when I had a really tough day. Just so many years of wiring that just something, like a little imprint, was left, I guess. And I was like, “Wait, what am I thinking? No way.”


Mercedes:

That, I think, is an interesting one as well, because when you get those cravings years later, it's a craving, but it doesn't really have the same effect as a craving when you were smoking. Because you get it and you think, “Yeah I don't really want that craving.” It's like when I was pregnant and I couldn't drink and–I don't really drink that much anyway. I might have the odd drink. I used to get cravings all the time for drinking beer and I was like, “I don't even drink beer.” So it was like there was–I didn't really need to go out and have a drink. I think it's like the brain suddenly clicked into something or, “This is a good idea.” But because it's not something you actually do anymore, it's really easy to go, “Oh no, I don't really want to do that. It's just something weird happening in my brain.”



Jessi:

That's nice to separate yourself from that, too. That, you know, we're not our thoughts. It's really more about actions and just that intentionality with what's best for us from our heart, that guidance from our intuition, and from just that inner knowing. I'm wondering, going way back to what you had mentioned, that you used it for breaks and relaxation–and I also have a big streak of workaholism, and that was a huge thing for me. It was so hard to shift out of that to make space for time outside for breaks. What have you done now to fill in that need?



Mercedes:

It's an ongoing process I would say with me, and that's kind of one of the things that I work on. I recently suffered from full-on burnout. Part of it is because I don't give myself that space to breathe and to break. And so now it's actually starting to tune into what's happening in my body. So actually when I start to feel tired, listening to that and saying, "Okay, I need a break now." Or maybe, “I'm actually hungry. I need a break. I need something to eat. I need to sit down and do that. And I need to step away from what I'm doing while I do it.” Or, “I want to have a cup of coffee and I want to step away from my computer to have the coffee and not work through with the coffee.”


So, it's just about recognizing what's happening in my brain and tuning into that a bit more, because it's really easy to get caught up in work, and you're working away, and you stop listening to your body, because you're just absorbed in what you're doing. Just that process of learning to listen to what's happening: “Have I actually got the energy to do what I'm doing or am I just doing it because I think I should do more?” It's a battle for me. It's a battle for so many people where we think we should do something, we should do that, and we feel like we have to do everything for everybody and be everybody to everybody.


We forget about the fact that, actually, we need to be taken care of and that's why smoking is so hard to quit, because that gives you that little space to take care of yourself. That everybody just accepts you smoke and you say, “I'm going for a cigarette break.” Nobody goes, “Oh why are you doing that?” But if you don't smoke and you say I'm just going outside for a five minute break, they're like, “Why?” And it's starting to change that narrative as well: “I need a five minute break; that's why.” And making that a part of a routine as well with other people, so that they're aware that actually, breaks are important for everybody.



Jessi:

How has your body connection changed since you quit smoking? Do you have a deeper awareness? Are you more in tune with, “Hey, I'm feeling tired. Maybe I need some water,” like you were talking about? And with your lungs, too, you were carrying that emotion in there. So, what's changed for you with that connection? It's been night and day for me.


Mercedes:

Definitely been. And obviously, because I was doing so much yoga, that's changed. Like, it's hard to separate out the connection that yoga's brought and that quitting smoking has brought. So that definitely helped me to understand a lot more about how my body worked, what was happening in there, and how I actually felt and about staying present because that's why we can get over those cravings. Because cravings are just habitual things that we do when we're not present. They creep back in.


And so, actually not smoking has taught me to be a lot more present because I'm a lot more aware of when these things happen. I can listen to them. I can accept them and I can, like you said, choose to believe what's happening in my brain or not. Sometimes what's going on in your brain is just nonsense. Yeah, there's definitely a connection between the two. I find it really hard to sort of separate out the smoking and the spiritual practice and which ones caused what. There was a lot of overlap between getting much more deep into the spiritual work and quitting smoking that it's a combination.



Jessi:

Yeah, it was like that for me too. I started yoga and meditation when I quit, and it helped me really stay with it. So, it's kind of hard to–it's like everything was together at the same time. So, I understand that, and you've shared so much, and I really appreciate your story and your vulnerability here. And you've given a lot of practical tips, too, or just even mindset–where to start. But do you have any final words for people that might be listening and thinking about quitting smoking?



Mercedes:

If you're thinking about quitting smoking and you want to actually do it, just know that you can, because so many people have. And I think sometimes it's really easy to get into your brain as, “This is impossible. I can't do it. It's really hard.” And actually, to know that if you really want it, you can do it. And it's just about believing that you can do it. That's a huge part of the battle: you think you can't quit and you can.



Jessi:

That's why it’s so important to hear that other people can do it. It starts to chip away. So thank you so much for sharing. How can our listeners get in touch with you and your work?



Mercedes:

You can either grab me on Facebook. My name is Mercedes Aspland and I am the only one on Facebook, so I'm really easy to find. Or come and join me on Skool. I have a free group called The Sacred Pause and this is where we learn to basically take that space for ourselves. So I’m sharing a bit of my journey, what I'm doing, the things I'm implementing on a day-to-day basis. And we come together as a community and share what's going on for us. And I'd love to welcome you into that completely free community and it's just a place to connect and to share what's going on for us in our spiritual journeys. And that's on Skool so it's The Sacred Pause.



Jessi:

Connection is so important. It really was a critical part of me moving on from quitting smoking, and it wasn't even necessarily a no smoking group like you were talking about with your yoga group. It's just being with people that are like-minded and trying to develop themselves that is key. It's so inspiring and motivating even on the hard days. So, I really think it's awesome that you have a group like that for people to come together and to encourage each other, because it can be very confusing and hard when you don't know what you're doing. It means everything.



Mercedes:

And it's just lovely to have people to talk to because since I've been doing more online, the number of really great friends I've met online, there’s always someone there that's going to support me when I'm struggling. So, I find it so valuable.


Jessi:

Well, thank you for that work and for sharing your story. I've learned a lot, too. I'm very interested in this process of grief in the lungs. I want to look more into that for myself. So, thank you so much, and I really appreciate you being here.



Mercedes:

Thank you, and thanks for having me. I've loved it.



Jessi:

All right, take care, everyone. See you next week


End of interview.


Jessi:

I hope today's story inspired you as much as it did me. When we hear stories like this, it's a powerful reminder that change is possible. If you're ready to start taking those steps for yourself, I'd love to help.

I put together a free minicourse called How to Survive a Craving to help you access tools to get through temporary cravings and hold fast to your true desire to quit smoking. This course is the stuff I wish I knew when I was practicing quitting, and I've put what worked for me in one place for you. You can grab the minicourse right now by visiting honoryourheart.net/craving.

Until next time, remember to treat yourself with kindness and to cherish the gifts of your heart. I'll talk with you soon. Thank you.

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